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musings from a flooded Crackerado

Clearly, God wasn’t happy that the naive and presumptuous Visigoths used their mob siege powers to overtake and depose two sitting Democratic Senators, including the Senate President, for failing to represent them and for running their initial campaigns under false pretenses.

And by “God,” I of course me global climate change and all its accoutrements:  rain, wind, flash floods, hurricanes, heat waves, droughts, microbursts, heavy snowfall, very low temperatures, tsunamis, unusually mild weather, greenhouse gas canopies that overload us with oxygen, hail storms, lightning storms, wild fires, dam bursts, melting ice caps, significant global cooling, animal attacks caused by urban sprawl and a lack of food for natural predators, etc.

— Although one has to wonder why Boulder — a city enclosed in a bubble of Hippie liberalism and progressive activism — was among the cities hardest hit.

But I suppose ours is not to question His ways.  The Lord — and by that I of course means global climate change — works in mysterious ways.  Or else by gravity, with mountain runoff flooding whatever happens to be convenient.  Either way.

 

30 Replies to “musings from a flooded Crackerado”

  1. Shermlaw says:

    Although one has to wonder why Boulder — a city enclosed in a bubble of Hippie liberalism and progressive activism — was among the cities hardest hit.

    God taking a leak?

  2. McGehee says:

    They were supposed to build an ark. Not God’s fault they didn’t believe what they were hearing.

  3. dicentra says:

    Did burn scars figure in? Or were the fires elsewhere this year?

  4. leigh says:

    I kept seeing film of granola-head types standing in the water and shaking their befuddled shaggy heads.

    “Get to work, hippies!” is what I thought about that.

  5. Drumwaster says:

    You know what vegan zombies want, don’t you?

    Gra-a-a-a-ainssss……

  6. leigh says:

    Heh. That’s good, Drumwaster.

    I had to laugh (and cringe) at the morons who were originally frolicking in the flood waters that were surging all around them. Go ahead and get cholera, you idiots.

    Protip: If the sewers are backing up, don’t go play in the water.

  7. Slartibartfast says:

    I’m talking to a friend of mine in Boulder; he says Longmont was MUCH harder hit.

  8. Ernst Schreiber says:

    I’m talking to a friend of mine in Boulder; he says Longmont was MUCH harder hit.

    Which is why I left there in 1973.

    If you want to know what stocks will be hot in 2053….

  9. charles w says:

    I am in Longmont, or as its called by Boulderites, Longtucky. The city was hit hard. I am fortunate that I am on high ground. Whats funny though, is that Walmart and King Soopers continually brought in supplies. One of the stores was giving water away to anyone who needed it. FEMA just slows thing up.

  10. newrouter says:

    good luck charles

  11. charles w says:

    newrouter Thanks. We are ok. Stores are open, we have power and water. My mother in law has probably lost her stuff, but she is safe at my daughters house. Stuff can be replaced. This was an epic storm. But most people around here don’t wait for government hand outs. They just get to work and help whoever needs it.

  12. leigh says:

    I’m glad you’re okay, charles. “Stuff can be replaced” is also the attitude here in Tornado Alley.

  13. charles w says:

    Thanks leigh. For you praying types pray for the people that were in the canyons. Lyons and Jamestown are pretty much no more.

  14. serr8d says:

    For you praying types pray for the people that were in the canyons.

    Glad you’re OK, Charles.

    Mountain floods bring valley devastation

    Heavy rains in the mountains Thursday afternoon turned the small streams into a raging river powerful enough to wash away homes, tumble cars about like bathtub toys, destroy bridges and bend the steel beams that supported them like pipe cleaners. …

    The rushing, muddy water uprooted trees along the creek banks and draped those left standing with ruined clothing, building insulation and other debris from the wreckage it caused. Steel girders as thick as railroad rails were bent 90 degrees with the current.

    All those Appalachian coal-country towns are built in valleys, and suffer flooding on a regular basis. This one, and the Colorado Rocky Mountain’s, were 100-year floods. Or, if considered more in a geological time scale, regular and expected.

  15. Slartibartfast says:

    My friend’s house is a few blocks SE of the Pearl Street Mall; his house was flooded to the point where a lot of his power just shorted out. He rents, fortunately, so if his furnace and sump pump are completely gone he won’t be out a fortune. The landlord didn’t fare as well. His house was in a side canyon off Boulder Canyon, and the creek basically took a detour through his living room. Total loss. Fortunately he got out and has flood insurance.

    I am hearing things like 500-year flood in Boulder.

    I blame Global Moisturizing.

  16. newrouter says:

    hickenlooper happens

  17. McGehee says:

    I blame Global Moisturizing.

    Bah! You can have my Carmex when you scrape it off my cold, dead lips!

  18. Slartibartfast says:

    Go ahead and get cholera, you idiots.

    Not to overly quibble the larger point, but they’re not going to get cholera unless they drink the water. And even then it’s not a given.

    Which is not to say they can’t get very sick or even very dead by playing in water that has sewage in it.

  19. serr8d says:

    Which is not to say they can’t get very sick or even very dead by playing in water

    Heh. Years ago, we ‘played’ (ran the holes) in flood waters (Class 2) in kayaks, too close to a town of note, and had overly curious Law Enforcement Officers (and their tag-along news crews) trying to ‘rescue’ us. Had to beat it before we were arrested, or something.

  20. Ernst Schreiber says:

    Hooliganism!

  21. Slartibartfast says:

    I see a tinge of brown in those falls.

  22. BigBangHunter says:

    – I see a tinge of impovorished politics in this once fabulous Utopian story.

    “If you read the papers, you almost think the Republicans are in control,” said Senator Bernard Sanders of Vermont, an independent who caucuses with Democrats and vigorously opposed Mr. Summers until he withdrew from consideration. “They’re constantly on the offensive. Democrats are on the defensive.”

    – I don’t think Boehner is Bumblefucks real problem.

  23. Curmudgeon says:

    Coloradans: Could these floods lead to the shunning, if not the pillory, for those goo-goo mushbrained eco fiends who get dewy eyed about “Wild and Scenic Rivers”, and lead to some real dam construction?

    Then again, here in California, a state that goes through alternating drought or flood “El Ninyo” cycles, there are even more mush for brain people.

  24. leigh says:

    You’re correct of course, Slarti.

    I saw a bunch of them kicking water at each other and splashing it with their hands. All it takes is a swipe at the face/mouth/nose and you’re off to the races.

  25. McGehee says:

    That’ll put gruel in your bowels.

  26. leigh says:

    It certainly will, Ollie.

    I see that as of today Drudge is running two articles from the Colorado papers warning morons, er citizens, to stay out of the water.

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