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Notice [updated]

Just received word that my grandmother passed away this afternoon. We’d been expecting it, but still, when a person has already lived into her mid 90s, you kind of expect that she’ll always be around.

Tough old birds aren’t supposed to die. They’re supposed to stick around and peck at you whenever you try reaching for a cookie without asking first. They’re supposed to keep their sofas covered in heavy clear plastic sheeting, and keep mint bowls filled on immaculate end tables.

They’re supposed to give you butterscotch candy.

Death of a grandmother — any grandmother, I suppose, though you’ll forgive me for making this about me — is one step closer to the death of butterscotch. And for that, the whole world is worse off.

****
update: More horrible news. Mike at Cold Fury lost his wife, Christiana, Friday in a motorcycle accident. Please go over and offer your condolences.

98 Replies to “Notice [updated]”

  1. Great Mencken's Ghost says:

    My sympathies on your loss.

  2. DrSteve says:

    Our condolences.

  3. BJTexs says:

    I know exactly what you mean as both of my Grandmas lived well into their nineties.

    My Vovo believed that soap operas were the result of hidden cameras in people’s homes. She worked a farm by herself until she was ninety-six and did 15 minutes of exercises every morning dispite brutal arthritis.

    Godspeed to you and your family. (What did you call your grandmother, BTW?)

  4. Septentrio says:

    All my condolences to you and yours.

  5. Mr. Boo says:

    The lost of a grandmother is a loss to the entire world, but especially yours.

    Condolences.

  6. Big Bang Hunter says:

    …and which reminds us all that we’re one step closer to not having to worry about butterscotch anymore…

    – Condolences

  7. TBinSTL says:

    Ouch. I know too well where you’re at. Prayers.

  8. ahem says:

    I’m sorry to hear of your loss.

  9. Timmer says:

    Thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

    Peppermints and butterscotch. I think I’ll have to pick some up and tell my son about my departed grandparents.

  10. happyfeet says:

    I hope all your family can get there. It’s sad that the little guy won’t get to know her, but he’ll get to see how loved she was.

  11. Mikey NTH says:

    Little hard candies shaped like satin pillows, and Hummel figurines. And the smell of mothballs and baked pastries.

  12. Percy Dovetonsils says:

    Damn, Jeff, sorry to hear that. My best to you and your family.

  13. Jeffersonian says:

    I’m so sorry, Jeff. My condolences.

  14. clarice says:

    Hard raspberry candies, kreplach, gefillte fish, kishke,homemade dill pickles, brandied sour cherries,hot out of the oven pletzels on Sunday mornings and a face that so shone with love I knew that all was right with the world the minute she smiled at me.

    My sympathies.

  15. JHoward says:

    My condolences also, Jeff. Memories.

    (Seared roast beef, warm tea, Dutch butter cookies, homemade rhubarb pie…)

  16. B Moe says:

    Blackberry cobbler. My sympathies.

  17. eLarson says:

    The secret to perfect pie crusts. Every time.

    My deepest sympathy.

  18. Dan Collins says:

    Sorry about your Gran, Jeff. Sounds like she had a full life, though, what with teaching you some manners and all, young man.

  19. Pablo says:

    Condolences, Jeff.

  20. steveaz says:

    God love her, Jeff.

  21. JD says:

    Peanut butter cookies with the fork marks on top. And home-made strawberry preserves and apple butter.

    Sincere condolences. My paternal grandmother is still alive and kicking, and has had the opportunity to have a great relationship with my daughter, her only great-grandchild. I think they are both quite fortunate.

  22. Condolences to you and her family.

  23. T&T says:

    Jeff,

    Grandmothers! What memories. The perfect chocolate pie, so rich that the whipped cream on top was unsweet. Maw-maw smoked, cussed mildly when angered (“hell” and “damn”, quite the scandal to us young-uns) and made us work when we visited. Gigi had false teeth and popped them out at us about once a year for a laugh. Found out later that she had been married to a gangster who was shot dead on her front porch before she married my grandfather. She despised FDR, social security, and medicare.

    Condolences and prayers, Jeff.

    T&T

  24. McGehee says:

    Condolences and prayers here too, Jeff.

  25. Diana says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Grandmother’s are legendary … also, fonts of wisdom.

  26. Mikey NTH says:

    This seems to be the semi-appropriate place to put this.

    http://coldfury.com/index.php/?p=8422#respond

  27. largenfirm says:

    Sympathies, Jeff. I lost my great-great-grandmother, Edith May Crotts (nee Lang), in 2003, aged 103.

    She, too, seemed one of life’s verities, always there, always unchanged.

    Her nickname in the nursing home where she spent her last 4 years?

    “The Kid”

    To a lifetime of memories, and the love of grandmothers.

    Kirk

    TW: “publican porter” – seems somehow apropos…

  28. I’m sorry to hear about your loss :(

    USA, all the way!

  29. marcus says:

    My sincerest condolences, Jeff. God bless.

  30. Mikey NTH says:

    “USA, all the way!”

    Where else are the rafts headed?

  31. ccs says:

    My sympathies, Jeff and family.

    My grandma used to go to the nursing home to visit the ‘old folks’ up until she was 90, most of the old folks were in there 70s and 80s. If you asked her for a cookie she always said yes, even if she was putting supper on the table. She said that’s what Grandmas were for.

  32. Rusty says:

    My condolences to you and your family, Jeff……………………………….ninety something is a good pile of years. Pray to god that I should live so long and still know my own name.Until then.

  33. Carin says:

    I’m sorry Jeff. I lost my grandma about 13 years ago, and I still miss her terribly.

    My grandma liked those foaming peanut things. I loved her despite that.

  34. CraigC says:

    Tunafish salad sandwiches on Mrs. Higgins bread with the crust cut off, and cut into squares, and quartered cucumber wedges. A coke in the old 6 1/2 oz bottles from the refrigerator in the basement. And later, a vanilla with chocolate swirls push-up ice cream cone (they were called “rockets”) from the stand-up freezer in the basement.

  35. CraigC says:

    For me, of course, not for her.

  36. Jess says:

    Butterscotch? Well, I suppose, but my Grandmother was known for her weekly Brandy & Peach Melbas & lived to nearly the century mark.
    May God bless all Grandparents…

    J

  37. ugh, condolences to you and your family, Jeff.

  38. PattyAnn says:

    Sorry for your loss, Jeff.

  39. SethK says:

    Sorry about your grandma, Jeff. One of my best grandma memories was getting to eat the gin-soaked radish from her martini when I was a kid. Ah, ADD’s first experimental cure. Hope you have many good memories of your grandma too. Thoughts and prayers.

  40. CraigC says:

    As long as we’re on the subject, no matter what Pete (that was her nickname, no one knows why) was doing, whether it was making sandwiches for me or picking Japanese beetles by hand off the roses in her massive garden, she always had a small glass of sherry nearby. We used to call it “the magic glass,” because it never seemed to get empty. I took a sniff of it once when I was about twelve, and recoiled in horror. Much later in life when I had developed a more sophisticated palate–either that or I’d drink anything, I forget which–I discovered why she had that glass around. That shit will kick your ass, man.

  41. Beck says:

    My condolences for your loss.

  42. dicentra says:

    Mi más sentido pésame.

    I’ve got one grandma left, just turned 93. I’ll be on that road you’re on any time now.

  43. Pal2Pal says:

    Tough old birds aren’t supposed to die.

    Deepest condolences for you loss. My Mother died a couple of years ago at the age of 94. Her loss was just as deep even though many tried to tell me I should be happy she lived such a long and productive life and that I should celebrate not mourn. It was that very long life that made the loss all the more sad. You just think if they’ve made it so long, they’ll be there forever. The memories will be and that is a good thing.

    They’re supposed to give you butterscotch candy.

    Yes, and Key Lime pie, and unconditional love. My son said after his Grandma died, “who is going to put a rose bud at my place at the table now?” Who knew he even noticed?

    My grandchildren are visiting right now and they wanted to go swimming, but their mother was too busy to watch them. I heard the six year old say to her new friend from across the street, “that’s okay, I’ll ask “Groovy Granny,” she always has time for me.” And I cried, thinking life goes on and now I’m the family matriarch and being a Grandma is life’s little bonus prize.

  44. Blitz says:

    loster/clam/crab bakes and striper bbqs. The best Angel food cake this side of heaven and creamed salmon…

    Sorry for you loss Jeff. And for the tykes.

  45. Mikey NTH says:

    Pal2Pal: Those who did not think that managing a household was a high management position truly did not know anything. Especially with a horde of little kids about. Even with the labor saving devices of the last half century and no little kids present, I as a bachelor find it hard to keep the high standards up.

  46. fundamentalist Irish Catholic says:

    Our sympathies, Jeff, on the loss of your grandmother. Losing a grandmother is always hard to bear.

  47. Swen Swenson says:

    Our condolences to you and your family.

    Strawberry shortcake and hot tea. And of course, a photo of the Queen in its place of honor over the kitchen table.

  48. Bob Owens says:

    Jeff, I’ll say a prayer for your grandmother and you family tonight. You have my sincere sympathies.

  49. My condolences.

    Deep-dish apple crumble. The crumble made with an entire stick of salted butter, among other things. My prize was to smoosh up the ingredients and lick the butter, cinnamon, and brown sugar off my fingers. You have to use Macintosh apples, because the tartness makes is special.

    Also blackberry preserves she canned herself.

  50. JohnO says:

    Sorry to hear it, Jeff. My grandmothers live in in their Anise cookie and mint-in-the-middle cookie recipies. That and the love of scotch.

  51. […] Jeff Goldstein’s (Protein Wisdom) grandmother passed away. Condolences here. Jeff’s going to remember her everytime he has a butterscotch […]

  52. Jim in KC says:

    So sorry, Jeff.

    You know, my grandma never bought Tupperware bowls. She saved margarine containers for leftovers. Those thrifty, depression-era dames.

  53. cjd says:

    I’m very sorry for your loss, Jeff. My grandmother passed away at a similar age. My step-grandmother is still soldiering on at 96, God bless her, but she has her moments. All my best to you and your family.

  54. Bender Bending Rodriguez says:

    Our condolences to your family. As Homer would say, she had a good run.

  55. Its definitely not a good day.

  56. ThePolishNizel says:

    My condolences to you and your family too, Jeff. Take care.

  57. Darleen says:

    My deepest sympathies, my warmest thoughts and my prayers to you and yours, Jeff.

    Savor and share the memories. Of my maternal grandma it was “dress up” luncheon at The Tea Room at Bullock’s Wilshire, the best grilled cheese sandwiches ever, ribbon candy in the pink glass dish at Christmas and smooth wooden bowls filled with her own variation on Chex Mix that she called “nuts and bolts” for watching the Rose Bowl on New Years. She couldn’t live without her sweetheart of 59 years and merely slipped away in the wee hours five months after my grandfather died.

    I’m now a grandmother myself and am mindful of creating some happy memories for the twins… while making sure they also have memories of their still lively great-grandparents (mom turns 76 in Nov, dad turns 79 in Sep.)

    Peace be with you.

  58. sheryl says:

    star-shaped molasses cookies with thin, hard frosting on top. she hid them before christmas in a box under the bed & we kids thought we were so sneaky for finding them. later found out she knew all along…

  59. mezzrow says:

    pecans cooked in a cast iron skillet with butter and sugar, fresh biscuits with butter and syrup for breakfast, buttermilk fried chicken, and lane cake for Thanksgiving and Christmas – it’s an Alabama thing. The only time she’d allow booze in the house (for the cake.) A guilty pleasure as a kid.

  60. Major John says:

    Jeff, keep a bowl of butterscotches around the living room during holidays and be sure to tell Satch why you are doing so…

    My kids still refer to “Gram treats”, tho’ she has been gone for almost 4 years now.

  61. Bill D. Cat says:

    Unbelievably sweet plum jam , nanimo bars , and fond memories . This hits close for me as well , sad for your loss Jeff .

  62. RTO Trainer says:

    Offering a prayer for a friend’s loss and thanks for the life of what must have been a wonderful woman.

  63. baldilocks says:

    I’m sorry Jeff and I feel your loss. For a part of my childhood, I was raised by my great-uncle (RIP) and my great-aunt–another tough old bird (86) with plastic covered furniture. (I know better than suggest change.)

    Remember that she had a good life and that you are a part of what made it so.

  64. Sincerely sorry for your loss Jeff.

  65. Michael says:

    So sorry, Jeff

  66. baldilocks says:

    Going on Without Them…

    Christiana Hendrix, wife of Cold Fury’s Mike Hendrix, died Friday as a result traffic accident; and Jeff Goldstein’s grandmother died today after living a very long life….

  67. Vladimir says:

    Jeff, I’m so sorry for your loss.

  68. John the Baptist says:

    Prayers for you and yours, and my deepest sympathies. We lost the only grandmother I ever really knew last year; she was 91, and like one poster mentioned earlier, went to “take care of them old people” at the local nursing home until her mind started to go about five years ago. Most of those folks were 10-20 years her junior.

    She was from another time, born and grew up on a farm in east Alabama about 20 miles from the nearest paved road, married at 15, three daughters, husband killed by the KKK in 1941 (nope, he was white – long, very Southern story), worked six days a week at the local mill until she turned 70. Kindest, most decent and loving person I ever knew, never once ever saw her show any anger nor speak ill of anyone. Her cooking was old, rural Southern at it’s best, and I would give anything to have her biscuits and cheese grits one more time.

    Death, where is thy sting? It’s for the living bearing the memory of the most dearly departed.

  69. […] that’s not the only sad news to report today. Jeff Goldstein’s grandmother passed away earlier this afternoon. My condolences to Jeff and his family. He too will be in my thoughts and […]

  70. Muslihoon says:

    My condolences to you and yours. May your grandmother be always enshrined in the memories of those who love her.

  71. Karl says:

    Add my condolences to the list. One of my favorite music bloggers just lost his grandfather at a similar age. And not too long ago, one of my college friends lost a grandmother at a similar age. It may be somewhat comforting that they lived long lives, but all are missed.

    tw: fails clearer. Pretty much.

  72. Karl says:

    Oh, and my grandma was big with the Dobish torte cakes and Frango mints at the holidays.

    tw: solemnly Desiderio. Freakish.

  73. MayBee says:

    It’s hard to lose someone who loves you so much. God Bless you and her, Jeff.

  74. wishbone says:

    Condolences, Jeff. Mu paternal grandmother passed last year at 94. My maternal ten years ago.

    The latter’s house was “home.” I sure hope my kids’ kids think of my place the same way someday.

    And to all the culinary legends above I add: Egg custard pie. The combined sugar rush and fat high rivals any narcotic. So the armadillo says, anyway.

  75. JD says:

    Frango mints, yum.

  76. friend says:

    Its nice to sit back from the computer and all of life’s craziness to think of all the simple happiness grandma brought to my life. I miss them. Our warmest thoughts go out to you and yours.

  77. badanov says:

    Condolences, Jeff.

  78. cthulhu says:

    Expected or not, such a loss is never anticipated. No matter how old they are, or how old you are, they are the ones that caught you at the bottom of the slide and gave you cookies on those special times you spent together….and did butterscotch when the rest of the world forgot.

    I can well understand your situation — my grandfather passed away some years ago, and I still think of him frequently. My deepest sympathies to you and your family for your loss.

    Cling tightly to your kin, for when they’re gone you’ll miss them so.

  79. Cybrludite says:

    My condolances, Jeff.

  80. Rick Moran says:

    Death of a grandmother — any grandmother, I suppose, though you’ll forgive me for making this about me — is one step closer to the death of butterscotch…”

    Ain’t it the truth. Hersheys makes a butterscotch topping for ice cream – or at least they used to. I’m running low and haven’t seen it at the store recently. I wonder why something so good would simply fade into obscurity?

    My condolences on the loss of your grandmother.

  81. Dan Collins says:

    Caramel: the choice of a new generation.

  82. slackjawedyokel says:

    Sweet tea, black-eyed peas, the best cornbread in south Alabama, and a never-ending supply of stories about the family — most would bore me to tears, but others were like epic poems. God, I wish I could remember them all now that I’m a grandfather!

    My condolences, Jeff.

  83. […] Notice [updated]  |  Home  |   July 24, 2007 For Ric […]

  84. TheGeezer says:

    Condolences for you and the family, Jeff.

  85. wheels says:

    My condolences, Jeff. One grandmother I never met. The other emigrated from England to Australia at the age of 75, then returned to England every few years “to die.” When she was 95, she finally did.

  86. TaiChiWawa says:

    May our sorrow resolve itself into wisdom and mercy in honor of the lives whose loss we mourn.

  87. […] allowed me to guest-blog (and thereby poach some of his numerous readers) on Protein Widsom, has lost his grandmother. Jeff’s been taking a beating this year on a number of fronts (most notably having his wife […]

  88. Merovign says:

    Nobody can ever know “what to say” because there isn’t any such thing.

    All I can say is everybody grab some butterscotch candies and remember your grandmothers… and if they’re still around, go take them out to dinner sometime, you ungrateful ingrates! :)

    WRT Mike’s loss, there are no words. No two people can be closer, save a parent and child, and no loss can sting more.

  89. Aw, crap. I’m so sorry, Jeff. I have fond memories of both my Grandma’s. I’m grateful they lived long enough for me to get to know and remember them.

    Losing Christiana has hit all of her family and friends pretty hard, but for Mike … she was his world. I can’t imagine the pain and grief he’s feeling. I think it does help to express our condolences, though, it helps soothe our grief to let each other know we care. And I want to thank you, Jeff, and Dan, and it seems just about everyone else in the whole blogosphere for the overwhelming support we’ve received. God bless all of you good people.

    And God bless and keep my friend Chrissy, and Grandma wisdom, too.

  90. memomachine says:

    Hmmm.

    @ Jeff G.

    I’m really sorry to hear about this.

    My grandmother passed away years ago when I was much younger. Whoever said that time heals all wounds was a jackass. They don’t heal, they just scab over.

    Yeah I still miss her. Hope you’re doing ok.

  91. SGT Ted says:

    My Heartfelt condolences and good wishes to you and your family, Jeff.

  92. Themistocles says:

    Grandmothers are special in a way that’s impossible to describe when they go. Almost feels like it should be the lead item on the news.

    Condolences Jeff.

  93. So sorry for your loss Jeff, it’s always hard to lose the bedrock of the family. My paternal grandmother died when I was 8 or 9, I barely remember her. She was a nice, old-fashioned lady who was of the opinion that “children should be seen and not heard”. I remember always being a little in fear of her. My maternal grandmother is still alive, and I just saw her last week for the afternoon, after a very long time (grandparents live in Pennsylvania, I live in Texas). She was just as I remember her, just with a few more wrinkles and the addition of a cane, which she would “forget” to use. My memories were of good Pennsylvania Dutch food, pork and saurkraut, and at Christmas her special cream cheese cookies. Sigh…

  94. […] Jeff Goldstein has lost his grandmother. […]

  95. […] Some Sad News Filed under: Current Events — eddiebear @ 10:33 pm Jeff Goldstein, wo is having to deal with other nuisances, just found out his grandmother passed away. […]

  96. serr8d says:

    Condolences on your loss, Jeff.

    As one who was raised, mostly, by grandparents, I know that those from that Older Generation passed along knowledge and wisdom gleaned from their grandparents, and we will have to pass along that as we can, in our time.

    If we are fortunate enough to earn the title ‘grandparent’…

  97. David R. Block says:

    Condolences to you and Mike both.

    Now if minor matters such as getting a password from the registration system would cure themselves….

  98. Jeff,
    You are so lucky to have had her so long. I lost my mom 1.5 yrs ago, and my daughters were only 5 and 7 at the time. They saw her every day. And I was pregnant with my son at the time who she never met. I don’t mean to make this about me (who am i?) but I wish my grandparents had gone first so they didn’t have to lose their daughter. They are now 88 and 96- I hope I don’t live that long. When people complain about their moms (women do that a lot) I could smack them hard. God Bless you in your time of mourning.
    turing words: famine huddle. That is what the family feels like when one dies.

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