Ann Coulter, who assured us that Mitt Romney was more conservative than Reagan and that Chris Christie — who, when he isn’t supping with Obama and the Chinese in the White House, or blubbering over Bruce Springsteen noticing his fat ass, is preaching bipartisan compromise with unbridled and unabashed collectivism, supporting mosques at Ground Zero, and rushing to implement a state health care exchange after refusing to sign on to

And if my calculations are correct, each one of those mundane little bastards owes $112.5 mil in unfunded liabilities. So some of those stories had better get to work saving. The government’s charity and compassion and welcoming of the huddled masses yearning to work cheaply and off the books on roofs or hanging drywall isn’t just going to pay for itself, you know.

20 terms. 20. As in, around since the Ford Administration. I’d say that the founders would turn over in their graves if they ever thought a creature the likes of Waxman would become such a political institution — or that a free people would enable him to do so — but the fact of the matter is, they all turned over long ago, and at this point, they’re probably just

I mean, a leftist “news” organization dedicated almost solely to its smallish progressive viewer base (and I suppose at least a few of those pragmatic conservatives who would invite Joe Scarborough to speak at a conference on the future of conservatism) declaring in advance that the wingnuts, with their knuckledragging flyover “values,” would protest or violently denounce a SuperBowl cereal ad featuring a bi-racial couple because, well, conservatives hate them

Say what you will about Salinger, but his Holden Caulfield had these types pegged. Like, pinioned. To that Styrofoam board used by bug collectors to stick needles through the elytra of a prepared beetle. Of course, hypocrisy doesn’t count when you’re an antifoundationalist. And antifoundationalism is really just an excuse to do anything you want and justify it without having to worry about Enlightment constructs like intellectual consistency, constancy, or

Yeah. Like I bothered watching that horseshit.

Peyton Manning is cordial. Marshawn Lynch doesn’t like speaking to the media much. Obama likes to hear himself talk and believes that we should be compelled to listen — and if not listen, to do as he says anyway. The GOP will respond by assuring us that they too care. As if that’s something anyone anywhere gives two shits about. There. My job as CITIZEN JOURNALIST is done.

Incidentally, I should mention that I’ve been doing a lot of coaching this week in preparation for State finals this weekend. Satchel took second place in the Regional finals Saturday, winning his first two matches by points, outscoring his opponents 24-0, before losing in the finals to a kid who he’s yet to beat, a member of the League’s premier club (at least for now). Satch was also the only