And if that doesn’t work, forced conversion is always an option. After all, nothing says “tolerance” quite like a good old-fashioned unconditional religious surrender.
From MSNBC:
A Roman Catholic Bishop in the Netherlands has proposed people of all faiths refer to God as Allah to foster understanding, stoking an already heated debate on religious tolerance in a country with one million Muslims.Bishop Tiny Muskens, from the southern diocese of Breda, told Dutch television on Monday that God did not mind what he was named and that in Indonesia, where Muskens spent eight years, priests used the word “Allah” while celebrating Mass.
“Allah is a very beautiful word for God. Shouldn’t we all say that from now on we will name God Allah? … What does God care what we call him? It is our problem.”
Well, then. In that case, I prefer to call him “Maurice” — though I’d understand if other folks took to calling him “the space cowboy,” instead.
A survey in the Netherlands’ biggest-selling newspaper De Telegraaf on Wednesday found 92 percent of the more than 4,000 people polled disagreed with the bishop’s view, which also drew ridicule.
“Sure. Lets call God Allah. Lets then call a church a mosque and pray five times a day. Ramadan sounds like fun,” Welmoet Koppenhol wrote in a letter to the newspaper.
What Mr Koppenhol fails to appreciate, in his rush to assume the role of HATER, is that there are certain perks that I think we shouldn’t be too quick to overlook in Bishop Tiny’s plan — like, for instance, bland communion wafers being replaced by a compote of dates and figs, a glass of sweat tea, and a Godly hit off the hash pipe.
Then, of course, there’s the liberating ability to slay any Jew you happen to find hiding behind a tree and have your God be, like, totally cool with that — the additional upshot being that mortgage rates would likely fall, and Hollywood would finally start putting out some family-friendly fare…
Plus, when you’re wearing robes and sandals, every day is Casual Friday!
(thanks to Tim P)
Comment by N. O'Brain on 8/16 @ 10:37 am #
“Bishop Tiny Muskens”
Is that his name or is that what he has?
Comment by SporkLift Driver on 8/16 @ 10:41 am #
Tiny Muskens? Is that what they call them over there?
Sweat tea? yuck!
TW: practical election
Maybe they could have one to replace Tiny and his almost nonexistent muskens.
Comment by nikkolai on 8/16 @ 10:44 am #
I thought the Euro weenies were at least going to put up a fight. Guess not….
Comment by Pablo on 8/16 @ 10:47 am #
I’m going to insist on maintaining the Catholic beverage of choice, unless we can get a Holy Ale amendment passed. You can keep that tea. Ewwww.
Comment by Tim P on 8/16 @ 10:53 am #
Just speculating.
If god doesn’t care what we call him and I’m sure Tiny’s god is way cool with that. Can we call him Satan?
I was born on this rock
and I’ve been trav’lin through space,
since the moment I first realized
what all you fast talkin cats
would do if you could
you know I’m ready for the final surprise.
-Space Cowboy
Comment by mojo on 8/16 @ 10:54 am #
“The Gangster of Love” works for me…
SB: enemies pervaded
Comment by oagen on 8/16 @ 10:55 am #
Doesn’t dude know that allah doesn’t even exist?
Comment by Obstreperous Infidel on 8/16 @ 11:09 am #
Just don’t call him Al.
Comment by happyfeet on 8/16 @ 11:10 am #
Feminists should find this particularly screwy, alarming even, and it’s telling that the AP only quotes guys.
Pingback by This ain’t Hell, but you can see it from here » Links for a busy day on 8/16 @ 11:13 am #
[...] at Protein Wisdom gets into the spirit of the Dutch [...]
Comment by Shawn on 8/16 @ 11:15 am #
Wowwwww, wowwwww
Comment by jeremy on 8/16 @ 11:20 am #
I did a text search in both the Bible and the Koran. There is no mention of the pompatus of love.
Pingback by Truth v. The Machine » Archives » Another Surrender of Breda on 8/16 @ 11:21 am #
[...] Wizbang, The Glittering Eye, Blue Crab Boulevard, Hot Air, normblog, Macsmind, Wake Up America, Protein Wisdom, Ace of Spades and Blogs of [...]
Comment by TallDave on 8/16 @ 11:31 am #
In a related story, Iran’s Supreme Ayatollah Khamanei and Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden today issued a rare joint statement calling for Muslims to begin referring to Mohammed as “Jesus” in order to reduce tensions with Christians.
Pingback by tolerance « empty rhetoric on 8/16 @ 11:41 am #
[...] (via PW): Yesterday, a Bishop from the Netherlands suggested that, in the name of “tolerance”, [...]
Comment by SweepTheLeg on 8/16 @ 11:44 am #
You can add 72 virgins to that perks list. I mean, come on, who’s not down with a boatload of virgins. Oh yea, and indiscriminate killing of women and children.
Pingback by UrbanGrounds » Blog Archive on 8/16 @ 11:51 am #
[...] at Protein Wisdom thinks he’d prefer to just call him Maurice. Though, you’re free to call him the “space cowboy”. Spread the word: These [...]
Comment by Squid on 8/16 @ 11:58 am #
I’m pretty sure “Pompatus of Love” is the subtitle to the Song of Solomon.
Comment by SarahW on 8/16 @ 12:00 pm #
what all you fast talkin cats
would do if you could
you know I’m ready for the final surprise
Jesus Christ, It’s a Hippopompatus!
Comment by kyle on 8/16 @ 12:00 pm #
“In a related story, Iran’s Supreme Ayatollah Khamanei and Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden today issued a rare joint statement calling for Muslims to begin referring to Mohammed as “Jesus†in order to reduce tensions with Christians.”
Thread winner!
TW – withdraws arabians
That thing is spooky!
Comment by BJTexs on 8/16 @ 12:08 pm #
Pimping Steve Miller! Are you trying to burnish your pop culture coolness for perfesser Loon Waffle?
In the Presbyterian Church (PCUSA) there is an organization called The Reimaging Movement. They’re stated goal is to get the church to rename God with a less traditionally patriarchal title. They choose “Sophia”, the Greek word for “wisdom.”
This alone would have been enough to shred the sanity of traditional Prebyterians but the Re-Imagers put on quite the show at a recent General Assembly meeting in Louisville, KY. They placed bells in the middle of their meeting tables and proceeded to dance around the table, stopping only to ring the bell, cup a hand to their ear and “listen for Sophia.”
Moral of this story: Every denomination, even Catholics, have looney tuney moral relativist toleranty sponge heads. My advise is to ignore the idiot bishop like we ignore dancing, bell ringing renamers.
Except to point and laugh.
Besides, I was hankerin’ to get me some self flaggelation during Ramadan. Well that and the virgins…
Comment by smiller on 8/16 @ 12:27 pm #
In the word that hears my father, Maurice is the only one to make your little heart sing.
I call my god “Pops”.
Comment by Lesley on 8/16 @ 12:28 pm #
“Sweat tea”?
When my son was in first grade, he proudly presented me with a Mother’s Day card he had created in which called me “The Sweatest Mommy in the World.” “I love my sweat Mommy.”
Yup, you betcha. I framed that one.
Comment by mojo on 8/16 @ 12:51 pm #
“Young man, we do NOT refer to the Holy Trinity as ‘Big Daddy, Junior and the Spook’!…” quoth the Penguin.
Ah, memories of (thoroughly hated) Catholic school….
SB: impulse control
rated “poor”
Comment by JD on 8/16 @ 12:55 pm #
BJ – You do not need to wait for Ramadan to practice your self love.
Jesus hua al akbar.
Comment by JD on 8/16 @ 1:06 pm #
God Muathem.
Comment by Shawn on 8/16 @ 1:37 pm #
Isn’t the Bishop essentially creating God in his own image?
Comment by Ouroboros on 8/16 @ 3:01 pm #
George Harrison – My Sweet Lord
Hm, my lord (Hallelujah)
My, my, my lord (Hare Allah)
My sweet lord (Hare Allah)
My sweet lord (Krishna Allah)
My lord (Allah Allah)
Hm, hm (Gurur Allah)
Hm, hm (Gurur Allah)
Hm, hm (Gurur Allah)
Hm, hm (Mahesh-Allah)
My sweet lord (Gurur Allah)
My sweet lord (Parabrallah)
My, my, my lord (Tasmayi Allah)
My, my, my, my lord (Guruve N-Allah)
My sweet lord (Hare R-Allah)
::sigh::
It’s just not the same..
tw: crumpled however.. yes it is.
Comment by Ouroboros on 8/16 @ 3:14 pm #
I’m thinkin the Hindus are going to come off looking like Newhart derivatives in all of this.
This is my god, Allah.
These are his avatars; Allah, Allah & Allah
and his Devas and Devis; Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah & Allah
and the blue chick with all the arms. Allah.. and the Elephant; Allah too.
Comment by Big Bang (Darth Rove yet lurks) on 8/16 @ 3:36 pm #
- How long before we start seeing turbins handing out “Golden Dome WatchTower” pamplets in airports? After all, they have set foot on our soil, so according to their liturgy, we are now officially conquered. Does this mean curbside hitching posts for camels? ‘Course that foot washing thing could be kind of nice. Overall though, I don’t see this catching on. I mean just wait til they try to outlaw barbacue in Texas. Then you’re going to see some serious patriotic blowback shit, let me tell ya.
TW: nervous Lawgiver …Yeh…..If I was Allah, and I had to come up with a couple hundred million more virgins from somewhere, I’d be sort of nervous too.
Comment by JD on 8/16 @ 3:51 pm #
Big Bang – I thought Texas BBQ was beef.
Comment by Bozoer Rebbe on 8/16 @ 4:03 pm #
Actually, Christians and Jews living in Arab and Muslim lands use the word Allah for God, when speaking in the vernacular. Though Mizrachi Jews would never pray to the name of Allah, when speaking Arabic, they would most likely use the word Allah.
I have a small embroidery business and sell Infidel Attire, t-shirts and hats embroidered with pro US, pro Israel, and anti Jihad slogans in Arabic. My translator, who was raised as a Muslim, suggested Allah Afkar [Allah is an infidel], and Allah Askar [Allah is lesser], as plays on Allah Akbar. When discussing some of the slogans with a friend of mine, a Lubavicher chasid, he suggested that since Sephardi and Mizrachi Jews sometimes use the term, it might not be a good idea to sell them.
Comment by Quentin George on 8/16 @ 4:10 pm #
Yup, for Arabic-speaking Christians and Jews, they naturally use an Arabic word when referring to God.
What would be a better move than this Bishop’s selection, would be for Islam to divest itself of the Arabic cultural imperialism that attaches itself to the religion like a leech.
In other words, non-Arabic speaking Muslims, can start using terms like “God”, “Adonai”, “Shang-Ti” and the rest for God, rather than an Arabic term that has no business turning up uninvited into another language.
Comment by Big Bang (Darth Rove yet lurks) on 8/16 @ 4:12 pm #
- JD – Thats changed over the years, with almost anything that walks or squaks being added to the barbie. Besides, Texans will barbecue anything, as long as its not made in Neew Hyork sitie….
TW: conduct Rudolf …The guy from Neew Hyork….He’s here….. well just give him a stetson and a well done rack, and everyone pretend he’s an American…We all don’t want to lose our rep for friendliness, yah hear…..
Comment by Ouroboros on 8/16 @ 5:20 pm #
George Hanley: Well that kind of simplifies everything, doesnt it? We started out with nine billion names, now there’s just one; Allah.
Look… (There’s always a last time for everything.)
Overhead, without any fuss, the stars were going out.
Comment by TheGeezer on 8/16 @ 5:52 pm #
The educated archbishop likely fell into error when he advocated Allah as the name if God; it denies, implicitly, the Blesses Trinity. What a loon.
Comment by JD on 8/16 @ 6:06 pm #
I think the difference in reaction is the most telling. We laugh at the multi-culti one-way-traffic brand of tolerance espoused here. Were the jihadis in our position, this would result in riots, suicide bombings, and crazy Muslims banging scimtars against their head as a sign of their passion, all while blowing up a few Joooooooooos just for fun.
Comment by JD on 8/16 @ 6:34 pm #
Big Bang – Oh, I am not picky when it comes to by BBQ. If it was previously live, and can be consumed, it will always taste better on the grill. One of the all-time greatest was Blue Crabs over a hickory BBQ when I was in Houston.
Comment by JD on 8/16 @ 7:03 pm #
Comment by Ouroboros on 8/16 @ 8:03 pm #
Aaahh, consulting the Holy Book of Allahments I see.
Comment by JD on 8/16 @ 8:07 pm #
Ouroboros – Actually, that is a modified quote from Mojo JoJo, h/t to Dan Collins.
Comment by Big Bang (Darth Rove yet lurks) on 8/16 @ 8:24 pm #
*** News Alert ***
- An additional accident has occured at the Crendle mine in Utah. Rescue operations were suspending a short time ago, and nine miners involved in the operation trying to locate 6 other miners, caught in a mine collapse 9 days, had to be brought out with some undefined injuries. As of now the word is that rescue operations have stopped. The acccident was reportedly caused by another “bounce”, or shifting of the mountain sediments withing the mine. Another press conference is scheduled shortly to update the public.
Comment by charles austin on 8/17 @ 10:16 am #
Can you imagine a Roman Catholic bishop suggesting everyone refer to the almighty as Yahweh? To further cultural understanding, of course.
Comment by SGT Ted on 8/17 @ 10:23 am #
Let no one say I am not willing to be a part of the solution.
I think Muslims throughout the world should start referring to Allah as “Ted”.
Comment by happyfeet on 8/17 @ 10:25 am #
I’m kind of hard-pressed to think of nouns that the adjective “mining” modifies other than “equipment” and “accident.”
Comment by Celtic Dragon on 8/17 @ 8:47 pm #
This leaves me in kind of a quandry, since I am Asatru. Do I call Odin Big Allah, Thor Strong Allah, Tyr Brave Allah, etc? Nah, too confusing… I’ll just stick to THE NAMES THEY ALREADY FRICKIN’ HAVE!!!
Sheesh, no offence Catholic types, but ya’ll have some real winners in your priesthood.
“Noooobody expects the Dutch Inquisition! Our two chief weapons are surprise, idiocy and a complete lack of common sense! Our THREE chief weapons are surprise, idiocy, a complete lack of common sense, and a willingness to surrender to our enemies…
TW: result terribly. no, I’m sure everything will work out just fine….
Comment by mark on 8/18 @ 7:22 am #
There’s apparently a lot of rejection of church doctrine going on lately in comgregations. Usually, it stops short of violating the ten commandments.
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