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“Thursday is ‘Poolmageddon’ for trial lawyers”

But no worries. After all, these are the same people who are helping beat off the marauding right wing savages who are waging a War on Women — so clearly they have nothing but the best intentions when it comes to bravely protecting the civil rights of the differently abled from Big Recreation.

They are noble, you see. Champions of the marginalized and the forgotten.

And honestly, why do you care about this, anyway? Is it you who is being discriminated against? WHY DO YOU HATE WOMEN AND CRIPPLES?

Racists.

38 Replies to ““Thursday is ‘Poolmageddon’ for trial lawyers””

  1. JHoward says:

    It’s in the Constitution.

    Also: Stalin is actually still dead.

  2. Car in says:

    I’m just speechless. Honestly.

    And I say this as the daughter of a handicapped person.

  3. Slartibartfast says:

    beat off the marauding right wing savages

    What’s not to like?

  4. Jeff G. says:

    To recap: voter fraud, not a problem. Problems America faces: institutionalized and unfixable racism / white supremacy; pool access for the handicapped; non-universal condom access.

  5. Car in says:

    Also not a problem – restricting domestic oil production, national debt.

  6. JHoward says:

    Feeling no pushback in the last days of the American experiment, the left is going all exponentially jaggy in its extremism. They’re happily exploring the outer boundarylessness of their own madness.

    Ethics? What are you, nuts?

    This is a willful, even giddy collective insanity they’re snorting and you’re an abject villain for so much as glancing at it. They’ll come over and stick you.

    So dumb. And so predictable.

  7. JHoward says:

    national debt

    National debt? Also not a problem, a nation run by this outfit.

  8. XBradTC says:

    So, do I have to be disabled to bring a lawsuit? Cuz I’m sitting about 30 feet from my retirement plan…er… pool.

  9. geoffb says:

    As far as helping anyone who is actually wheelchair bound, as my wife is, this will work out just like the handicap parking. The morbidly obese and the lazy will take over the use of this permanent lift and those who really need it to get in and out will be shoved aside. Whereas the portable lift would only be pulled out for those who did need it.

    BTW my wife wouldn’t be using it as being in a heated pool or anything that gets her too warm is bad for her MS. What this will do is raise prices on any place that has a pool, like hotels.

  10. George Orwell says:

    Long years ago while I was alive, I wrote that “If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face — for ever.” Well, I was a bit off the mark. Substitute “boot” with “hydraulic pool lift” and you have a more accurate, if surreal, picture.

  11. sdferr says:

    Pool-lifts, as opposed to poll-lifts, is how government gets lean. Or sumpthin’.

  12. subconch says:

    Unintended consequences are of no consequence.

    By the way, has the DOJ considered the possible injurious ramifications of mass pool exodus pursuant to spotting a buoyant Baby Ruth?

  13. George Orwell says:

    the possible injurious ramifications of mass pool exodus pursuant to spotting a buoyant Baby Ruth?

    The EPA has just seen an entire realm of potential hazardous material contamination requiring the hiring of a thousand new regulators. A new office building and valet parking would be nice too.

  14. daveinsocal says:

    I predict a whole lotta pool closures this year, some temporary, some permanant. To increase exponentially after the first lawsuit is filed. Which will happen without a doubt.

  15. George Orwell says:

    We demand that mandatory pool lifts feature free-of-cost prophylactic and Seconal dispensers, located precisely 52 inches above the lift floor. STOP THE WAR ON DIFFERENTLY ABLED BATHING WOMYN!

  16. George Orwell says:

    Way OT but: Now that another military-industrial complex killbot has gone Dick Cheney on innocent children in Afghanistan, are the rest of you ready to join the waves of progressive activists no doubt amassing and build the world’s largest papier-mâché puppet of B. Hussein Obama? Will we cry out righteously for his trial in the Hague as a vile war criminal?

    Hello?

    Hey, Barry said Afghanistan was the “good war” and his administration would concentrate his war machine there, where it should have always been, in A-Stan. So, with this latest affront to humanity, aren’t we all gathering in a storm of indignant People Power to call for Hussein Obama’s arraignment in a tribunal like Nuremberg?

    Are these intertubes working?

    Hello? Cindy? Michael? Keith? Matty Y? Andy S.? Billy Maher?

    Hello?

  17. McGehee says:

    My wife always chooses where we stay when we travel, because she wants an indoor pool and Jacuzzi. If this rule goes into effect and causes all of the hotels in our price range to rip out their pools and such, choosing a hotel will suddenly be much simplified.

  18. daveinsocal says:

    Lawsuits over violations of these new rules should become quite the growth industry.

    Just like the “social justice” championed by this particular ‘illegal alien/convicted felon’ crusader here in CA.

  19. George Orwell says:

    Seems to me the DOJ must demand pools be filled with cotton. How can the differently abled be expected to learn to swim? That’s discriminatory.

    Next up: The DOJ goes on a crusade to defeat the prejudice in the Airline Pilots Association against the blind.

  20. daveinsocal says:

    Way OT but: Now that another military-industrial complex killbot…

    It’s worse than that. It seems the SecDef is now afraid of being fragged by his own bloodthirsty kill-crazy troops:

    U.S. troops at Afghan base told to lay down weapons before meeting with Panetta

    First. Homeland Security told us we couldn’t trust ’em after they were out of uniform. Now, the message we get is that they can’t be fully trusted while in uniform.

    But never question their support for our brave men & women in uniform!

  21. George Orwell says:

    It’s worse than that. It seems the SecDef is now afraid of being fragged by his own bloodthirsty kill-crazy troops:
    U.S. troops at Afghan base told to lay down weapons before meeting with Panetta

    Someone tell me how this so-called Republic isn’t looking more and more like Rome in the time of Caligula. Caesar Obama and his fucking advisers don’t even trust the Praetorian Guard. Of course, the analogy should be they don’t trust the Roman legions, and the Secret Service is the Praetorian Guard.

    But the Obama-as-Caligula thing fits. Mostly. Caligula was more fun.

  22. sdferr says:

    Little Red Prince vs. Little-Boots?

  23. […] The Washington Examiner, Conn Carroll reporting, we learn [tip of the fedora to Jeff Goldstein]: President Obama’s Department of Justice — led by Attorney General Eric Holder — […]

  24. George Orwell says:

    The order for the Marines to put down their weapons came from Major Gen. Mark Gurganus, according to a press pool report.

    Gurganus said that since the Afghan soldiers were unarmed, he did not want them treated differently, but said it was not because of the shooting this weekend.

    I’m howling with tears of irony.

  25. daveinsocal says:

    Caesar Obama and his fucking advisers don’t even trust the Praetorian Guard.

    Reminds me of an interesting book I read last year: “A State of Disobedience” by Tom Kratman, which explores “What if Hillary Clinton was elected President and was able to begin implementing her fondest ideological and fascist desires?” and “what would the resulting Revolution look like?”.

    In the book, the Secret Service has become the “Presidential Guard” and the Surgeon General gains a “Riot Control Police”, not to mention the newly armed agents of the FDA and EPA as well as the “Federal Commissioners” appointed for each state. It figures that the pushback would start in Texas…

    If you’re curious, you can read the first six chapters for free here.

  26. Silver Whistle says:

    The order for the Marines to put down their weapons came from Major Gen. Mark Gurganus, according to a press pool report.

    I’m having a hard time believing all of them are giving up their sidearms. If I know my Marines.

  27. Squid says:

    False advertising! Poolmaggedon for trial lawyers involves a lot of trial lawyers at the bottom of a lot of pools. The appropriate word for this circumstance should be “poolvana” or “pooladise” or some such.

  28. Fortunately, there’s a shortage of lawyers right now. Doh!

  29. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “Poolmageddon?”

    Nah, Carl can handle it.

    So take you’re families and feel real safe with the now $1 dollar an hr Lifeguards.

    Provided the company/ individual that owns the pool is isn’t flat out bankrupt by summer.

    Thank you precious, benevolent government. Another win.

    Wunderbar!

  30. B Moe says:

    They overlooked all the lawsuits from people who use the lift to drive their electric wheelchairs into the pool.

  31. EBL says:

    Sounds stimulating! If you are in the tort claim industry!

  32. SDN says:

    What’s going to really suck is when they use the same logic the FDA is using to regulate vegetable gardens to demand that anyone with a backyard pool comply with this crap…

  33. McGehee says:

    Worse: since any home may someday be purchased by someone who would (a) want to go swimming, but (b) need a power lift to use the pool, every house must have a pool with a power lift — installed at the current owner’s expense.

  34. Mueller says:

    Lotsa public pools gonna be closed this summer.
    I’m sure they didn’t mean for that to happen though.

  35. McGeehee, I think the regulation is only for public pools. So far.

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