March 6, 2007

Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance, abridged 29

Those wishing to assert themselves in life’s fast lane without fear that an occasional fierce wind gust might muss their locks would be well advised to don a hairnet and a custom-fitted helmet—both of which are readily available from fine retailers in either of the two Americas.

Posted by Jeff G. @ 10:20pm
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Comments (22)

  1. Hmmm.  I guess occasional fierce wind gust is a pretty good objective correlative for Coulter.

  2. would be well advised to don a hairnet and a custom-fitted helmet—both of which are readily available from fine retailers in either of the two Americas.

    One is still faced with the moral dilemma of which helmet to choose – the (nanny)state approved and DOT-certified legal model, or the non-DOT-certified, illegal, but quintessentially Reich-wing novelty helmet favored by “outlaw bikers”.

    Hairnets are de rigeur for either type, of course.

  3. As an aside, an excellent focus for your transcendental meditation is a quote from the original zen motorcycle movie, The Wild Angels,

    We wanna be free! We wanna be free to do what we wanna do. We wanna be free to ride. We wanna be free to ride our machines without being hassled by The Man! … And we wanna get loaded. And we wanna have a good time. And that’s what we are gonna do. We are gonna have a good time… We are gonna have a party.

    It’s really the best way to have Peter Fonda inside you – unless you’re a faggot, that is.

  4. Yeah, but the stuff available to rich leeches who channel dead babies is so much better than the stuff available to those of us that actually contribute positively to the economy.

  5. hair, schmair.

    I want something to keep the damn bugs out of my teeth.

  6. I’m a Dapper Dan man myself.

  7. I like something that will keep my face from getting scraped off if I hit the ground.

  8. Those wishing to assert themselves in life’s fast lane without fear that an occasional fierce wind gust wind will muss their locks would be well advised to don a hairnet and a custom-fitted helmet

    Or just shave the damned melon fuzz clean off.

  9. Because I like to keep my skin, I’m in the market for some of these this season… http://www.motorcycle-superstore.com/item.aspx?style=15660&department=113&division=1# or these…

    http://www.motorcycle-superstore.com/item.aspx?style=20024&department=113&division=1# … which may cause some to toss off the “f” word while I ride in certain neighborhoods.

    And the brain case/helmet is a no brainer. 

    This one is fun…

    http://www.ridenowonline.com/product_detail.aspx?item_guid=c5acb46b-1ec3-40c9-b8a5-508c91c9c305

  10. I’m in the market for a being in the market for something.

  11. What a dilemma, the Nancy State insists on a helmet, ergo sum:

    wearing a helmet (net or sans hair net) = faggot pussy whipped mamas boy

    mussed hair = pussy whipped mamas boy (while undoubtedly a faggot)but looking sharp

    helmet head (hair) = as above, you faggot

    So in summation, anyone who gets on a bike is a faggot. No escape guys, but that Ann Coulter is one foxy biker bitch.

  12. Shaved head so no mussed hair to worry about, but at 70 I can’t see a damn thing in the wind, so full face helmet it is.  Tough getting old.  I dont remember this problem 20 years ago.

  13. uh, 70mph I mean.  I hope I am still exceeding the speed limit on my Harley when I am 70 years old.  Still a long way away though.

  14. I had a Valkyrie for 7 years. It gave me immense pleasure. Like a Bentley on two wheels. You can sit straight up at 130 mph indicated, but the faceshield does then squash your nose.

    Helmet hair is a terrible affliction. But what if your ears stick out like the handles on a cheap trophy? I am thinking here of the Heir to the Throne.

    In these circumstances, a full-face helmet is a positive boon.

    I considered a Harley but my wife said I looked like an egg perched on a child’s bicycle.

    Cruel creatures, women, but not without a certain animal cunning. She was aware that the brakes on a Harley are as effective as bromide in a soldier’s tea.

  15. In these circumstances, a full-face helmet is a positive boon.

    Were he not an heir to the throne, a full-face helmet would have been necessary for his love life.

  16. Apparently he’s hung like a mule.

  17. Aauuummmmmmm…MY HAIR!

  18. I wonder if John Edwards rides a motorbike?

  19. Furriskey,

    Ah one more reason to like you.  Can’t figure out why in the world you would get rid of a Valk though.  They’ll get mine when they pry if from my cold, dead…um…something.

  20. The best dating site offer free online dating personals internet dating service and also you can exchange your idea’s there.

  21. Nanny state or not, a DOT approved motorcycle helmet is a great choice to protect the body’s most important organ.

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