An instructive anecdote for this evening: Last year, I insulted the hostess of a New Year’s Eve party I was attending by smugly noting, “Uh, that’s not really champagne, — it’s sparkling wine,” when she tried to make what she called a “champagne toast” just before midnight. Not my fault, really — she was pouring from a bottle born in Sonoma, CA., which is no where near N.E. France…

“So. Then don’t drink it,” the hostess said, taking the “glass” (made from flimsy plastic) out of my hand and pouring the liquid onto her carpet (a drab sienna shortshag). A few people laughed — and then the silly harlot tore off my ascot and stormed out of the room, her hideous gown trail dragging a step or two behind her…

… This year, my wife and I are staying home, drinking dark rum’n’fruitjuice drinks and playing Stratego in the great room …

The moral of the story? 1) Know your audience 2) Just play along, and 3) Make sure it’s really your wife before you start grabbin’ for some fresh New Year’s bumsqueeze… (this last has nothing to do with the story, I realize, but trust me — it’s sound advice…)”

Best Wishes to All of You!
–Jeff, Cynthia, Christy, Milton, Victor, Corky, Anne, & Boja Willy, Island Hopper

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