Blogging made easy, 2
Given: when a New York Governor says, in a fairly straightforward and exceedingly difficult to misinterpret manner, that those citizens of his state who don’t believe in abortion on demand, gay marriage as an institution, or a ruler’s diktat to change the Second Amendment without going through the Constitutional process, have no business being New Yorkers, and aren’t, in effect, actual New Yorkers, that Governor — himself part of a New York aristocracy — is decreeing that his kingdom has certain standards, and citizens who refuse to adhere to those standards fall into a second class category, worthy of either excommunication or a willing egress from the pure Utopian goodness that the Governor demands be upheld. That is, he wishes to purge New York of the human garbage that keeps blocking the Heaven on earth that comes from same sex marriage, weapons that are altered cosmetically to look like muskets, and the ability to avoid the punishment of giving birth to the child you find in your womb after having gotten drunk on Appletinis and then gone home and gotten banged by some low-level financial planner who convinced you he was a high-level stock broker.
Resolved: conservatives, classical liberals, Reagan Democrats, and some libertarians should flee New York and wait for it to devolve back into the late 60s-70s crime-ridden, trash-encrusted, eyesore of a socialist hellhole it once again aspires to become. Because frankly, I miss the gritty crime movies — the French Connection, Death Wish, The Seven-Ups, half of all blaxploitation flicks, bits of the Exorcist, etc., — that captured the decrepitude of New York in that era. And I’m looking to be pleased.
I understand that New Yorkers are proud. But that just means that when their scion of a Governor lets it be known that nearly half of all prideful New Yorkers aren’t authentic New Yorkers and don’t stand for what New York stands for, those New Yorkers should call his bluff and take their tax monies and productivity elsewhere. Let New York become the wannabe cosmopolitan Potemkin city it so longs to be, even as its faddish flirtation with the Detroit Diet turns it into one giant episode of Hardcore Pawn.
And then when both coastal outposts of liberalism go broke and become crime ridden, we can send in Snake Plissken to clean shit up, and maybe as a result have access to some affordable beach property — because the first rule of our new cleansing would be that Hollywood and Broadway be relocated to 8 Mile and East LA.
update: related (h/t Darleen)