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Q: Who will win Iowa, and does it matter?

A: I don’t know, and yes, it will matter, provided Mitt Romney wins — because he’s the only really electable candidate, and we need to start getting behind him.

Otherwise, no, it won’t matter, and we’ll see lots of columns from establishment GOP opinion leaders in the next few days explaining to us how Iowa is hardly a decent predictor of a candidate’s viability in the long term — and besides, Mitt Romney is the only really electable candidate, and we need to start getting behind him.

— Or, in the case of Virginia, you’re nearly assured of getting behind him if you can’t stomach Ron Paul, because late game changes in compliance rules, following an October court decision, have conspired to keep the rest of the field off the Virginia primary ballot, essentially disenfranchising Virginia conservatives.

Here’s a better question: do we still live in a constitutional republic? A: No. No we most certainly do not — and sadly, the vast majority of citizens in the US either don’t know this or simply don’t care, having surrendered their individual sovereignty for the promise of a lifelong safety net that sets the civil framework for an equality of misery (with special dispensations provided for the governing and administrative classes, who are a little more equal that the masses — which is as it should be, given that they are charged with running all our lives. So how’s about you quit your bitching and show a little gratitude; and for those businesses in league with the government, who will provide whatever private sector jobs remain. So show a little gratitude there, too. I mean, you want jobs, right?).

****
related: “Waiting for Answers in Iowa: Will Santorum’s surge vindicate the power of prayer?”

Well, I can’t answer that one directly, save to say it worked for Tim Tebow. At least, temporarily.

Then the Steelers came to town.

And yes, you may use that as a metaphor, if you of the type who is so inclined.

16 Replies to “Q: Who will win Iowa, and does it matter?”

  1. Squid says:

    Wife bought me a Kindle for Christmas, and strongly suggested that I read Hunger Games before the movie comes out. So far, it strikes me as the literary equivalent of Fallout 3 or the various Zombie Apocalypse Survival Squads: an entertaining means of preparing our youth for the coming collapse, without scaring them to death or coming across as a loon.

    And by “loon,” of course, I mean “unelectable.”

    Happy New Year!

  2. EBL says:

    I thought God was a Greenbay fan?

  3. RyanBacon says:

    Honestly, Iowa doesn’t really matter. It’s a small sample of old white Christians setting the narrative for the rest of the nation. If our system was sane, then the first primary day on the calendar would be California-New York-Florida-Texas, and we’d actually have an idea what people want.

    I did read an amusing bit about Republicans being worried that some OWS hippies were going to infiltrate the caucuses and sabotage them by voting for bad candidates, something along the lines of Rush’s “Operation Chaos.” Thing is, no one knows what that would look like. Santorum? Romney? Who’s the Sabotage Candidate when they’re all fairly poor to begin with?

  4. leigh says:

    The natives of Pittsburgh will tell you God is a Stillers fan.

  5. happyfeet says:

    I predict the Ron Paul will win the approbation of the hickish corn monkeys.

  6. happyfeet says:

    Hunger Games! Book one was brilliant! Book two was very empire strikes backsy and very obviously written to be easily rendered on film. Book three broadens the scope and takes a satisfyingly dark and mature turn.

    Small complaint: certain wonderful characters too-casually discarded.

    But otherwise a work of genius as far as the young adult fictions go, and conservatives should cheer cheer cheer to see such a strong resourceful and very well-armed female role model kicking ass for freedom.

  7. leigh says:

    It doesn’t make a difference who wins this silly contest in Iowa. The Children of the Corn Subsidies were still largely undecided last night. Undecideds twelve hours out is not who I need deciding presidential contests.

  8. Ernst Schreiber says:

    The kinds of undecideds you have in mind leigh won’t be caucusing tonight.

  9. leigh says:

    Which undecideds are those? Several folk were interviewed last night on the newz and they claimed to be “undecided” still.

  10. Ernst Schreiber says:

    The kind of undecideds who don’t know who they’re going to vote for because they don’t care and can’t be bothered. Those “undecided” caucus goers you saw interviewed last night know exactly what they’re looking for, and they just haven’t settled on who the closest approximation of that is going to be.

  11. Squid says:

    California-New York-Florida-Texas

    I have a lot more in common with the average Iowan than I do with any of the above. You may complain that they look like a Norman Rockwell print, but I’m a lot more concerned with the quality of their character than I am with the color of their skin.

    Frankly, given the state of affairs in New York and California, I’m not sure we should allow them to have a say in national affairs at all until they prove they can get their own shit together. Let’s just make their electors and representatives non-voting advisory members of their respective bodies until such time as they staunch the flood of mass outmigration and red ink.

  12. SteveG says:

    Somewhere in the middle Book of Revelations, I thought I saw a reference to God reserving the right to say “no” to the beseechings… shrill and otherwise… of both Broncos and their fans. Although perhaps it was the very non hip and non hoppy coors light 24 OZ cans with bright blue mountains talking. They do that.
    On the flip side, Bill Maher’s prayer that Tebow would fumble inside the red zone seems to have been answered… which again can be found in Revelations if you look long enough.

    Think about this though…. the Book of Mormon? Wow. When it gets roaring, Revelations looks tame. we are talking Super Bowl for lapsed Mormon’s like Jim McMahon roaring. Bad Chicago team dance videos.
    Baffled Touchdown Jesus at Notre Dame these last few years types of verses.
    That Book of Mormon knows its football

  13. John Bradley says:

    You called it.

    @allahpundit: This is sort of like a 20-inning game between the Pirates and Royals. Interesting in its own way, yet irrelevant #iowa

  14. Jeff G. says:

    I do know me some bloggers and their ways, JB.

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