September 1, 2012

My second brief conversation with Barack Obama’s basketball

me:  “You still mad at me?”

Barack Obama’s basketball:  “A little, yeah.”

me:  “Anything you want to clarify, walk back, that sort of thing?  I’m nothing if not fair.”

Barack Obama’s basketball: “Really, you’d let me do that?”

me:  “Absolutely. Go for it.”

Barack Obama’s basketball:  “Okay, fine, thanks. Yes.  I would.  First off, I didn’t mean to suggest that Obama wasn’t completely black.  He is.  Very black.  Like, so black that in a certain light he looks almost purple.  He’s a rolling brownout at midnight on a starless evening.  In inner-city Detroit.  Is how black his is.”

me:  “Is that it?”

Barack Obama’s basketball:  “Not even.  Obama has nothing in common with the lily white fatcat racists he endlessly wars against on behalf of the American middle class and the American poor, whom he adores and works daily to protect and nurture.”

me:  “Many of whom, presumably, are white, no?”

Barack Obama’s basketball:  “Sure.  But those whites aren’t racist.   They vote for Barack Obama.  Because a vote for Barack Obama is a vote against racism, regardless of your color.”

me:  “So then regardless of your color, a vote against Barack Obama, by your logic, is a vote for racism.

Barack Obama’s basketball:  “Yes.  No, wait –”

me:  “– and by extension, it’s racist to vote for a white candidate if that candidate is running against a black candidate.”

Barack Obama’s basketball:  “I don’t think I said that.”

me:  “I’m afraid you did, yes.  You’ve redefined racism so that, for you and the Democrats, it now means that to avoid being cast as racist, you must vote based on skin color alone.”

Barack Obama’s basketball:  “Not true.   I’ve defined racism as ‘not voting Democrat.'”

Barack Obama’s basketball:  “. . .”

Barack Obama’s basketball:  “. . .”

Barack Obama’s basketball:  “Shit.  I don’t think we should talk anymore.”

me:  “Your call, my brother. Peace out.”

 

 

Posted by Jeff G. @ 5:07pm
98 comments | Trackback

Comments (98)

  1. overheard

    yes, Obama is a very dark-skinned black, but the skin is so thin it just appears lighter.

  2. I think even having a conversation with the roundball and not the golf clubs just proves the raaacism of the conversation.

  3. here’s some stupid for a saturday nite

    Thus Republicans have had to tread carefully to always frame their criticisms in racially sensitive ways. Dog whistles are heard everywhere. Much of this exaggerated sensitivity is just that, but Republicans aren’t helped by the optics of their composition.

    Where are the blacks?

    link

  4. Boint, ba-boint-boint-boint

    fwahhh

    schwuup

  5. Where are the blacks?

    The blacks are, collectively, where they’ve pretty much always been: enjoying the free meals (and shackles) provided by their Democrat masters. Of course, any individual free-thinking black folk that decide they’re tired of the whole slavery thing are more than welcome in the Big Republican Tent. Naturally, their brethren will try to pull them down and keep them from leaving, much like crabs in a basket. *

    He said, unhelpfully.


    “OMG! Did this idiot just call Black People a bunch of ill-tempered sea-insects?!? It’s a privilege to comment at PW, and we should demand he go away, lest he further embarass the community with his knuckle-dragging Anti-Crustaceanism.”

  6. Where are the blacks?

    yea the wapo should ask that about their “talent”

  7. Bob Beckel has also been posing this line of malarky. Sorry, Bob, I saw blacks and tons of hispanics in the audience. Oddly, the party of raaacism! had many black and hispanic and wimmin speakers in featured roles.

    I see they have Elizabeth Warren (D-Indian Princess) on after Bubba speaks. I hope she wears buckskin and moccasins.

  8. Where is bh? Here are the WH beer recipes. What do you homebrewer’s say?

  9. The “Barack Obama’s basketball”['s] Diaries.

    When do we get to the hero-in-his-own-mind daze?

  10. Barack Obama’s basketball: (under its breath) “Racist.”

  11. - The comet of his Woncyness falls to earth.

  12. Allen West thinks Barack Obama’s Basketball can suck his dick. Metaphorically, of course. He doesn’t really swing that way.

  13. Mia Love thinks the basketball can suck her dick, and she’s not kidding.

  14. Where is bh? Here are the WH beer recipes. What do you homebrewer’s say?

    Needs more hops. A lot more hops. And no freaking honey.

    I think I’ll fire my beekeeper.

  15. - I predict if there’s one off the teleprompter script glib in your face you American independent suckers that the community bag man from South Chicago will wish he never said, “you didn’t build that” is going to top the list.

    – His class warfare Marxist roots were never brought into stark outline more than in that moment. If the hard working middle class and small business owners of America had any remaining doubts of who and what this scum bags ideology and aims are up to that point, they know for sure now.

    – He is clearly Anti everything this country stands for, and has tried steadily to elivate the under achievers, free ride bums, and public sector/Union teat chompers, all at the expense of every working tax payer in the process.

    – They have all the incentive they need to fire the sob.

  16. “Why do people hate you?”

    – Maybe his obvious racism against whites that aren’t useful to him in some way might have something to do with it.

  17. Thank God that basketball is just a basketball.

    Because a human being might have argued that voting Republican was racist, and then whadday gonna say?

    (Not to be contrary for the sake of being contrary)

  18. - Even the true believers are starting to murmur and question “hope and change”. Welcone to the “inside the beltway asylum” Progressives.

    – You’ll now begin to understand that in spite of self-interest driven differences, you have more in common with the Tea party movement than you ever would have imagined.

    – Because you know, if you’re on the right Obama’s ideology is naturally anti almost everything you believe in. That’s a given, but the Left has to be deeply disappointed in his 4 long yeaars of failure from their standpoint as well.

    – He’s waged a war to exacting Bush/Cheney plans, done nothing but attack the lower and middlw class, and small business, supporting only minorities and public employees in the process, changed laws only if it pandered to one of his voter demographics in area’s like immigration, saddled the entire country with an unworkable and dead at birth healthcare plan thats as close as it gets to totalitarian dictatore rule, left the country in debt beyond recovery, and totally failed in the economy in every regard.

    – No one is happy on either side. No one. All but a very few are far worse off than when he took office with brash promises that never came true, even for his most ardent cult followers.

    – And you better believe the Democrats are fully aware of the potential for mayhem from their own nut packs.

    – Good on them. Welcome to the Utopia Lefties, and you did build that.

  19. Steyn’s latest is on point. And Steyn is always worth reading regardless.

  20. You know, speaking of the whole “you didn’t build that” Kinsleyan gaffe, I don’t recall anyone attempting to turn that around a throw that back in his (or the Cherokee Senate candidate’s) face. Because, it seems to me that if the government hired teachers to inspire you, or paid for the construction of infrastructure so you could bring your product to market, that money had to come from somebody. Which means that you may not have built whatever it is that you didn’t build, but somebody like you did. And because you built whatever it is you built, you made it possible for the next generation of entrepeneurs and small business owners to go forward.

    So, yes, Obama, we did build that, and fuck you if you think you’re going to take credit for it.

  21. Barack Obama’s basketball: I got nothing. You suck ass at basketball. I’m done. That fucking bag of golf clubs you were given has stories to tell.

  22. - Yes Steyn is dead on in that essay.

    – Mathews and O’Donnel are neck and neck for Progressive boot licker of the year.

    – O’Donnel was around the bend years ago, but Mathews, who’s wife is a staunch Republican, and kicks his ass at home, is just pushing red meat for viewership of the faithful like his MSNBC masters want him to. The money’s good, and he’s just the right sort of ‘scarily pasty white scumbag’ to pull it off.

  23. Needs more hops. A lot more hops. And no freaking honey.

    I think I’ll fire my beekeeper.

    Ditto. And extract? Not in my beer. We have a Reinheitsgebot to maintain.

  24. Is it 5 am? Must be time for alppuccino to come from out of the blue and do some incoherent rambling:

    OMG! WTF! Why does everything Obama touches turn to shit? B4 Obama, people wasted their time writing entire words and using English good. But Obama FB’s like a fucking social media ninja. So savvy. So easy. “I’ll just send out a tweet. ‘This seat’s taken’. Problem solved. What? They’re still making fun of me? WTF?”

    Dear President Obama,

    There’s a girl in my class – Dakota, and I really really like her. I’m having trouble connecting with her. I want her to like me so bad. What should I do?

    Sincerely,

    Curt Nibworth

    From the Office of the President of the United States
    Dear Curt,

    Text her your dick.

    O

    P.S. Remember, if you put your loose change in the Obama Box at any of your local GameStops, you’ll be eligible to have dinner with me and Michelle.

    P.P.S. If the dick thing doesn’t work fast enough, try to sprinkle some big words into your conversation. Audacity has always been my go-to. The women love that one.

  25. I predict if there’s one off the teleprompter script glib in your face you American independent suckers that the community bag man from South Chicago will wish he never said, “you didn’t build that” is going to top the list.

    – His class warfare Marxist roots were never brought into stark outline more than in that moment.

    Yea, well in that off-teleprompter moment the truth is revealed. When he speaks off-cuff, he goes “off message”, which means we hear the real Barack.

    That’s why they don’t let him have such moments. No interviews, etc.

  26. OT: “Words Mean Things, Dammit that’s so GAY!“.

    (the photo there is what I find fascinating. Immaculately staged, of course, I’m guessing!)

  27. Oh noes. My son and my niece say that all the time.

    People who bitch all the time about their feelings are pretty gay.

  28. “Sticks and stones: “That’s so gay” negatively affects gay students”

    How diverse.

  29. I just came across this 2004 Obama interview for the first time. The topic is faith. Are any of you Godbotherers familiar with the guy he prays to or his definition of sin?

    Oh, one more question: Are you ready for some football?

  30. Ruh roh, Leigh. They may well be frog-marched in a line at the ‘Fix an Inappropriate Evil! NOW!’ event Coming Soon to a Republic Near You…

    “There is a lot of attention being given to addressing LGBT bullying on college campuses. Obviously, that work is important, but our results suggest that we must also address low-level hostility, including ‘that’s so gay.’ Policies and educational programs are needed to help students, staff and faculty to understand that such language can be harmful to gay students. Hopefully, these initiatives will help to eliminate the phrase from campuses.”

  31. [W]e must also address low-level hostility, including ‘that’s so gay.’ Policies and educational programs are needed to help students, staff and faculty to understand that such language can be harmful[.]

    Does this mean we can go back to using queer to mean queer instead of meaning gay? Or does this mean “odd duck” is about to become synonymous with “flamboyant homosexual”?

    He’s an odd duck. I’ve never known anyone to always be as gay as he. It’s really queer.

  32. - Threads that give us a chance to undress the unmaculet of his most Woness are always a delight, although rgw fact that Leigh and I think so much alike is probably scary at best.

    – I notice over at Huff’n’Poop they’re keeping the Con Obama con job ledes for late night only, so far. Apparently Arianna has fallen out of love with two tone Jugs.

    – There’s a rumor floating around that Obama’s people have put out feelers inquiring if NASA could name some feature on Mars after the Lord of the leaks. One scientist was supposed to have said, “Well theres still a number of craters that are available that are big enough to match the hole he’s made in our economy here on earth.” They found a face, maybe they can find a giant ear.

  33. Or does this mean “odd duck” is about to become synonymous with “flamboyant homosexual”?

    <snork>

    Years ago I ran into a former acquaintance who is gay, who informed me (among other things) that another former acquaintance who was gay had died of AIDS. He then went on to describe the deceased’s mother as “an odd duck.”

    That may have been the first time I ever encountered that phrase in person.

  34. I haven’t read that Obama interview, but glancing at it, I saw Obama seem to suggest that there may have been a time when Methodists didn’t think themselves in their Methodism “slightly superior to the Baptists”.

    Now I don’t happen to know about that one way or the other, but wouldn’t it be somehow odd for someone to profess at one and the same time that they chose to be Methodist and that the Baptists were nevertheless, in their judgement, superior to themselves (in their religious teachings, I suppose we should append)? Barry must have meant something else, is all I can conclude. Though what, again, I have no idea.

  35. - On reflection, someone should send Obama the link for that website that lets you name a heavenly body after your spouse.

    – He could choose a nice Giant black hole that represented the massive sucking sounds of Moochelle’s event horizon-like lavish spending habits on tax payer dollars

  36. HOMOnyms. It is so ghey for them to misspell that word. You might think they had an ulterior motive or something.

  37. “There is a lot of attention being given to addressing LGBT bullying on college campuses.

    With on convention just finished and the other starting Monday the entire front page of my local Sunday paper was devoted to bullying in grade schools.

  38. Of course it is. Y’all need to read invisibleserfscollar.com for all the reasons why bullying is the chosen vehicle to impose change on young skulls of mush…

  39. Hamonyms are words that remind me of ham.

  40. I remember when gay meant happy or cheerful. Why was the word appropriated as a euphemism for homosexual? Do we really have fewer happy cheerful people than homosexuals around now?

    Does everything need a monosyllabic term?

  41. NO. ;)

  42. Don’t make fun of the gays, they are the only levee between the Boy Scouts and the civilized world.

  43. ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gXotGSe_JE&list=UU67f2Qf7FYhtoUIF4Sf29cA&index=23&feature=plcp

    This….MEANS something…

  44. Needs more hops. A lot more hops. And no freaking honey.

    I think I’ll fire my beekeeper.

    The recipes themselves are generic “my first homebrews” (with a few strange mispellings) but I’d like to put in a word for honey. While I don’t brew any beer with honey, I think an under-appreciated old art is the braggot. One of my favorite playthings is a strong braggot (I mean, I have to use a champagne yeast because it’s heading in the direction of a barley wine) that I dry hop with approximately 1 billion pounds of Cascade hops.

    People — by that I mean manly men — love the stuff.

  45. It’s sorta what your favorite IPA wants to be when it grows up.

  46. I like Leinenkugel’s Honey Weiss. And I don’t care who knows it.

    Chippewa Falls needs to be liberated from the Packer menace.

  47. The difference between a commercial brewery and a homebrewer using honey is that a home brewer isn’t killing his yeast. Residual sugar isn’t adding flavor, it’s adding alcohol without body.

    Leinenkugel’s can back sweeten with honey and not have their bottles explode. A home brewer is taking honey and turning it into alcohol without the residual body or flavor that we get with barley.

    For a homebrewer, it’s really quite similar to adding sugar.

  48. I do add sugar quite often, btw. Use the right yeast, invert standard table sugar, get the right fermenting temperature and you’re creating those wonderful esters that you think of with a nice Belgian.

  49. Thanks, bh. I’ve never tried to home-brew beer but those recipes looked a little “look at us!” to me.

  50. I hear where you’re coming from, guys. My BIL makes a kickass mead that couldn’t exist without honey. But when you’ve got two and only two beers you make (by telling your taxpayer salaried chefs to start brewing) and they’re both honey? You’re a sissy bitch, and the sort who’d drink Bud Light in public.

  51. Well, the reason I don’t add honey to my beers is because I can do the same thing by boiling some sugar water at a fraction of the price. There’s probably a political angle there.

  52. It’s also because you don’t have slope-headed rubes paying for your beekeeper what makes the honey your chefs put in the beer you like to call yours.

  53. Honey flavor does NOT belong in beer. Though I had a German girlfriend who used to put banana juice in her hefeweizen, and compared to that, honey almost seems normal.

  54. Banana is a classic ester perception from a proper Hefeweizen. Ferment a bit lower and it’s clove. Bit higher and it’s almost like bubblegum.

  55. I’ve watched a billion German bartenders make colabier, which is exactly what it sounds like and as wrong as it could possibly be. I was like “The fuck? I thought you people knew how to drink this stuff.”

  56. They definitely go together well. To me, it’s no longer beer though. More like drinking Mike’s Hard Banana-ade or something.

  57. Then there’s the Chelada thing that the Hispanics need to just stop. And Budweiser needs to knock it off too. What the hell is wrong with people?

  58. Nothing quite like a wheat bear and 7-up on a hot summer day.

    If you’re kraut-ish

  59. I thought the Chelada thing was just for hangovers.

  60. That Chelada thing looks evil. Tomato juice’s only suitable function is to spare tailgaters from the awkwardness of drinking shots at 9 am.

  61. 7-Up? Why not a Radler, Ernst?

  62. Because lemon soda is hard to come by.

  63. Ick. That just sounds nasty.

  64. Is this another weird Minnesota thing? 7-Up is not a proper substitute, ya heathen.

  65. Besides, isn’t that what shandy is?

  66. There was a basement bar adjacent to Georgetown U that made a tomato juice and Porter as far back at the least as 1971. Dunno how far back it actually went. It didn’t have a Spanishish name though — — more like Dirty Somethin’er’other. Not bad, I thought at the time for a change of pace. Wouldn’t make much of a habit of it however.

  67. Missed your comment. Glug of club soda, sugar cube, teaspoon lemon juice, stir, add, voila.

  68. No it was a weird Frankfurt thing.

    1/2 beer, 1/2 lemon-lime soda, lemon wedge.

    Or maybe the Gasthof proprietor was just fucking with his American tourists.

  69. Glug of club soda, sugar cube Sprite, teaspoon lemon juice, stir, add, voila.

    That’s my whiskey sour recipe! Give it back!

  70. Okay, yeah, with a lemon wedge. 7-Up doesn’t have enough lemon on it’s own for me.

  71. Or maybe the Gasthof proprietor was just fucking with his American tourists.

    No, the natives, especially the young ones, regularly drink half beer – half coke. You go to the clubs and it’s everywhere. For me it was like when I figured out that Santa Claus was a lie.

  72. I know people who make old fashions like that. May the Lord have mercy on their souls.

  73. There’s a fun recipe for a session ale that replaces hops with spruce extract that tastes a bit like cola for some reason but that’s very North American.

  74. regularly drink half beer – half coke.

    the fall of the west short version

  75. It wasn’t enough for the commies to put flouride in our drinking water, nooo.

    They had to go and put cola in our beer, the bastards.

  76. Hey, lookee this.

    I guess that Romney guy isn’t the only one raising ca$h in the EU.

  77. That makes perfect sense. Provided you’re insane, of course.

  78. I want to back up a bit.

    Abe, was your girlfriend actually adding banana juice? Did it just taste like that? Are you simply joking?

    I make a few fruity beers along that line just for the ladies. My dubbel actually tastes like bubblegum. It is sorta hard to believe they’re actually just beer without any additions. It’s fun to do. Hell, lambics with that acid tartness are fun to do. After awhile you get tired of doppelbocks and heavy water English ales and perfectly smooth lagers and you want to see what the weirdest flavors are that you can get off of just the yeast (and occasionally bacteria).

  79. Provided you’re insane, of course.

    David Icke is Britain’s Alex Jones, yes?

  80. Yes. But he has his finger on the pulse of the Lizard People, like Anna Wintour. It’s probably best if you don’t think about it too much. Just look at her picture and leave it at that.

    Meanwhile, Newt is still useful as long as he isn’t in the now permanently defiled Oval Office.

  81. It’s in the Encyclopedia, people. I’m just sayin’.

  82. Yeah, she was actually adding banana juice to it. I honestly never even knew that commercial banana juice existed, yet, from the first time she insisted that we hunt some down, I’ve noticed that it’s at every pretentious market that I walk into. Usually, they’re collecting dust behind dusty bottles of apricot juice.

  83. That is just so weird, Abe.

  84. Usually, they’re collecting dust behind dusty bottles of apricot juice.

    and prune juice?

  85. What’s funny is that I’m fairly confident that she was great in bed based on that anecdote. Cheers.

  86. After awhile you get tired of doppelbocks and heavy water English ales and perfectly smooth lagers and you want to see what the weirdest flavors are that you can get off of just the yeast (and occasionally bacteria).

    Um, no. No, you don’t. Ever.

    The Belgians might make 800 different kinds of beer, but the truth is that only about 10 of ‘em are any good.

  87. I’m puzzled as to how in the world you juice a banana.

  88. Also, it’s Oktoberfest time, which makes me happy. I spent the holiday weekend arguing with my dad over whether the Spaten or the Hacker-Pschorr was better. I’m pretty sure we each argued both sides, sometimes simultaneously.

  89. Märzen!

  90. Um, no. No, you don’t. Ever.

    Heh, yeah, I’m willing to concede that point. Allow me to rephrase that without disparaging the classics: sometimes it’s fun to mess around after you discover it’s not that hard to make great beer. For awhile I was satisfied with funneling the mad scientist impulse into imperial stouts and IPAs but eventually the Belgians captured my imagination.

    (Now I’m trying to think of 10 good Belgian beers though. I can make 6, I think, but I’d be counting hefeweizen and saison variations.)

  91. I’m puzzled as to how in the world you juice a banana.

    I’d answer that if I knew you better.

  92. According to the interweb, it’s banana nectar. I know there’s a difference between juice and nectar, but I don’t know care what it is.

  93. I knew one of you fellas would give me a “heads up”, Ernst.

    Heh.

Leave a Reply