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BREAKING: Assad Shot By Bodyguard, Hospitalized in Damascus? Maybe, maybe not.

Reports remain unconfirmed, with many denials coming out of Syria. Gateway Pundit is running updates as new speculation is released, and as lies are told and retold.

Because the Jews. The filthy, filthy Jews.

(h/t nr)

29 Replies to “BREAKING: Assad Shot By Bodyguard, Hospitalized in Damascus? Maybe, maybe not.”

  1. Silver Whistle says:

    Zionist bedouins created an Al-Assad articulated robot, will show him dead along with Damascus streets in chaos, to bring about panic and demoralize the Syrian people and the army, to enable terrorists to take advantage of the situation.

    Oh, the old jewbot trick. Baathists are far too clever to fall for that old chestnut.

  2. sdferr says:

    More not than not. Now Lebanon‘s got nothing up about this, and I suspect that they’d have something if there were any there there. Wouldn’t Assad assassinated be nice though?

  3. Silver Whistle says:

    Wouldn’t Assad assassinated be nice though?

    Getting plugged by his bosses seems a little odd. I can’t see how the IRGC benefits by his removal.

  4. sdferr says:

    I wouldn’t have figured the Iranian regime to have a hand in such a thing, though I wouldn’t put it past the Iranian regime to fail to recognize an Iranian individual harboring a private grudge against the Mullah’s, yet holding a position of trust under the Mullahs. There’s a heap of hate living still in Persia.

  5. jcw46 says:

    You’d think after thousands of years of behind the scenes control of every aspect of world politics and finance, that the Jews would finally just say “Genug” and take over everything and everybody like a video game.

    I’m ready.

    CONTROL ME!!!! CONTROL MY LIFE!!!!

    AND ESPECIALLY CONTROL THOSE MUSLIM MANIACS IN THE ME.

    (and I’d like a nice place to live and someone to care for me. Thank you)

  6. newrouter says:

    everything baracky touches turns to hickenlooper

    Mursi warning stirs fears in Egypt opposition

  7. happyfeet says:

    it’s fun to think about anyway

  8. beemoe says:

    The Jews and their robots are being blamed for the ‘disinformation.’

    “Zionist bedouins created an Al-Assad articulated robot, will show him dead along with Damascus streets in chaos, to bring about panic and demoralize the Syrian people and the army, to enable terrorists to take advantage of the situation. Just like they did with the fake GREEN SQUARE footage in LIBYA.”

    Those Jews and their evil robots are at it again.

    What the hell is a “Zionist Bedouin”?

    And can you buy those evil robots? They sound pretty cool.

  9. sdferr says:

    How things look from Idleb.

  10. steveaz says:

    I expect a quick resolution to the Syria problem because its strategic similarities to Saddam’s Iraq were becoming too clear for the world to ignore anymore.

    Either Bush would have to be exonerated for gaming regime-change in weaponizing Baath Party hold-outs – and the American Left’d have to eat heaping plates of cold crow, OR…

    Assad’s regime’ll suffer a quick decapitation and quietly surrender its WMD in a way that the whole sordid affair can be swept quietly under the rug.

    If nr’s tip is accurate, then I’ll bet the Left’s preferred second option is in the works. Watch for a new, sanitized regime to appear, the media to sing the song of Syria’s “Spring,” and Peggy Noonan to pen an editorial blaming the Iraq War on Republican losses in 2012.

    Oh! Noonan’s spit-wad’s already in print, so it looks like we’re one third of the way there already!

  11. steveaz says:

    Gish! I had Noonan’s thesis ass-backwards:

    [A]nd [I expect] Peggy Noonan to pen an editorial blaming Republican electoral defeats in 2012 on the Iraq War.

  12. SBP says:

    If life-like Jewish robots are available, put me down for one of Susanna Hoffs, circa 1986.

  13. leigh says:

    I would like a Paul Newman circa 1965.

  14. BT says:

    I did not know Newman was Jewish

  15. leigh says:

    Half. His dad was a Jew, his mother a Christian Scientist. He identified himself as Jewish even though, if you get technical about it, one’s Jewish blood comes from Mom not Dad.

  16. cranky-d says:

    That’s because you always know who the mother is.

  17. happyfeet says:

    says you

  18. Ouroboros says:

    .. and while you’re on the subject of the feeelthy Joooos..

    Chag Sameach !

    ..and have an easy fast, you first-born.

  19. Ouroboros says:

    .. Oh, and make my Jew robot a Natalie Portman model.. I’ll settle for a Scarlett Johansson, though, if they’re out..

  20. Silver Whistle says:

    I have tracked down a documentary on the little known Jewbots.

  21. leigh says:

    My eldest has dibs on the Natalie Portman Jewessbot. But, hey! They’re bots, so there are enough to go around.

  22. Mike LaRoche says:

    .. Oh, and make my Jew robot a Natalie Portman model.. I’ll settle for a Scarlett Johansson, though, if they’re out..

    Now those are the droids I’m looking for!

  23. mojo says:

    Iranian bodyguards?

    Well, that wasn’t very smart, now, was it?

  24. Ernst Schreiber says:

    You guys are outta luck. The Portman bots are all preprogrammed to only respond to middle-school-aged boys.

  25. RI Red says:

    That was middle-aged-school boys, right, Ernst?

  26. Ernst Schreiber says:

    Sorry. And don’t try to mess with the programming, either. You’ll turn it schizophrenic. Then your only hope is that it self-pleasures into an overload and shorts out.

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