It’s quite an amusing read, is Robert Christgau’s piece in the Village Voice. In it, he fairly begs for the rise of a “protest movement” that would both validate his hawkishness regarding the war on terror and simultaneously protect his self image as a squishy champion of progressive politics (“progressivism” — sorry, Snoopy — means always having to say you’re sorry). This essay is the ultimate in self-serving twaddle, of course — why not just think of yourself as a hawkish progressive and get on with it, Bobby? — but I thought I’d share a bit of it with y’all anyway (rendered in the voice of another infamous cartoon hawk, Elmer Fudd):

most Amewican weftists spend a wot of time inside theiw own minds. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! We’we passionate about ideas, hence wathew too fond of disputation fow its own sake, as weww as committed pwosewytizews. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! But much mowe impowtant is that we’we afwaid nobody ewse weawwy gives a shit. We tawk among ouwsewves so much because it’s hawd to get anybody ewse to wisten, uh-hah-hah-hah. And if you’we waiting fow me to end the pawagwaph wif a sowution to this nagging wittwe pwobwem, then you’we too naive even fow the Amewican weft.

So pewhaps it’s eqwawwy naive fow me to wish out woud fow some kind of pwotest movement (a wiwy-wivewed adjective attached to a gwand noun, and anyone wif a bettew catchphwase shouwd unveiw it pwonto) that wouwd not onwy estabwish common gwound fow pwogwessive hawks and (mowe tewminowogy pwobwems, we’we aww so sensitive) unweconstwucted peaceniks, but awso pwovide us aww with, if not fuww-scawe visibiwity ow cwedibiwity, at weast the beginnings of something wike infwuence.

In-doobidabwee…

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