So Descartes walks into a laundromat with a load of soiled linen (bedding, some whites), whereupon he is approached almost immediately by a beautiful, doe-eyed young woman who explains to him that the change machine is busted. “You wouldn’t happen to have any spare quarters you could part with, would you?” she asks, lowering her eyes and offering up a shy smile. “I have bills.”
To which Descartes, a bit flustered—and aware of the exact change he has in his pockets—replies, “Unfortunately, my dear lady, I think not.”
And *poof*! He disappears.
Metaphysical humor?
God save us.
– So she has bills…. everybody has bills… No reason Desi should pick up the tab on her laundry…Now if she’d shown a bit of leg….
TW: “The thinking mind thinks, and having thought, moveson dot arrrrrggghhhh”
I always heard that one as: “Descarte is sitting in a tavern and closing time rolls around. The barkeeper says ‘Last call…Anything for you sir?’ Descartes replies, “I think not’ and disappears in a puff.”
Mine has a doe-eyed chick and soiled linen. But go with whatever makes you happy.
non cogito, ergo poof?
Harsh, dude.
Where’s the horse? The horse is supposed to go poof before Descartes.
Next up, the Travel Channel’s World Poker Tour with Blaise Pascal at the final table.
On that note, I think I’ll go have a fig NEWTON and wash it down with some EULER and water.
Needs more robot daughter.
That’s sort of like the one about the Polack, the Italian, and the Greek. Well, except there’s no bending over.
– The Liberal version would be a “soiled chic” with “doe-eyed Lenin”….
TW: …”Who’s blog is goin’ south fast…. where?
Descartes, Descartes? Sounds French. Did he play for LSU?
Descartes, Descartes? Sounds French. Did he play for LSU?
Yes, he played Left Out.
He got cut because every time he went out for a pass, by the time he figured out what the ordered pair where he was supposed to catch the ball was, the QB had been sacked.
Ok, that was a long way to go for that one.
Everyone puts Descartes before the horse sometime. Especially if humor is involved.
Descartes skeleton walks into a pub;
He orders a pint and a mop.
Wait a minute. If not thinking is enough to make you cease to exist, why is Alex Baldwin still here?
Jay – You have to start out in possesion of a working brain in order for the principle to apply…..
TW (existential version): “If Descartes doesn’t think about walking into a laundromat does that mean his dirty laundry doesn’t exist?
So, the Dalai Lama walks up to a hotdog stand and says, “Make me one with everything.”
Oh, yeah. The first time I heard that Descartes joke–set on an airplane, by the way–the guy flubbed the punch line into “‘…no, I don’t think so’ and disappeared.”
Good thing we’d been doing hits on the 6’ water bong. To this day, I’m not sure that he knows we were laughing at him rather than the joke.
The square root of negative one walks into a club and spots a beautiful integer sitting at the bar. He takes a stool beside her and says, “Say baby, can I buy you a drink?” She replies, “Get real!”
No I don’t own a pocket protector. Why do you ask?
And to think this story could’ve had a happy ending.
You are sick, sick people. Not that that’s wrong, mind you.
Descartes is a poofter, eh?
The version I heard (similar to Major John’s version) had Descartes in a bar getting drunk. The bartender cuts him off, informing him, “I think you’ve had enough,” to which Descartes replies, “I think not.”
I like your version better.
non cogito, ergo poof?
Nope. He had a Des job.
First time I encountered this joke was while co-editing my college’s conservative newspaper. On occasion, we used to heckle hostile letters to the editor by interspersing our own comments in brackets, sort of an early print-fisking.
Thus a particularly vituperative letter (which the author expressed the certainty that we would not print) appeared in our pages containing the following exchange:
“Is this conducive to meaningful discourse? I think not! [Ed. note: And poof, she disappeared!]”
Jeff’s version wins by virtue of the doe-eyed chick…
Three Indian squaws were due on the same day. The wise old medicine man put the first squaw on a deer hide, the second one on a bear hide, and the third one on a hippopotomus hide (don’t ask).
The first one had a boy, the second one had a boy, and the third one had twin boys.
The moral of the story? The squaw of the hippopotomus is equal to the sons of the other two hides.
Spamword, “twenty,” as in, I should get twenty lashes for that.
I know a nerd who works across the hall from me who’s gonna love that one.
My Social Philosophy class, way back, covered Alvaro D’Ors before Rene. Good thing to, or there would have been trouble…
Frankly, I think it was funnier in the original Latin.
The way I heard it, he didn’t vanish in a mere poof! It was substantially more energetic than that. And the punchline was Non cogito, ergo boom.