… find out victim was a spider…
Sydney (AFP) – Piercing screaming and shouts of “I’m going to kill you” prompted Australian police to rush to a Sydney home at 2am, only to find an embarrassed man and a large spider.
New South Wales’s police said officers raced to the apartment in the harbourside suburb of Wollstonecraft last Saturday after reports of a violent domestic dispute between a man and a woman.
Neighbours reported a woman screaming hysterically, a man yelling “I’m going to kill you, you’re dead! Die, Die” and sounds of furniture being tossed around.
“Numerous police cars responded to the address and began banging on the door,” Harbourside Local Area Command said on their Facebook page.
A man aged in his 30s, out of breath and flushed, came to the door and was immediately asked where his wife or girlfriend was.
“Umm, I don’t have one,” he answered. […]
Pressed about the threats to kill, the man became sheepish and even apologetic as it emerged what had caused the ruckus.
“It was a spider, a really big one!!,” he said, admitting he was chasing the large arachnid around his apartment with a can of insect spray.
Asked about the woman screaming, he replied: “Yeah, sorry, that was me, I really hate spiders.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3gok0k3mcw
spiders should be itsy bitsy like in the song
and of a congenial disposition
I don’t believe this story is authentic as there was nothing in it about Kylie Minogue, crockydiles. shremp on thuh bobbie, or cork hats.
It rings false Bruce!
Well, IIRC, Australia has some rather deadly spiders but still….
The spydah broke a bottle and he ‘eld up the jagged edges and grinned as he said “C’mon bruce” and, I said, ” Ladies first bruce!” right back to ‘im. I says ” Bring that sheila’s bottle over heah so’s I can make you eat it, Bruce.” So he started gettin’ all Choppah Reed on me right? ” he’s like “Harden up and take a swing ya POHM!” Well I neveh fight a bloke sober so I had me a lagah a’ fouh and I went ovah theah and I did ‘im in proper cold, tore off his gob and flung it int he billabong. And I were noisy about it. So the police ‘edda come rou’ an’ I showed ’em the Spydah and his bottle and they said ” Good on ya Brucie,” and my back was petted sweet.
Probably a scary but harmless Huntsman. Has anyone seen the former U.S. ambassador to China lately?
Every other critter in Australia can kill you just by looking at you. I’m surprised anything can live there.
“Has anyone seen the former U.S. ambassador to China lately? ”
He likes to make his lair in leather jackets.
…and now for something completely different:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_f_p0CgPeyA
Australian Spiders can bite a photo and as many as all the people in that photo will catch on fire no matter how far away from the photo they are. Even the dead have been known to catch fire in their graves or a dingo’s belly.
Australian spiders can bite someone, and their grandparents die before the person bitten was born so that the bite victim is entirely erased from time.
Light CAN escape from a black hole if the black hole has been bitten by an Australian spider but the light might catch on fire later.
The Australian aac’aac spider has been seen to shoot down planes from 275 miles away or sometimes they set the plane on fire by biting a photograph of it.
The comet that wiped out the dinosaurs was a tiny 2nd moon that was bitten by an australian spider from the future, curious what it would taste like if it were permitted to survive into the future, which it was not.
The ice age ended when an australian spider bit a picture of a forest it saw near a glacier that looked too smug for its own good.
The big bang is believed to have been caused by an australian spider biting another australian spider just to see what would happen.
Our sun will die in 5 billion years as the venom of an australian spider works its way through a photo-copy of an artist’s rendition of the sun’s core.
Mankind exists because the australian spiders enjoy toying with them, for now.
Starbuck’s decision not to celebrate the glory of the Australian Spider with a “lager beer latte” concerns the Australian spiders greatly and may require some gentle nudging of the free market to correct. 75% casualties are deemed acceptable in pursuit of this policy.
[…] Darleen Click on Protein Wisdom: Meanwhile, Aussie police rush to scene of killing … […]
Maybe so, but an Australian spider once bit a photograph of Chuck Norris and died instantly.
brown recluse bite
don’t want
“Maybe so, but an Australian spider once bit a photograph of Chuck Norris and died instantly.”
The Australian spider tried to bite the photo but at the last possible instant it round house kicked him in the face turning him into a bonzer 8 legged plamza . And in that dreadful universe-shaking moment all scientists everywhere suddenly realized Pluto was not a planet. Worse, they began to suspect Triceratops was merely a juvenile form of Chasmosaurus. The “planet” grew “warmer” as ice built up in Antarctica. The ensuing chaos allowed John “Effin’ Jenjiss KAWwnnn” Kerry to leave his ketchup plantation and become US Secretary of State, confirming an awful trend of that office being almost as dubious an honor as winning a Nobel Peace Prize.
Alas, poor Boris!
He slew him.
Where be your songs now?
gone the way of whiskey man and the entwhistles
Full disclosure: “plamza” is not a real Australian slang word.
I thought it was a “Wayne’s World” concoction consisting of a “babe-za” where the “babe” in question was an “outed” “undercover” CIA “agent.”
…with variant spelling.
australian spiders are why kangaroos hop everywheres this is a true fact cause of the natural selections what happened (science)
spiders and spider webs
Climate Change and The TPP Agenda
http://theconservativetreehouse.com/2015/11/29/the-existential-threat-if-you-think-trump-is-under-attack-now-you-aint-seen-nothing-yet/
gotta luv the trump
Hey, Shelob was a Australian spider, so I don’ blame anyone for being scared witless and/or shitless by them.
Personally, I keep a pack of hobbits armed with letter openers and little bottles of glowing elf piss on the premises at all times. Just in case they decide to come here to do the jobs american spiders won’t do.
Elves not piss sir. They tinkle. And sometimes they mediocre poop cookies.
Or poop mediocre cookies.
Are they made with real mediocrity?
Y’know, I have heard that elvish farts smell of elderberries.
Yes the mediocrity is hand extracted from hipsters lured into vintage novelty appliance stalls at flea markets.
The hipster leans in to look at the Polaroid Mickey Mouse Air Popper and YEEOWTCH! Then the hipster leans in AGAIN to look at the Polaroid Mickey Mouse Air Popper and YEEOWTCH! After six or so YEEOWTCHs the woozy hipster, no longer as rich in surplus medicority, is given a hot cup from the Keurig machine and a bolo-tie and shoved out into the marketplace, hopefully to die or buy a painted steel sign for the bar he is building at home…where he rents.
As long as it’s organic. And I’m glad they harvest it from free-range hipsters.
All the best cowboys cut elvish farts.
Mammas, don’t let your babies grow up to be elves.
that cis-speciesism! I thought this was a safe place for transspeciesites*
waah! where’s my pacifier?
*the s is silent
I wish the O would be silent.
You think he’s bad now, wait until he goes the full Carter.
O will spend the first six years of his ex-presidency in denial, followed by attempts to get invited into a future presidential campaign (with, perhaps, a high-ranking Cabinet post or SCOTUS appointment as his price to hop onboard).
Then will come anger and depression. But never acceptance.
Ahhh, McGehee…I see that you’re an optimist.