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BREAKING: Historic Iowa and New Hampshire back-to-back wins by inevitable GOP nominee Mitt Romney made less historic by way of his having not really won Iowa [UPDATED]

Oops.

****
update: As I noted before the caucus, if Santorum wins, Iowa (we’ll be told) tells us nothing, really; if Romney wins, however, it’s RESOUNDING PROOF! that he’s the inevitable nominee, and that his momentum is too strong to beat back — so all the other non-top tier competitors should just do the right thing and drop out so the GOP can get to work burnishing up its newest establishment technocrat, readying him for the big fight against Obama, where the two can discuss how they both kinda like government-run healthcare, and how they both kinda recognize the problem human exhalation and fossil fuel burning poses to the earth — a fact that can only really be remedied by a government willing to do something.

And that’s just what we’ve seen play out: now that Santorum has won the certified vote, the party is calling it a “split decision.” Which is odd. As a Santorum spokesman points out, “Look, when the thought was that Mitt Romney won by eight votes, it was a huge victory for Mitt Romney. But by that standard, I guess 34 votes is just about a landslide in Iowa.”

53 Replies to “BREAKING: Historic Iowa and New Hampshire back-to-back wins by inevitable GOP nominee Mitt Romney made less historic by way of his having not really won Iowa [UPDATED]”

  1. RI Red says:

    Pure happenstance. Nothing to see here; move along, please.

  2. newrouter says:

    you’re hurting the narrative. please stop mr. visigoth

  3. geoffb says:

    It matters not who votes, nor does it matter who counts the votes, it only matters who reports the vote first.

  4. leigh says:

    I’m starting to have suspicions about this voting thing.

  5. B. Moe says:

    I question the timing.

  6. B. Moe says:

    The billionaires are coming after him with handfuls of cash to stuff in his pockets.

  7. Pablo says:

    Inevitability can be so fleeting. I hope.

  8. leigh says:

    I’m hoping right along with you, Pablo.

    Mitt Who?

  9. motionview says:

    John Ziegler. He understands as well as anyone what happened to Palin last time, understands the importance of and names the members of the People’s Ridicule Brigade, and yet still manages to dismisses Santorum with

    Now, if one candidate is perceived as being ideologically outside the mainstream (which, thanks to a media-created matrix, can really happen only to Republicans), then that perception will very likely impact the way that the “middle third” decides which candidate is the “wise” pick. But this usually won’t be because of the candidate’s actual views, but instead because of the narrative that his or her ideology creates (for instance, Rick Santorum would get crushed not because most people disagree with him about gay rights, but rather because his misunderstood views on the issue would create the impression that he was outside the mainstream and therefore not the “wise” alternative).

    He continues to eliminate everyone but Romney as being unable to attract the left half of the Bell curve, and then predicts Romney will lose.

  10. newrouter says:

    more attacks from the visigoths

    Why Is Mitt Romney Still the Least Vetted GOP Candidate?

    keep it up peeps and you’ll destroy our big tit on the fed gov’t

  11. B. Moe says:

    Apparently Marianne is fixing to kneecap good old Newt.

    Gonna be fun the next few months, its looking like.

  12. Jeff G. says:

    What Newt Gingrich’s ex-wife has to say? Relevant to the political process. How our genius President did in school? Not relevant. Who he hung with? Not relevant. His relationship with Ayers or Wright or Palestinian terror sympathizers? Yawn. Who cares about that?

    We’re a nation of self-created slaves kept warm in our bonds by a toasty tabloid culture.

    I think it’s time those of us who really do care about freedom start looking at ways to extricate ourselves from the US proper.

  13. dicentra says:

    Unless Marianne Gingrich is going to reveal that he sold secrets to the Soviets or committed a felony, I don’t wanna hear it.

  14. Brett says:

    “I think it’s time those of us who really do care about freedom start looking at ways to extricate ourselves from the US proper”

    Where will we go? America?

  15. Danger says:

    Brett,
    Texas is the rondezvouz point for the counterattack. Start stocking the armory.

  16. leigh says:

    I’m about as far out in the sticks as I’m willing to go. And we have a generator.

  17. EBL says:

    Here is the shocking revelation that Marianne Gingrich will reveal. We sort of know Gingrich had bad marriages, I cannot see how anything she says is going to be new? But hey, you can’t keep using the same tricks you used in Iowa in South Carolina, can you? You got to mix things up.

  18. Spiny Norman says:

    By the way, it matters not a whit who Iowa gives the “votes” to when the Paulbots are well on their way to getting themselves elected as GOP Convention delegates, where Iowa rules allow them to “vote their conscience”…

  19. Spiny Norman says:

    mv,

    He continues to eliminate everyone but Romney as being unable to attract the left half of the Bell curve, and then predicts Romney will lose.

    The scary part is, he might be right…

    O_o

  20. EBL says:

    http://www.businessinsider.com/ron-paul-winner-iowa-caucuses-strategy-201201 Here is the link on Ron Paul secretly winning Iowa. Man, he should coach for New England.

  21. […] headline from Jeff: “BREAKING: Historic Iowa and New Hampshire back-to-back wins by inevitable GOP nominee Mitt Romney ma….” Story here, nothing to add from me. Well, other than a resounding “HAAAA ha!” […]

  22. Pablo says:

    Per CNN, Rick Perry is out.

  23. Carin says:

    I, for one, am SHOCKED that an ex-wife would have negative things to say about Gingrich. What kind of monster must he be?

  24. Pablo says:

    And…he’s endorsing Gingrich. Oy.

  25. Crawford says:

    Unless Marianne Gingrich is going to reveal that he sold secrets to the Soviets or committed a felony, I don’t wanna hear it.

    I’m surprised no one’s stated the obvious: she’ll say nothing that’s new, nothing we haven’t already heard, but the media’s drama over the interview will lead people to believe she will.

    Unless we deal with the liars, shills, and frauds in the press, nothing will ever change except the length of our chains.

  26. Pablo says:

    The best part is the bitterness of the ex-wife who was previously the first mistress. You missed a big, fat clue right up front, Marianne!

  27. Jeff G. says:

    Perry finally has a good debate and then he drops out? We’re only 4 states into this thing — and we’ve had a caucus and a bunch of open primaries!

    This is set up specifically so that no conservative can win. It’s a sham. And a shame. And an outrage. And time for a change to the system.

  28. geoffb says:

    THE RESULTS: Santorum finished ahead by 34 votes
    MISSING DATA: 8 precincts’ numbers will never be certified
    PARTY VERDICT: GOP official says, ‘It’s a split decision’

    Rick Santorum – Final total: 29,839 Change: -168
    Mitt Romney – Final total: 29,805 Change: -210

  29. Jeff G. says:

    Ziegler also told us how Sarah Palin couldn’t win.

    He seems pretty big on telling us how no Republican can win. Not that I care. Just throwing it out there.

  30. Ernst Schreiber says:

    8 precincts’ numbers will never be certified

    How convenient

    —for Mitt

  31. Pablo says:

    To be fair, Jeff, Perry is polling 3rd in Texas.

    That’s just a really bad omen. One that has no impact on the veracity of your second para.

  32. Jeff G. says:

    Yeah, I know, Pablo. But it’s all about manufactured “momentum” and carefully constructed “frontrunner status.”

    We’re doomed.

  33. geoffb says:

    Caucus night. Romney ahead by 8, BIG WIN FOR ROMNEY!

    Certified results, Santorum wins by 34.

    Caucus results show diversity of opinion.

    […] And.

    Nailing down Iowa caucus results has proven troublesome over the years

    Nice to know, would have been nicer if that was the story on caucus night.

  34. Jeff G. says:

    Nice to know, would have been nicer if that was the story on caucus night.

    We’re being played.

    I feel so powerless sometimes.

  35. Pablo says:

    Yeah, this Iowa thing is fucking ridiculous. But I’m already resigned to crashing and rebuilding so much of this fails to move my needle. Not only have we screwed ourselves but we’ve absolutely refused to recognize it, let alone correct it.

    Thought we were better than that? Psyche!

  36. Ernst Schreiber says:

    A more accurate title for that Ziegler article motionview linked would be “The Six Things Republican Establishment Insiders Tell Themselves.”

  37. Squid says:

    God bless that Santorum spokesman. “Just about a landslide,” indeed! It’s exactly that sort of contempt, draped in humor, that we need to disarm our enemies in the information warfare bureaus.

  38. RI Red says:

    Jeff at 14, Colorado is a nice center of land mass, but you’d need to do something about Denver and Ft. Collins. I really think that Texas will be the domino (after Danger takes out Austin), followed by Idaho, Montana and other liberty-lovin’ states.

    Leigh, sorry, but Oklahoma will need to become Northern Texas.
    Don’t count on states in my neck of the woods. Maybe I can convince northern NH to block off Franconia Notch via avalanche. Pablo, I’ll need some back-up.

  39. leigh says:

    We already refer to Texas as Southern Oklahoma, RI Red.

    Hands off Austin, my little brother lives there.

  40. RI Red says:

    Soft spot in my heart for OK. First cross-country flight out of Ft. Wolters, TX in primary helicopter flight school(several centuries ago)was to Lawton, OK. I remember looking down at the VFR map as I crossed into OK and saying to myself, “It looks just like – Texas.”
    Which wasn’t a bad thing.

  41. Pablo says:

    I’ve got some friends in the Bershires to open a Western Front, Red. We can start driving Massholes into the harbor. If they behave themselves, we might could let them set sail for Nueva York.

  42. BT says:

    I have mixed feelings about facebook, but without facebook the county rep in podunk who noticed the published accounts didn’t jibe with his notes, the spotlight would have never been shown on the counting process.

    So yeah we can get rolled, but it’s a lot harder to get rolled now than it was 20 years ago. Too many eyes.

  43. leigh says:

    How long ago are we talking about, RI Red? The husband went to OCS at Lawton.

  44. RI Red says:

    leigh, that would be telling.
    70-76.

  45. leigh says:

    Ah, youngster (though older than me). The husband was there in 64-65. Then Kileen TX for flight school and somewheres in Alabama before off the Viet Nam.

  46. RI Red says:

    That would be Ft. Rucker, Alabama. If it was US Army.
    Youngster, hah! Get offa my lawn!

  47. happyfeet says:

    to go and kill the yeller man

  48. Jeff G. says:

    went down to the refinery hiring man said son if it was up to me I’d offer a 0% tax rate on manufacturing and a 17.5% across the board corporate tax rate on all other business

Comments are closed.