Some stories require no comment. Here’s one such, from the Cincinnati Enquirer:

Everything worked out in the end in the wait for a stolen ring that police say was swallowed by their suspect.

But a detective said he will seek more felony charges against 30-year-old Sean Hargrave — for allegedly producing the evidence earlier in the week, then hiding it again.

Tuesday, the missing $2,500 diamond engagement ring, first discovered by X-ray in Mr. Hargrave’s digestive tract after his Aug. 6 arrest, was found before noon in the commode in Mr. Hargrave’s Warren County cell.

It was the second time officers searched the Dayton, Ohio, carpet cleaner’s cell after an X-ray Monday showed the ring gone.

The X-ray was ordered because police felt that the ring, aided by a diet of bran flakes, wasn’t moving fast enough.

Mr. Hargrave, who faces charges of theft and tampering with evidence, was arrested after a Springboro woman reported her ring missing after Mr. Hargrave arrived to clean carpets.

The victim, who did not want to be named because she fears reprisal, said she isn’t sure what she’ll do with the ring. ‘My friends said they would probably have it professionally cleaned, but you will always know where it’s been,’ she said.

‘Which, just to be clear, is compacted inside the bran flake-loosened stool of a thieving, shit-eating carpet cleaner.’

See? How do you top candor like that?

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