Why concentrate on you — lowly, moribund, material worker bees that you are — when you can instead gain glory by beatifying Him?
You are to be secular nuns married to the fashionably slender Godhead of State. And for your sacrifice and subjugation, He in turn will offer you grace in lieu of a gravy bowl.
— Until the money runs out or he leaves office, whichever comes first. Because then you starry-eyed suckers are on your own.
(thanks to George O)
“Sophia and Bryan invite you to a celebration of their love. In lieu of gifts, plaese send a donation to the Committee to Reelect the President.”
It brings a tear to the eye.
“Until the money runs out or he leaves office, whichever comes first. Because then you starry-eyed suckers are on your own.”
He hasn’t reckoned on the fate of Danny Dravot, I guess.
A donation of a cheap toaster seems appropriate…
“Mr. and Mrs. Stanley Schleckmann invite you to the wedding of their daughter, Beatrice Anne, to LCPL Edward Paul Smith, USMC. In lieu of gifts for the bride and groom, please help ensure that their grandchildren are born owing trillions of dollars to the Chinese.”
No, I’m just not feeling it.
I think the fundamental point being lost here is that the only suitable groom for the postmodern marriage is the State.
food stamp has absolutely no fucking dignity
but at least we have less than five more months of this cringe-worthy freak show
Get a load of this. What kindly, generous people unionized teachers are.
http://thehostages.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/does-your-husband-play/#comment-738258
Finally, now you know what to do with those gift anal probes…unless you too are running for orifice.
[…] More at protein wisdom. […]
Next, it’s stealing candy from babies. Not, as you might expect, for nutritional reasons but because they want to sell it.
This “Donations in lieu of…” thing is not unprecedented.
No, this campaign isn’t desperate at all. Me, I want to send them a crock pot.
Well, duh.
There is a *slight* difference between a unknown private citizen doing this in a single newspaper item, and the official campaign of the President herself making it a nationally publicized fundraising tool.
And the difference is bling, bitchez!
You know, I must hasten off a well scripted letter to the President, I just now noticed he might be missing opportunities. This is a very very good idea that you’re writing about and showing us, it could be expanded to money spent on funeral flowers, birthday presents, graduation gifts, really now, shouldn’t all that go to Himself?
[…] More at protein wisdom. […]
Look Jeff G, pushing state of the art solar panel manufacturers off of cliffs one after the other is EXPENSIVE. Plus wedding gifts are so 1%.
This reminds me of Russell Brand cluelessly begging me to vote for Obama because the US politics affect the UK and the world too so they should get to pick our president, , and besides George Bush is retarded and can’t be allowed a third term. Then David Byrne of Scotland/LA got on that wagon too. THIS IS NOT MY PROG ROCK MUSICAL GENIUS!
They’re part of “his generation” so why wouldn’t he expect them to give it up for their “namesake”.
This cult of personality thing is flippin’ out-of-hand.
It’s like that Obama birthday party thing I went to … where the organizer actually had a decorated b-day cake and we all sang happy birthday to Him.
[skin crawls]
I thought the fucking was supposed to start when the reception was over.
Roddy wins the thread!
oh I’m just imagining the wedding invitations with a little “O” stamp at the bottom – Obama should set up a drive-thru wedding chapel in Vegas, where you can tip him or something.
not being sarcastic – have past candidates done this sort of thing? I’m trying to remember the last time I saw anything this tacky…
[and I am SO stealing that]
please send a donation to the Committee to Reelect the President
CREEP
I had entirely forgotten that delightful acronym from the Nixon/Watergate years.
Entirely appropriate for the current occupant of the WH.
At your service, daveinsocal. Happy to help.
That was pretty good, Roddy!
I could not decide if it was creepier to divert weeding gifts or from your kids mitzvah… Next they might suggest, like our church bulletin, you leave bequests in your will.
“weeding”?, er, wedding gifts. A weeding gift sounds like a retirement gift, or a birthday present for your favorite cannabis smoker.
I just informed the better half that I’d be giving her a donation to the O! campaign for her birthday.
I’m not expecting her to be amused…
LTC John has still not made friends with his keyboard, I see.
For the chance to commune with The One™? Or even to dine with him, a la the Upper Room, if you’re the blessed winner?
Small price to pay, methinks.
“Make your sacraments *truly* memorable–give to Obama/Biden ’12.”
If this is any indicator of the clueless devotion, should he lose in November, there’s going to be some very Kim Jong Il-ish wailing in the streets.
I can see this being popular with the same-sex “marriage” crowd. Makes it easier than giving “His & His” monogrammed towels.
OBAMA 2012: “MONEY FOR PEOPLE.”
What, is Larry David now directly advising the O campaign?
And it’ll only cost you several hundred in taxes.
The Obama campaign – hiding the true costs since day one.
…and your chicks for free.
“…there’s going to be some very Kim Jong Il-ish wailing in the streets.”
– I’ve layed in an enexhaustable supply of popcorn.
This is the worst idea since Sen Robert Byrd tried to open a linen store.
Damn hf, that’s a sign things are getting bad in the view of the Secret Service I guess. But no-one would be willing to eat a dog, let alone a scumbag like Obama.
I’ve just mailed Obama a check for $2 trillion in lieu of gifts and in honor of the blessed union between Candy Heywood and Raji Jablomey.
“Next, it’s stealing candy from babies”
One of the suggested events is bar and bat mitzvahs. Yes, asking parents to divert gifts for their kids, or worse, asking kids to set up the Obama event registry pages themselves. Is it even legal legal for children to fund raise for politicians?
Cripes, happy. Did they just give them a spoon like they do in prison? I wonder what they’d do if you whipped a pair of chopsticks out and kept eating?
Maybe churches could start taking up a collection for Obama on Sunday.
oh noes
With every passing week, Democratic insiders are becoming more and more panicked that, by November, their Republican opponents will have buried them under a mountain of money.
http://www.tnr.com/article/politics/magazine/104223/liberal-super-PACs-democrats?page=0,0
Money they worry about. Our contempt? They could care less.
More panic at the DNC/ OFA. Is there any depth too low for this herd?
Bet this guy gets all his silverware.
“However, at one such lunch Friday afternoon, guests heard an unusual announcement that they needed to hand over their silverware for security reasons.”
Security huh, I’ll bet he’s afraid them hipanics are gonna steel the silverware before he gets his choice.
Denounced
So, Mom’s just had this real sucky sort of year, what with the foreclosure, the car repo, my sister with the drug problems stealing all of her Glen Campbell CD’s and her silverware, both dogs dying in the space of a week, and her store going belly up . . .
And now the cancer thing. Damn. So she’s bald, she smells funny, and she needs this hugely expensive drug that insurance won’t pay for.
So we had that fundraiser thingie, and damned if we didn’t net more than the $38,000 she needs for the drug! People are cool.
But then we got that personal letter from our President – and then he called us on the phone! – suggesting that he needed that money more than Mom does, and I thought it over, and figured if he was willing to call us personally, he must really need it, and so I sent him the whole $40,000.
And now Mom’s all pissed. What a shrew.
They would get a “No” RSVP with a receipt from the Romney campaign inside.
Cheers!!
I still say he’s gonna go all “Kneel before Zod!” before he’s done. You watch.
I might donate up to $40 NOT to have to eat dinner with Barack Obama, Harry Reid, or Nancy Pellosi or Sarah Jessica Parker (our nation’s new “What the fuck were you thinking” Czar” for that matter. Anna Wintour, I would stare at and blink insults towards in Morse code which I would learn before hand, JUST for such an occasion.
This must be for the Obama’s retirement home on the Malvinas.
The Secret Service rounded up all the knives and forks from a luncheon Friday of NALEO before the President appeared.
I guess this means that they won’t need any silverware (except for spoons) .. a potato peeler sounds nice.