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If you thought coal was dirty…

…wait until you meet the horrors of natural gas! Which filthy stuff must be stopped, lest the planet perish, and Americans ignorantly continue neglecting their responsibility to devolve back into creatures far more friendly to an organic habitat.  Something pre-fire and pre-tool, preferably, to remake that time when the earth was at its most serene.  Unless you happened not to be the apex predator, that is.  But then, what makes you think you’re so special, dinner?

Honestly:  I have half a mind to allow the environmentalists their way so that they can set up a society run by millions of hamsters on giant, biodegradable, earth-friendly hemp hamster wheels — if only because I know that such a system would lead to internecine fighting between the environmental militants and the animal rights militants, with bombs, glitter, and red paint would be involved.  And that’d be amusing to watch.

— Until the two groups realized how to reach a compromise, and “climate change deniers” were required to replace the hamsters on the Great Wheels of Good under penalty of death.

 

(thanks to Darleen)

 

 

21 Replies to “If you thought coal was dirty…”

  1. Ernst Schreiber says:

    T. Boone Pickens hardest hit.

  2. leigh says:

    Whewels? Wheels strike me as inauthentic and an affront to Gaia.

  3. leigh says:

    -w up there

  4. Actually, after a week in Vegas, four high school graduation parties and a Memorial Day beer and brat fundraiser, the natural gas around here is fucking EPIC. I even caught the dog reading ClimateProgress.org

    I’m so damn proud.

  5. Jim in KC says:

    I guess the sooner they succeed in sending us all back to the stone age, the sooner we can start ignoring these worthless assholes.

  6. palaeomerus says:

    According to environmentalists human beings are just a convenient way for the planet to store some water, oxygen, carbon dioxide, and nitrogen for a while. Y’know, store it on the planet. Where it was before we stored it.

  7. LBascom says:

    I think before anyone takes environmentalists seriously, they need to quit using electricity themselves. None, nada, zip. Practice what they preach. Lead by example.

    SHOW me the vision Seirra Club, build your own new dream community at one with ‘nature’ (as if natural gas wasn’t ‘nature’). Try selling instead of forcing. Who knows, maybe I’ll join you…

  8. ThomasD says:

    …a society run by millions of hamsters on giant, biodegradable, earth-friendly hemp hamster wheels…

    As if. Even once the kinks were ironed out they’d still find a reason to kill it.

    This isn’t about ‘saving’ the environment, and never has been.

    In any society, of any industrial level, energy is wealth and wealth is freedom. Slavery is nothing more than harnessing the energy of an individual in service to another. Abundant energy is cheap energy and cheap energy is the ultimate form of individual empowerment.

    They. Do. Not. Want. This.

    They want you permanently indentured, if not outright slaves (for what is a massive, nigh on unserviceable, yet also non-dischargeable student loan in exchange for entry into the ‘middle class’ if not a form of lifelong indentured servitude,) and they see themselves as your masters.

  9. mongo78 says:

    We’ve put the future of industrial civilization into the hands of people who mostly couldn’t be bothered to take a college-level math course.

    Great. Just fucking great.

  10. ThomasD says:

    …Slavery is nothing more than harnessing thetotal energy…

  11. Squid says:

    This reminds me that I need to pull out my Boundary Waters gear and make sure everything’s in good order…

  12. LBascom says:

    Dr.Sanity has a good post I think fits the mood. It’s kinda long, but she really pulls it together. A taste:

    The postmodern political left is constitutionally unable to appreciate it, but both they and the greedy capitalist entrepreneurs of the right who they sdespise so vehemently, are driven by the same dark human emotions: envy, greed and a need to dominate others.

    However, there is an extremely crucial difference.

    The do-gooder leftist in all the various ideological incarnations–the antiwar crowd, the environmental crowd, the communists, socialists, and assorted collectivists and utopians–each offer the rationale that he does what he does for the “common good” and for “social justice”, “peace” and “brotherhood”. His high-minded, self-righteous rhetoric justifies (to him anyway) imposing his will and beliefs on others for their own good; and he will not hesitate to use whatever coercive capablity he has at hand to get others to do what he wants and what he says.

    The evil capitalist, on the other hand, is overtly out to pursue his own selfish profi;, and understands he must use persuasion. That is, he must convince people that his ideas and the products of his mind are better than all the rest so that they will be willing to part with their hard-earned money to possess them. His desire for power over others is manifested in an indirect manner because people must wnat what he has to offer and believe that they will benefit from an interaction with him.

    There is no parallel social limitations on the behavior of the do-gooder leftist. This tyrant wannabe does not feel the need to convince others of the veracity or even the effectiveness of his ideas; nor does he accept defeat when others are not interested or resist their implementation. He knows in his heart what is best for everyone, and he will use coercion if necessary. He will not allow options; nor will he permit others do do what they think is right for themselves. Their feelings or concerns are a matter of complete indifference to him. Only his own matter.

    The leftist’s desire for power is direct and absolute; and is an inescapable psychological consequence of his utopian ideology.

  13. BuddyPC says:

    LBascom says May 30, 2012 at 2:06 pm
    I think before anyone takes environmentalists seriously, they need to quit using electricity themselves. None, nada, zip. Practice what they preach. Lead by example.
    SHOW me the vision Seirra Club, build your own new dream community at one with ‘nature’ (as if natural gas wasn’t ‘nature’). Try selling instead of forcing. Who knows, maybe I’ll join you…

    A retro, de-industrialized world lit and heated like it was before, without fossil fuels?

    That’s gonna give Whale Wars’ ratings a balls-kick.

  14. Dale Price says:

    on the Great Wheels of Good under penalty of death.

    Its inspiration, the Wheel of Pain, was deemed insufficiently euphemistic and likely suffering a case of the Mondays.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMqQA1SUifw

  15. Dale Price says:

    A retro, de-industrialized world lit and heated like it was before, without fossil fuels?

    Nothing points up the inherent misogyny of the Left quite like the longing for a world far more reliant on human muscle power. It’s no coincidence that women’s opportunities have correlated with the rise of high-energy societies. Turning back the clock will screw the ladies quite comprehensively.

  16. leigh says:

    It certainly will. Subsistance living is something we all strive to get away from. There aren’t even any hippy communes anymore. It’s just too much work. Heck, the Amish even use propane powered refrigerators and cell phones.

    I’d like to see a week of these pampered bitches (of both sexes) getting up before sunrise to build a fire and feed the chickens and hogs and milk the cows. Then, get their asses back to the house/tent/lean-to to rustle up some grub(s) before they get down to washing their clothes in the creek and hanging them on the bushes while trying to keep an eye on toddlers and making sure that fire didn’t go out.

  17. Ernst Schreiber says:

    A retro, de-industrialized world lit and heated like it was before, without fossil fuels?
    That’s gonna give Whale Wars’ ratings a balls-kick.

    How’s anyone supposed to watch it?

  18. happyfeet says:

    this picture tells you all you need to know about why the National Soros Radio media hates natural gas

    simple as that

  19. newrouter says:

    why the National Soros Radio media hates natural gas

    put off shore reserves effin’ country is energy self sufficient

  20. Mikey NTH says:

    I am more than ready for the hippies to devolve – like into worm chow.

  21. leigh says:

    Where have all the hippies gone? Portland? Ashland? They seem to be in the Pacific Northwest. Far from where I have to see or hear them.

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