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I get email

This time, from “Marcus Brandon for Congress.” First, let me say this: I have no idea who Marcus Brandon is, save for the emails that I get from him that make their way into my inbox.

But unlike the signed garbage that comes from activists for the Obama agenda and allow no direct replies, Mr Brandon’s email seems to come from Mr Brandon, not from some generic, propaganda clearing house.

Writes Mr Brandon for Congress:

Dear Friends,

Our country is in mourning once again as its citizens came under attack on Monday. Unfortunately, with each instance of mass gun violence, our capacity for shock dwindles. And as the list of tragedies continues to grow, the American people must demonstrate that our patience has run out. Change is imperative.

Stand with me now and sign this Moveon.org petition in order to let our leaders know that gun control must be made a priority. We can honor the victims of these tragedies with more than just prayers and vigils; we can do it with action.

I believe we need tougher gun regulation immediately. More extensive background checks are necessary to prevent guns from falling into the hands of those with sinister intentions or serious mental illness. Those afflicted with mental illnesses should have access to easy, affordable treatment. Serious mental issues should not be ignored or stigmatized. Instead, they must be dealt with in earnest.

Also, we must establish bans on high-capacity magazines and powerful automatic weapons. There is utterly no reason any person should be equipped with these tools of destruction.

When I become a U.S. Congressman, I will aggressively pursue these measures. The D.C. establishment has had plenty of time to resolve these issues, yet failed. This is why I am needed in Washington--to bring a fresh, progressive perspective to the problems that face this country.

Again, please sign this petition to let our leaders in Congress know, enough is enough and that we need strong gun control legislation now.

Marcus

My reply:

Dear Mr Brandon:

So you wish to ban shotguns? Or is it armed security guards you'd like to see banned?

Because it was with a shotgun and the weapons taken from armed security guards that the nut job who opened fire at a government facility was able to complete his turkey shoot.

That is, until an AR-15 -- the evil assault weapon that it is, and the tool of destruction with which no one should ever need be equipped -- stopped him.

Good thing Dianne Feinstein didn't get her way there, huh?

Perhaps instead of ghoulishly barnacling yourself to the corpses of the dead and trotting out the same tired emotional appeals meant to convince us to surrender our sovereignty and our natural rights to a government that couldn't protect its own facility in a district that already has the strictest gun control laws in the nation, you can do something useful. To that end, I offer this litany of choices:

a) revisit the dangerous policy that keeps, say, Marines and the ammunition for their weapons apart
b) revisit the restrictive policy that disallows private citizens to carry sidearms for their own protection against predators
or
c) just sit down, shut up, and stop making such an asshole out of yourself. If you want change, fine: but start with the anti-gun policies that essentially advertise these kill zones. Otherwise, your pie hole should cease expelling noises that your brain clearly hasn't yet completely comprehended.

Regards,
Jeff Goldstein

37 Replies to “I get email”

  1. Blitz says:

    OUCH!! I’d love to say that’s gonna leave a mark, but we all know these people are so thick headed it would take an AR just to leave a bruise.

  2. Tomblvd says:

    Dear Mr. Brandon;

    You say:

    “More extensive background checks are necessary”

    ‘More extensive’ than getting a “secret” clearance from the Federal Government? How ’bouts we start there, hmmmm?

    “prevent guns from falling into the hands of those with sinister intentions”

    ‘How do you propose we discern those intentions? Unless you’ve come up with new mind reading technology, I’m not sure how you’re going to do that.

    “or serious mental illness. Those afflicted with mental illnesses should have access to easy, affordable treatment. ”

    To the best of my knowledge, most of the shooters had been or were currently under treatment. But without laws that allow doctors to involuntarily commit people they determine to be dangerous (a slippery slope, I’ll grant you), you cannot guarantee the mentally ill will get treatment, even if it’s free, with ice cream cones thrown in.

    “Also, we must establish bans on high-capacity magazines and powerful automatic weapons. ”

    Automatic weapons have been banned for decades, even “powerful ” ones.

    “This is why I am needed in Washington–to bring a fresh, progressive perspective to the problems that face this country. ”

    Make sure I get that pony I’ve been asking for.

    Warmest regards,
    Tom

  3. Pablo says:

    But without laws that allow doctors to involuntarily commit people…

    All you need is love The Government.

  4. bgbear says:

    Dear Marcus:

    Why do you have two first names?

    -bg

    p.s there is no shortage of progressives in DC, maybe they could use a dog catcher.

  5. charles w says:

    I want one of those automatic weapons Brandon wants banned. Oh wait, they already are?

  6. bgbear says:

    are automatic weapons the ones that kill people without anyone having to point it and pull the trigger?

  7. charles w says:

    bgbear, I think those are Glocks. That according to my democrat weapon identifier thingy.

  8. Blake says:

    Don’t forget that all guns require absolutely no practice for the average person to be able to hit a target at 5, hell, 500 yards.

    And since I brought up 500 yards, I want one of these.

  9. cranky-d says:

    That gun will make lefties pee their pants, Blake.

  10. Tomblvd says:

    But it does require at least a modicum of practice (and a spot on the NYC police force) to be able to miss targets at practically any range.

  11. Blake says:

    cranky, since lefties want to put me in jail for owning a gun, best they pee in their pants at the thought of me owning such a gun.

    Hmm, that’s a feature, isn’t it?

    Now I have to get one.

    I wonder if my wife will be okay missing a few mortgage payments…..

  12. happyfeet says:

    guns don’t “fall into people’s hands”

    it just never happens

    this person is clearly a momo

  13. newrouter says:

    oh noes momos

  14. cranky-d says:

    OT: I will likely start my new job on Monday*. For IT types, it’s in an agile environment, which means daily meetings. Ugh.

    I had to have a background check and take a drug test.

    I love fascist America.

    * depending on if they find my possibly missing pee and get the negative drug results

  15. newrouter says:

    bonne chance @ the cranky-d

  16. happyfeet says:

    congratulations new jobs are fun at first

  17. charles w says:

    Blake, can you get that fine rifle with a compass in the stock and a thing that tells time?

  18. Blake says:

    Congrats, Cranky.

    charles, from what I understand, the rifle can be changed from .308 Winchester to .338 Lapua by the owner, providing, of course, you put down the money for the extra barrel and bolt.

    Of course, buying .338 Lapua ammo is probably another mortgage payment.

  19. leigh says:

    Congrats, Cranky!

  20. geoffb says:

    Glad you found work Cranky-d.

  21. cranky-d says:

    Thanks, everyone. I hope it doesn’t turn out to be too painful.

    I haven’t had to be at work by 8am since 2001, and I haven’t had to be at work every day since then as well (I have worked from home for the last 6 years) so that part will be exciting as well.

  22. cranky-d says:

    Another awesome fact: the new employer maintains a “gun-free workplace.”

    I hope they don’t ask me what I think about that.

    Anyway, it’s a six month contract to hire gig. I already know what will happen at the end of it.

    No, I won’t be putting my “Coexist” bumper sticker on my car.

  23. geoffb says:

    Some info for you Cranky.

  24. Ernst Schreiber says:

    I want one of these [Sig Sauer Tactical 2 thingies*]

    That looks like it might come in handy if you needed to drop a mountain goat off of the ridge on the other side of the valley.

    *not that a manly man and lumberjack’s lumberjack like Blake would ever say “thingie”.

  25. Pablo says:

    Thirteen people, including a 3-year-old boy who suffered a gunshot wound to the head, were shot at a Chicago park in the Back of the Yards neighborhood Thursday night, authorities said.

    Ten adults and the 3-year-old were transported by Fire Department ambulances after the attack in the 1800 block of West 51st Street in the Back of the Yards neighborhood, said Fire Department Deputy District Chief James Mungovan at the scene.

    Chicago police were making no information about what happened public, except to say that the shooting appeared to be gang-related.

    If only there were a law that says everybody has to get a background check, and maybe one that says criminals can’t have guns.

  26. -Jeff: You should hire yourself out to write response letters – that was bloody beautiful.

    -As for Miss Brandon and people like him-her-it: we really need to separate ourselves from them, because, if we don’t, we’re going to have to eventually facilitate their meeting their Maker ahead of schedule.

  27. Blake says:

    Pablo, no, us manly men use terms like “doohickey,” not “thingie.”

  28. palaeomerus says:

    Fox & Friends just had a boys vs. girls obstacle course with Steve Dooey in his full dorkymugging weatherman MC regalia (think Bill Nye with more head swaying) . That’s the sign of a really stupid fucking show. Next they’ll have puppets giving kids nagging advice about personal hygiene and bullying.

  29. […] Please do take the time to click here and read the rest. […]

  30. McGehee says:

    If only there were a law that says everybody has to get a background check, and maybe one that says criminals can’t have guns.

    Oh, right. Next you’ll want a law against murdering someone in cold blood. KEEP YOUR GOVERNMENT OUT OF MY UTERUS!

  31. sdferr says:

    Change is imperative.

    I suppose Brandon assumes (as day follows night) that this bald statement is somehow useful, if not a mere tautology.

    Of course, for people who think — even if only occasionally or sporadically — I don’t believe it will have the salutary effect Brandon expects, but far more probably, the opposite effect — it certainly won’t endear him with people who trouble themselves to think even for a moment.

    Political change, and most especially change requiring or resulting in an underlying change at the most basic level of political order (as for instance, at the level determining who rules in a polity and who doesn’t rule), is always subject to the question: “Change for the worse, or change for the better?”

    Of course, it isn’t always the case that political change is free of necessity. Only think of the requirements of a nation under sudden attack from abroad, citizens slain and territorial control in jeopardy. Or under the onslaught of a storm the likes of Typhoon Usagi or Hurricane Katrina, say. At those times, indeed, something must be done.

    But for the most part, political change is fundamentally a matter of choice, of choosing the better and not the worse course of action, or of choosing to act or not act at all.

    So when a politician, or a budding politician, seeks to portray a matter of elective choice as a matter of necessity, look to your life: for he or she is about to steal something from you.

  32. McGehee says:

    Imperative? You mean this thing that happens spontaneously throughout time and space only happens because somebody tells it to? So Brandon is one of those Intelligent Design theocrats???????

  33. sdferr says:

    heh.

    Sometimes, I guess, following Machiavelli, it seems almost necessary to consider and talk about necessity. But for purposes of a peaceful and less dangerous life, it’s probably easier to leave necessity lay, or await that it simply rolls over us.

  34. Mueller says:

    cranky-d says September 19, 2013 at 9:06 pm
    Thanks, everyone. I hope it doesn’t turn out to be too painful.
    I haven’t had to be at work by 8am since 2001, and I haven’t had to be at work every day since then as well (I have worked from home for the last 6 years) so that part will be exciting as well.
    – See more at: https://proteinwisdom.com/?p=51018#comments

    Just don’t forget to wear pants.

  35. Drumwaster says:

    Another awesome fact: the new employer maintains a “gun-free workplace.”

    I would treat that like the old joke about carrying bombs on an airplane…

    “Well, if the odds of one bomb being smuggled aboard is a million to one, then all I have to do is smuggle my bomb in, because the odds of getting two bombs smuggled in has to be infinitesimal!”

  36. cranky-d says:

    Just don’t forget to wear pants.

    You mean I can’t just wear what I slept in?

    I quit.

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