May 23, 2014

In which I posit a solution to Democratic Senator’s sudden aversion to the Washington Redskins’ team name

I won’t reprise my linguistic argument  here– short version:  intentionalism! — to defend the name “Redskins,” initially meant as a honorarium for a Native American with whom the team’s founder was friendly, and now, a conventional referent to a DC football team, not to native Americans either in specifically or in the aggregate.  Because honestly, the current furor is just more PC bullshit meant to show private industry that politicians (and former fake wrestlers-turned politicians-turned talk show hosts) can wield enormous power when they fall back on cheap grace.

So I have a proposal to settle this matter, one that differs from Mark Levin’s suggestion that the 50 Democrat Senators, should they wish to change the team name, pony up a few billion dollars and try to buy it off of Daniel Snyder, after which they can change the name to whatever they like.

Instead, I say Daniel Snyder grants the wishes of the Democratic Senators, and in so doing, pays special homage to the Senate Majority leader Harry Reid by naming the team the “Washington Light Skinned blacks who don’t speak with a negro dialect unless they want to.”  Or if that’s too unwieldy, maybe follow Joe Bidens lead and call the team the “Washington Clean and articulate mostly black men.”

And when Snyder delivers the press conference announcing the team’s name change, he should make sure he gives the proper attribution.  Because if these Senators and former Senators feel they have a right to get involved in the affairs of a private entity that is breaking no laws, it’s unlikely they’ll stop with just the Redskins.  Which is not what this is about at all. Instead, it’s about the usurpation of language and meaning by a politically motivated consensus, one that happens when we surrender linguistic coherence to the left’s insipid post structuralist claims.

Which fight, as I continue to wage it, turns out isn’t fundamentally unserious or pseudo-intellectual.  But then, you already knew that.

So shame them the hell back under their rocks before they evolve in such a way that they can withstand reality’s harshest light.

Posted by Jeff G. @ 12:31pm

Comments (21)

  1. I’m still more a fan of “Washington Overlords”.

    Short. Succinct. To the point.

  2. I still gotta go with Washington Engines, since I think it can satisfy the larger collection of both the teams’ detractors as well as its fans.

  3. I still prefer the Washington Red Inks. They only have to rearrange a couple of letters.

  4. Washington Koch Brothers.

  5. Greenbacks

    or Bucks

    for teh outrage

  6. Washington Nazgul?
    Washington Goodthinks?

  7. In honor of Congress

    Washington Whores

  8. To really drive the point home: “your add here” on the helmets and back of the jerseys

  9. Come on, guys; they have to be the Washington Kronies. The mascots and merchandising are already halfway there.

  10. They could always honor the late Senator-Kleagle Robert Byrd and name the team the Washington White Niggers… it’s got a certain alliterative charm, after all.

  11. The Shithole Redskins. Better to change the most offensive part of the name.

  12. the baracky redskins

  13. The Washington Overreach
    The Washington Tax ‘n Spenders
    The Washington Narcissists
    The Washington Plunderers

  14. The Washington Elizabeth Warrens.

  15. The Washington Gutsquirts. Because I don’t think “sharts” would catch on.

  16. Pingback: From Around the Blogroll | The First Street Journal.

  17. Washington Bullets is not being used.

  18. I agree it is the Washington part that is offensive.

    We could remove any racial element, even a positive one in this case if you want, and call them the Redskin Rash.

  19. The Washington Red Menacers. With Marx, Engels, Lenin, Stalin, Mao and Obama as honorary and glorious Team Captains.

  20. I, like many other baseball fans, have had occasion to wonder why Espn insists the nation take especial cognizance of the Red Sox, but witnessing their extended melt down, it seems that maybe a prejudicial love for their localish team wasn’t behind it after all.