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If lefty reviewers can pan American Sniper without first seeing it…

… then clearly I can offer a thumbnail of Obama’s SOTU without having watched it. So, here’t goes: “It doesn’t matter that the latest Congressional elections went to the GOP, giving them the Senate and expanding their representation in both the House and in every conceivable local political measurable. The fact is, I won the presidency. Which under my reading makes me a king of sorts.

“Therefore, I’m going to do as I please, and those of you who dared vote to bring in more obstructionist Republican politicians — some of them teabaggers — to quell my lameduck aspirations, well, you can all sod off. You matter not a jot. Or a tittle. I’m in the last stages of a societal remake, and I’ll be damned if some teary orange bitch like John Boehner is going to stop me, much less a turkey-necked opportunist like Mitch McConnell.

“Besides. You’re probably all racists, anyway — and American policy can’t be driven by racism. That’s not who we are. So, ipso facto, you people can’t be allowed to drive policy.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, my pen, my phone, and I will be out banging balls at the range until it’s time for me to veto something, or it’s time for me to dismiss the next Islamist attack as not at all indicative of Islam. But make no mistake: if and when the GOP does what I want, when I want it, I’m happy to work with them. On their efforts to validate me. Because me.”

Close enough?

22 Replies to “If lefty reviewers can pan American Sniper without first seeing it…”

  1. Shermlaw says:

    Last night, my lovely spouse asked if I were going to watch the SOTU. I said, “no, I have an advance copy.”

    Lies, from “My fellow Americans ” to “Thank you.”

  2. Darleen says:

    I didn’t watch it either

    I didn’t want to have to replace my flatscreen after throwing a rock through it …

  3. Darleen says:

    From the excerpts I’ve heard this morning, The One is our first President Troll.

  4. bgbear says:

    Tomorrow, bad presidents, and the rich people who love them

  5. bgbear says:

    Stepford bread bags wearing pig farmer

    The amount of hatred of women that comes from the left can still surprise me and I do mean for all women. It is just safe for them to focus their fury on conservative women.

  6. McGehee says:

    Troll? If only. “Dawn take you all, and to stone with you!”

  7. TaiChiWawa says:

    “Look at how great everything is since I took office!”

  8. Ernst Schreiber says:

    I’m surprised he’s not going to try to run for a third term.

    Maybe Michelle will do it for him?

  9. McGehee says:

    ValJar has been his brain all along, not K’mshel.

  10. epador says:

    You could just be psychic.

  11. -Jeff is psychic about the psycho.

    -That’s Lady Michbeth to you, McGehee.

    -Ernst: Obama will have his third term if Jeb or Mitt wins – Revolution Part III: Consolidation.

  12. dicentra says:

    Nailed it.

    Only for real; not like the meme.

  13. palaeomerus says:

    “That’s Lady Michbeth to you, McGehee.”

    Out, damned TEA PARTY SHIT! Out, I say!—One, two. Why, then, ’tis LONG PAST THE time to do ‘t. Hell is murky. The Moon waxes Orange o’r tree and stone and mist.

  14. McGehee says:

    I can’t deal with Powerline since they’ve been using Facebook for comments.

    I don’t remember the name of the offsite comment engine I first used for blogoSFERICS back in ’02, but if it still existed now exactly as it did then, it would be better than Facebook.

  15. Palaeo-Shakespeare!

  16. dicentra says:

    Anything would be better than Facebook.

    No HTML, no paragraph breaks (unless you’re crafty), and a gawdawful color scheme.

  17. dicentra says:

    Speaking of Facebook: “Together we can ‘Like’ the world”, a lesson in philanthropy.

  18. dicentra says:

    OK, speaking some more of Facebook, a cousin shared this animation yesterday and it’s genuinely funny. It’s also better with the sound off.

    Very much in the spirit of Wile E. Coyote.

  19. McGehee says:

    Third-party comment systems circa 2002 didn’t do HTML either. They barely did ordinary text.

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