August 26, 2010

If instead of a pseudo-intellectual professor of three-chord progressions, Middle Tennessee State University's William Yelverton were a Constitutional Lawyer

Waitress: “For the last time, sir, yes, we have an entire pot of clam chowder in the kitchen — and no, that doesn’t mean we ‘owe it to the people’ to give you a bowl for free.”

Yelverton: …

Yelverton: …

Yelverton: “LIBEL!”*

****
update:

Yelverton: “I HAVE A FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHT TO YOUR FUCKING SOUP! NOW FETCH ME A BOWL, HATER!”

****
Listen: William Yelverton tried commenting here under a whole host of pseudonyms — perhaps upwards of 20-25 — including some that he used to fluff himself as a legitimate thinker. He isn’t — something he’s proven in his many opportunities to show he could bring something useful or interesting to our discussions. He’s a troll; no more and no less. Or, if he prefers, Dr. troll.

The kids at Middle Tennessee State may be forced to engage his “you are all Christian teabagging bigots for disagreeing with me” school of argument, but I’m not. And he isn’t entitled to my attention by dint of passing an oral exam on lute history.

Besides: Willy ain’t the sharpest toenail on the foot. Having constantly to stop what I’m doing and smooth him out with an emery board is a waste of my time.

****
update the second: As some of his indictments come to my attention, it is clear that Dr Flying V has framed his piece in such a way that doesn’t at all represent my point of view. First, the mosque issue isn’t a matter of freedom of religion: no one has said Muslims can’t practice their religion, and zoning boards and civic councils routinely determine where and if places of worship can be built without running afoul of the Constitution. That many Muslims are themselves against the mosque is something Willy studiously avoids discussing. Second, I’ve been very clear that at issue here is not a dispute over whether or not the mosque can be built; in fact, that we are having this debate at all assumes that the can part of the issue is a (legal) given — something that our intellectually deficient stringed instrument wrangler doesn’t seem able to grasp.

No, what’s at issue here is whether or not a mosque that pretends toward outreach and “healing” should be placed in a specific place — particularly once it became obvious that outreach and healing weren’t what the gesture suggested to those most closely tied to the site.

That most Americans tend to agree with my argument does not make most Americans bigoted haters and Islamophobes who wish to do away with the First Amendment; it simply means that most Americans, having been told over and over by the left how they have to show “tolerance” for the Other, have begun to wonder why it is no one is ever directed to show tolerance toward what it is they feel. They sense the double standard, and they are rebelling. They simply won’t be shamed any longer.

Add to that the growing concern that the imam at the center of the project is not really what he claims to be, and what most Americans are left wondering is why people like William Yelverton so insist that the mosque be placed where proposed — particularly when these same people will fight tooth and nail to have a cross removed from the side of a highway.

Middle Tennessee State University has not only hired a plagiarizer and intellectual midget; they’ve hired a lying plagiarizer and intellectual midget.

And you get what you pay for.

****
update the third: Question: if the trustees at Middle Tennessee State read Yelverton’s “arguments,” would they be compelled to fire him on the spot for excessive public stupidity?

Listen closely, William. No one here has ever advocated “outlawing” the mosque. What we have argued — and not even all of us — is that those involved with the project should rethink the location. Because if they hoped to build bridges, they’ve already failed on that account. So by digging in their heels now, they’re only widening the mote.

To that end, we’ve made our displeasure with the current location known. This is the very essence of free speech. It has nothing to do with freedom of religion. You’d think a college educator might understand that.

But then, there isn’t a whole lot of constitutional instruction in the lyrics to “Sultans of Swing,” I guess.

CHECKMATE!

Posted by Jeff G. @ 12:34pm
249 comments | Trackback

Comments (249)

  1. I see what you did there.

  2. I bet Little Willy Willy won’t, won’t won’t.

  3. And here I was thinking that Yelverton was a fictional character nightmared up during a Tequila-oxycontin weekend.

  4. Shukran Yelverton, Shukran. It is not really a lie when you say it for Allah.

  5. This one went over my head. Situation normal.

  6. Oyster Crackers to the PEOPLE!!!!

  7. Wait, I thought that Willie thought that oyster crackers are the people?

  8. You gotta wonder how many of Yelverton’s students parents now just wish they’d given Eddie Van Halen the $60 grand for guitar lessons.

  9. update:

    Yelverton: “Besides. YOU’RE VIOLATING MY FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHT TO DO WHATEVER I PLEASE, WHENEVER I PLEASE — UP TO AND INCLUDING MAKING SURE YOU DON’T HAVE FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS!”

  10. To be totally accurate, the chowder scenario would then move to the part where the waitress, after a tip by Yelverton, is investigated and found to be hoarding an amount of clam chowder far beyond ‘personal use’ limits, and imprisoned for 7 years.

    Because freedom has limits you know.

  11. VEGGIE PIE-AY-YAH FOR TEH PEOPLE !!!!

  12. updated update:

    Yelverton: “IF I DON’T GET MY WAY ON EVERYTHING, THE TERRORISTS WILL HAVE WON!”

  13. I’m glad I got a ton of work done this morning because this would be a terrible day to miss the fun.

    (Cranky, in the other thread, Yelverton referred to the written truth as slander and in this post Jeff has him referring to spoken truth as libel. It’s a nice blend with Yelverton’s humorous First Amendment confusion.)

  14. I think, at some point, you’ve made enough chowder.

  15. It is not confusion, bh. He is just pig ignert.

  16. I love chowder.

  17. It’s really not all that nice to ridicule the mentally deficient.

  18. Kinda fun, though.

  19. This is kind of like challenging Corky to a spelling test.

  20. BTW, I think everyone must pronounce it “chowda” rather than “chowderr” in honor of some dead Kennedys.

    Or not.

  21. You know, Ted’s been sober a year now.

  22. Shamelessly stolen from someone else.

  23. I bet Little Willy Willy won’t, won’t won’t.

    Linkified.

  24. You know, Ted’s been sober a year now.

    Damn that was good.

    Also, I’m gonna slanderlibel the hell out’a somebody tomorrow.

    Slibel!

    Word and print.

    Like peanut butter & chocolate!

  25. Good stole.

  26. I just thought I’d remind you that we ALL should drive one of these:


    Hydrocarbon Powered Eco-Vehicle

    BECAUSE OF THE PLANET!

  27. How long until timmyb starts fellating willie the midget wonder?

    Wasn’t there another whack-job from TN on here?

  28. Oh. Yelverton has blogged about you. He’s doubling down on teh stupid.

  29. It’s pretty damn hilarious. He’s in rare form.

  30. Oh dear. A college professor?

    Brrrrrrrrrr…

    I just got a cold chill, dude!

  31. I certainly hope Willie doesn’t slibel our gentle host. Or is it “slanbel”?

  32. If a blog post falls in the forest, and there’s nobody there to hear it save a cat, a plate of paella, and a limp-dicked pseudo-intellectual working on his syllabus for “Intro to Rik Emmett,” does it make a sound…?

  33. What kind of chowder are we talking about here, New England or Manhattan style?

  34. This is my favorite…

    Unlike Goldstein, I have never deleted comments that show opposing views.

    Of course he hasn’t deleted comments. If nobody ever comments on your “blog” you don’t have to delete them.

  35. Like, legit hilarious, bh? Or hilarious in that, “holy shit, I’m not sure this guy realizes we can see his girdle” kinda way?

  36. It may be obvious to passersby, I guess, but worth pointing out nonetheless, that Willie has in this instance banned himself, choosing not to have it out in argument here, but to retreat to his tiny domicile to play, alone, with himself. Is that a masturbation metaphor? Who knows.

  37. Unlike Yelverton, I comment under my own name and tend to add something substantial to the debates I enter into.

  38. He kicked your ass, Jeff. IN YOUR FACE!

    Yelverton apparently thinks the bad guys from The Karate Kid were the ne plus ultra of witty put downs.

  39. Watch it, bh. Nobody disrespects Cobra Kai!!!

  40. Oh, all his humor is strictly unintentional, Jeff.

  41. Get ‘im a body bag! YEAHHHHHH!

  42. “I can handle things, I’m smart, not like everybody says. Not dumb, I’m smart, and I want respect!”

    – William Yelverton, Professor of Ukulele Studies, Middle Tennessee State Clowniversity

  43. Willie, Mike says if you can’t handle the cat, I’ll have to handle it for you.

  44. Is Willie actually Obama on psychological grounds writ very very small? So tiny as to almost disappear?

  45. If a blog post falls in the forest, and there’s nobody there to hear it save a cat, a plate of paella, and a limp-dicked pseudo-intellectual working on his syllabus for “Intro to Rik Emmett,” does it make a sound…?

    I’m pretty sure the cat would make a sound. You know, as it’s owner reads all this and kicks it across the room.

    I think the paella would just be sad and quiet in its fate. Knowing all of it’s components used to have roots and other plants to talk to that were much smarter than William. And are now just food in a dish for Willy that’s so shitty Rachel Ray wouldn’t even eat it.

    As for the limp dicked psuedo-intellectual…

    TIMBER!!!!!

    I saw it!!

    I saw it fall.

    BOOM.

    Hit the ground hard.

    Other blogs just stared at it.

  46. “I can handle things, I’m smart, not like everybody says. Not dumb, I’m smart, and I want respect!”

    And this, sweet people, is a whole chain of run-on sentences. Run-ons don’t have to be long: they just have to be independent clauses joined with a comma splice.

  47. Speaking of kittehs:

  48. I hate dilemmas like these. I mean, I hate to let Willie teh Wacist vent his lies without countering them, but at the same time, I don’t want to get keyboard cooties from commenting at his site.

    What’s a poor cephalopod to do?

  49. That was dialog from The Godfather, dicentra.

  50. Willy ain’t the sharpest toenail on the foot. Having constantly to stop what I’m doing and smooth him out with an emery board is a waste of my time.

    *golfclap*

  51. I hear you, squid. I did enjoy visiting his blog though. I wonder if he has any idea what an unbalanced lunatic the place makes him look like?

  52. I’m much smarter than this William character. Even Moe Green says so.

  53. What’s a poor cephaalopd to do?

    Well, I suppose we could all head over there and see who comes up with the first comment so vile that he deletes it. And then we can all taunt him for his hypocrisy.

    But that’s so Jr. High, like competing to see who can make the new teacher cry first.

    Best to keep your dignity.

  54. Not only smarter, but you undoubtedly have a more fulfilling sex life. The cocktail waitresses may not have much of a choice, but at least they’re, you know, not cats.

  55. That was for Fredo, in case there was any doubt.

  56. “I can handle things, I’m smart, not like everybody says. Not dumb, I’m smart, and I want respect!”

    “I can handle things! I’m smart, not like everybody says, not dumb, I’m smart, and I want respect!”

    I hope that earns the tech writers’ seal of approval, you beautiful grammar bitch, you!

  57. “And I want respect.”

    Without ever having to grant it.

  58. Best to keep your dignity.

    Dignity vs. William Yelverton.

    That’s gotta be worth 100 motivational posters.

    Most obvious? “You’re doing it wrong”

  59. He used some really big fonts on that post. I hope you can see how upset he is.

  60. I was itching to comment, but I think that’s what he wants to have happen. There was so much concentrated stupid in that post.

    He’s an overachiever at being an ignoramous. He’s a maroon’s maroon.

  61. He’s quite the lootist, isn’t he?

  62. he has come out strongly in opposition of the Constitutional right of freedom of religion on the Park51 Islamic Center

    The farce, strong in this one is.

  63. I didn’t know that saying they should build the mosque elsewhere was the same as VIOLATING THEIR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS. Thanks to Willie, I have seen the light.

  64. Yes, and banning a blog commenter is a violation of:

    Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

    Yelverton is clearly confused.

  65. VILE SLANDERERS!

    Don’t make him kick your ass, you “classical teabaggers”!

  66. Reading up on BJT’s troubles, I saw where one pathway among the handful is thought to be the olfactory nerves. * shudder *

  67. CBO/Unemployment: “Thank God for teachers jobs. Fucker’d be at 40%. Whew!”

    Teachers Union: “Which of you graduating 12th graders reading at a 3rd grade level want to learn to play the guitar and utterly hate and lie about people you disagree with? (some teachers applaud) This is Mr. Yelverton. He’s here to speak to you.”

    Unemployment.

    It’s not a chicken or egg thing.

  68. you can’t fuck an egg

  69. - I would imagine Willy is the veritable “big toe” at MTSU.

    – BTW, the not so hi art of stringing a guitar is something your average, maybe even below average, 6 year old can learn in the space of one leisurely afternoon.

    – When I was first learning I, of course, completely missed the deep existential pathos behind a well tuned instrument, getting somewhat sidetracked when the subject of the G string was introduced. Instead of turning my nuts to bring the G string under the proper tension I went straight for the boobies. As it happens my first instructor was a red headed hottie. But I digress.

  70. Arte Johnson “Ok Mr. feets, was that a sneaky chicken yolk?”

  71. Can.

    Academia omelet.

    All the eggs get fucked.

  72. Jeff is going to end up with some kind of Troll Hall of Fame… some of these loons make me miss PIATOR – at least we had fun knocking around plays off of the name.

  73. Hey, guys. Here‘s a little double rainbow moment for you all.

  74. Yelverton

    very elton
    tony lever

  75. Yelverton needs to get thrown through a PLATE GLASS WINDOW!!!

    Chant with me so it sounds important!

    No guitar class, no plate glass!
    No guitar class, no plate glass!
    No guitar class, no plate glass!
    No guitar class, no plate glass!
    No guitar class, no plate glass!

    Why aren’t you chanting?

  76. Yes, that’s William Yelverton being frightened by lightning.

  77. I’m not sure I would have posted any of that. I try to keep my embarrassments either personal, or at least anonymous if the do sho up on the web.

    That one really bad one on YouTube? Yeah…that was me. Gross, I know.

  78. That missive he typed from BrokeDick Holler is hysterical.

  79. Does anybody know of any cheering good news today? I don’t know what it would look like, but maybe something on the order of a poll (just making this up now) showing Russ Feingold behind by 14 pts to his challenger Ron Johnson. I got nothin’.

  80. This thread, and the other, are hysterical. William Yelverton got pantsed in from of all of the kids on the playground, and he had shart marks on his tighty whiteys.

  81. Does anybody know of any cheering good news today?

    Whom Do You Trust?

  82. I saw that YouTube vid and went to one of his “performances”, technically adequate, but no real emotion to the playing. If he’s teaching the way he plays, he’s likely turning out students ith decent skills, but no heart as artists.

    Plus, he really needs to up his dosage of Minoxidil, either that or consider shaving and pray that he has a decent scalp. Just sayin’…

  83. IT’S CHOWDA!!!! I’LL KILL YOU ALL!!!!

  84. geez, I can’t comment from work and missed participating in the mocking of Paella Boy.

  85. Seen that newrouter thanks. All things taken in all, I’m not so sure it’s a winner though. It’s sort of like, trust on grounds of what, given that the “leadership” so called has chosen not to take a stand on the actual measures they will take to get the country back on a path to solvency, let alone back to a tempered and rational understanding of the meaning of the American republic. So, it’s a heartfelt meh, ok, whatever sort of deal.

  86. try this

    The Bipartisan Policy Center, in a report commissioned by the presidential panel tasked with investigating the BP oil spill, has concluded that the administration’s drilling moratorium is unnecessary.

    link

  87. Oh my god, he got even stoopider. From Willie’s second update to his blog (which has received its highest traffic today, no doubt):


    Tell us Jeff, how uncomfortable do you thnk [sic] it makes those teen girls feel who have to listen to all those anti-women’s rights Christian zealots protesting at Planned Parenthood clinics? Should we violate their First Amendment rights because it makes someone uncomfortable? Should we outlaw teabagger protests because they’re carrying Obama/Nazi signs and that makes me uncomfortable?

    Willie still don’t get how this 1st Amendment thinger works, do he?

  88. That’s a better one. Better still would be an announcement of a Federal indictment of Obama on grounds of economicide but nah, that’s just the drugs kickin’ in. Sorry.

  89. He lost me at “tell us.”

    Cats don’t read.

  90. Should we outlaw teabagger protests because they’re carrying Obama/Nazi signs

    very elton doesn’t like larouchites who are demonrats by the way

  91. Somebody tell him that nobody that I know is agitating for a law preventing the mosque at Ground Zero. Tell him people are exercising their rights to make known their opposition to the decision by certain New York pols and bureaucrats to allow the construction of a mosque at that particular site.

    Tell him that we have a right to petition our elected officials.

    Then tell him to zip up his fly.

  92. Sorry Jeff, this is America and freedom is our gig. Checkmate.

    Yes. He actually wrote that.

  93. Best part of everything was him implying Jeff was running some sort of Christian Identity site.
    Better than a Mark Knopfler guitar note, that was.

  94. Well, freedom is our gig unless you’re a Christian teabagger who hates; you all should be made to shut the fuck up!

  95. very elton is not strumming his guitar

  96. he may be playing with his tony lever

  97. Let’s go through the checklist:

    Asses kicked? Yes, many.

    In their very faces? Of course, that’s how he rolls, up in your grill and shit.

    Absurd ego protection masked as aggression? Hells yeah!

    CHECKMATE!

    He’s an American, motherfucker. And freedom is his gig.

    [Cue awesome electric guitar licks.]

  98. I haven’t gone over to Paella Boy’s site, from the quotes brought back I can tell he has still never actually reads PW, just vomits forth a thin gruel of impotence against his own cartoon creations.

    How pitiful is it that he cannot even effectively engage in debate with the ridiculous “opposing” views he creates all on his lonesome?

  99. If he’s got to checkmate already, I wanna know, did he open with a Queen’s Gambit?

  100. Shhh. Nobody tell him that he’s really playing checkers.

  101. We’re much too hatey to bother actually reading. Progressives know what we’re saying IN OUR HEARTS, and that’s all that matters.

  102. I tried to cancel my split infinitive, but it was too late

  103. KING ME!

  104. he gives air guitar lessons too?

  105. I take it Yelverton has a good many more strawmen to vanquish, because that is all he’s been doing. Relentless, he is.

    Here he is in all his farcical glory:

  106. YAHTZEE!

  107. Since New York Governor Paterson is advising the Cordoba House developers to move to a location a bit further away from the WTC site, and is actively trying to facilitate it, even offering state property, does that make him a racist bigoted islamophobe?

    Well, Willie?

  108. this is America and freedom is our gig

    That’s more Spinal Tap than Spinal Tap. Somewhere Rob Reiner is kicking himself for not thinking of it first.

  109. To that end, we’ve made our displeasure with the current location known. This is the very essence of free speech. It has nothing to do with freedom of religion. You’d think a college educator might understand that.

    College educators of a certain ideological bent also know that politically-correct Progressive dogma trumps free speech.

  110. not happy but sdferr might like

    Charity’s tragedy and farce

  111. If it turns out that he’s actually developmentally disabled, I’m going to feel terrible.

  112. I’m still not getting the ideological requirements of the neck squeezing string plucking deal. Fingertip callouses maybe, fingernails fortified by gelatin, ok, but ideology? That’s kooky.

    Oh, and newrouter, wow, fascinating, marvelous work that thinking cartoon drawing man is making.

  113. Olly Olly Oxen Free Free Free!

  114. Oh, and newrouter, wow, fascinating, marvelous work that thinking cartoon drawing man is making.

    oh sorry if i wasted your time. note to self don’t assume.

  115. He’s digging a hole under his own existence.

  116. He thinks he’s touched a nerve with me. Doesn’t even realize that I simply used him as an occasional to write a post about his type, and that I couldn’t possibly care any less about him or what he thinks.

    At least Don Quijote tilted at windmills with a sword. This douche is rushing in all Nigel Tufnel-like, with nothing but an unplayed vintage guitar and an armadillo in his trousers.

  117. “oh sorry if i wasted your time. ”

    Did you misunderstand? I thought the thing was terrific, though as you say, not perfectly cheering.

  118. Side note to cranky-d: Memorize this passage:

    It is good English to judiciously split an occasional infinitive, and a preposition is a fine thing to end a sentence with.

    (the thread? nah. at 1/10 or less the blog traffic, I got nuthin’)

    Regards,
    Ric

  119. Nigel Tufnel-like

    I think one of Paella Boy’s issues is that no one wants to lick his love pump.

  120. Glad you caught that, Darleen. It was an odd riff off of your “oxen free”.

    Honestly, Jeff, I don’t think even he believes he struck a nerve with you. This is all ego protection. He just has to keep humming to himself because when he stops he starts realizing salient facts about himself and it’s not at all pleasant.

  121. He’s bragging the State Board of Trustees gave him his tenure very early. I can imagine some of their long faces when this starts to gather steam.

    I can’t imagine having an ego so big as to eclipse a person’s innate ability to predict outcomes.

  122. Yelverton is way more St. Hubbins than Tufnel.

  123. Heh. Chessplayer? Yelverton? He’d fall for fool’s mate. I’d cap a pawn on his ass.

  124. He teaches guitar. Does he really not understand that his tenure was given about as much thought as the hiring of an assistant women’s golf coach?

  125. geez, I can’t comment from work and missed participating in the mocking of Paella Boy.

    Damn, I missed all the fun today, too. Willie is the fourth troll Jeff has publicly choke-slammed in the last two weeks (the others being RD, Elf Radio, and thor). BTW, y’all may recall that Serr8d nailed Willie this past May with this pic:

    ”picture”

  126. img src=”picture.jpg” alt=”picture” height=”100″ width=”100″

    Tweak the height and width as needed.

  127. WTF is that thing on the floor near to his picking hand?

  128. Flashlight.

  129. Damn, that was big. Probably the first time Willie’s been told that before.

  130. Or, maybe, the advanced technology that shrank him to one half normal size.

  131. Is following him on twitter part of qualifying for food stamps or something?

    And maybe the last.

    20 demerits for breaking the blog, though.

  132. Wow. That’s big.

    When you resize it, Jeff, use width=100 by height=118 to maintain perspectives. It might auto-perspective with width=100 and no height defined.

  133. cat blogging what fun

  134. very elton broke the blog

  135. uh, Mike…

    dude, that could have been smaller

    the unbidden shriek when I scrolled down scared the cats and spilled my drink…

  136. My monitor is sized 1920 x 1080, so nothing’s broken on the big screen. I wonder what’ll happen to the Droid? brb…

  137. Other than his ego, willie the plagiarizing hilljack yelverton has never been accused of being big. Or tall. Or capable. Or smart. Or rational. Or educated. Or self-aware.

  138. oh…btw…the print on those sheets?

    My hubby had the same set … the he bought new with his waterbed of 1980 something variety (now long gone)

    and that pvc-end table?

    SHEESH, the time-warp!!

  139. pw’s mobile edition simply cuts it to fit.No worries.

  140. You know you are living the high life when you have a coffee table made out of PVC pipe.

    I wish I could find that old post of William Yelverton’s where he named his house.

  141. I was reading this thread with my computer connected to my plasma. That picture filling up a 62″ LED screen is traumatic.

  142. Mea culpa, mea culpa. I’m still getting the hang of this new Firefox toolbar that DarthRove told us about last night. I’ll be more careful.

  143. JD

    The 80’s bedspread, 1st apartment after moving out of mom’s furniture made from pvc, hanging houseplants in plastic pots, being dressed in sweats with a guitar and cat —

    No one ever told him to GROW UP??

  144. A Song to William Yelverton

    Willie, The Racist Hilljack (Inspired by JD and Puff the Magic Dragon)

    Willie the racist hill jack – lives in a holler.
    With lutes and cats and patchouli hats and tubs of pai – ey – ah.
    Musician is his moniker – at a fourth rate Tennessee school
    Hikes by lakes and brownie bakes conceal a link crazed tool.

    Willie hates Republicans – and conservatives to boot.
    He thinks they’re crazed and should be tazed, and burned with a hemp rope loop.
    Religious folks are morons – and libertines are cruel.
    He’d like to stamp them to a camp with barracks, guards and gruel.

    (Oh)
    [chorus]

    One day to his amazement – upon the intratubes.
    Willie seized the net world breeze of blogging like a fool,
    and then in passing wonder – some Google links he found.
    Now he could shreik and raise a stink without a minor sound!

    (Oh)
    [chorus]

    So Willie started typing – his hatred of George Bush,
    With links and bolds and jello molds he kicked him in the tush.
    Soon he was rewarded – with Hope and Change galore.
    Willie’s liberal fantasies became his prix du jour.

    (Oh)
    [chorus]

    Willie bid farewell to – his bloggy ornery id.
    He said goodbye, he might have cried, content with Barry the kid.
    But evil right wing loonies – clawed at Willie’s guy.
    With tears of rage he turned a page and baked some link-fu pie.

    (Oh)
    [chorus]

    Now Willie haunts the bloggers – who dare to criticize
    His hero Bar and then they dare to say he’ll socialize,
    the country and it’s people! – “What’s wrong with that?” Will says.
    “The smart guys know that you guys blow and should be locked away!”

    (Oh)
    [chorus]

    So Willie vomits linkies – from favorite Liberal sites.
    He throws Fox News a bone or two with ‘Thuglicans in his sights.
    Most of the links don’t matter – to the topic close at hand,
    With forty names he’s a royal pain like crotch rot smeared with spam.

    (Oh)
    [chorus]

    Sockpuppets Anonymous – have begged him to come in.
    Google moans and bloggers groan at all the linky din.
    But Willie just keeps plugging – in all familar ways.
    With many names and not too sane he’ll be a tool today!

    (Oh)
    [chorus] fini

    Brava, BJTexs

  145. Imagine that picture on a 62″ screen. I need a therapist.

  146. I need a therapist.

    Dude. You got just about everything else, maybe you should get at least one therapist. ;-)

  147. Here ya go, JD.

    Cedarcrest. Bill’s place. Den of masturbatory self-indulgences.

  148. Oh, and that is one hell of a flashlight. What, does Willie head up the neighborhood watch?

    But what is the glass thing on the back? Flashlight/ tip-jar?

  149. the “sun” room says limpid liberal. hey let’s do some virgins like the aztecs or muslims

  150. That was a good little song at 149.

  151. This douche is rushing in all Nigel Tufnel-like

    Only to find out that he’s failed to overcome a miniature Stonehenge. How disappointing.

    CHECKMATE!!! GOOD DAY, SIR!

  152. I see JD is engaging Willie over at Willie’s blog. That’s kind of him to give Willie some much needed attention.

  153. Yes, that is the one, serr8d. What a douche. Is that an above ground pool with a deck built around it to make it look like an in-ground pool? Larry the Cable Guy and his buddies tell jokes about people like that.

  154. …where he named his house.

    Oh hellz no. No he di’int.

    Let me guess … he named his house Euterpe.

  155. That is not me, cranky. Not yet.

  156. Oops. Missed the comments up above. Still, “Cedarcrest”. Imaginitive, that.

  157. I didn’t read that closely, JD. My bad.

    Willie is an entertaining fellow. I’m glad I’m not him.

  158. i can no longer maintain that position, cranky-d. What a douchenozzle. Stupid that pervasive should be visible and painful.

  159. His parents have a big “Y” on the chimney of their rural flood plain cottage. I suppose the next step up the douchebag ladder is naming a home with an above ground pool.

  160. Naming a home with an above ground pool is funny beyond words. Shame a cool log cabin has been defiled and beshat upon by the doucheyness that is William the plagiarist Yelverton.

  161. There was a song about being King of my double wide trailer, a country song, I believe. I liked it.

  162. I’m beginning to find “holler” as funny as “hilljack”.

  163. I am still laughing at the idea that a 50 year old sort-of-man midget is still frightened like a baby child at a thunderstorm and lightning. That he would videotape that and post it was funny beyond words.

  164. There was a song about being King of my double wide trailer, a country song, I believe. I liked it.

    Yep, the song is “Queen of my Double-Wide Trailer” by Sammy Kershaw.

  165. - JD – Maybe we should take up a small collection to get him a teddy bear and a bippy.

  166. Paella Boy has his double in California and Charles Johnson beclowns himself.

  167. “Paella Boy has his double in California as Charles Johnson beclowns himself”

  168. - Twice as bad?

  169. Whoa. I just noticed the blockquote on my #137. I’m quite certain I posted that on the next thread, and not on this one…

  170. William lives in a holler, no?

  171. I’ve now had three comments asking for William Yelverton to post his academic output so that I can examine it for plagiarism.

    They’ve all been deleted.

    Hmmm.

  172. If anyone knows how to find and save any academic work he might have online, please get to it.

  173. That did not take him long to shit on your First Amendment rights, bh.

  174. Thrice he shat thusly, JD.

    It’s all good though. Now I know something is there. Thanks, Willie.

  175. It is either something is there, or absolutely nothing is there.

  176. Goodnight, racists. William has had 15 times as many comments today as he had in the last whole week. And he thinks that is a good thing.

  177. Yeah, I mentioned that. Three times. Suddenly I need to clear my cache and refresh my browser. But only when I brought up possible plagiarism in his academic work.

    He needed time to hide some shit. That’s fine. He’s not particularly bright.

    He might be hinting with checking his thesis. I’m willing to bet I need to check his classroom materials.

  178. FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD !!!!!!!!!!!!!

  179. Willie, don’t lie about Jeff’s posts anymore. Don’t comment here anymore. Don’t give another update.

    If you do any of these things, I will be FULLY encouraged to find exactly what I now know is there.

    Do we have an understanding?

  180. Comment of the day from Willie’s blog:

    It’s like watching a grown-ass man put on a donkey show.

    Wow, Willy. You’ve outdone yourself today. Tell me: do you throw it up after? Or do you wait a few months, then a mule pops out of your mouth…?

  181. Seems little Willie knows nothing of the wayback machine feature on google… oops

  182. Glad you liked it, Mike.

    Willy: I know you’re still lurking. Trust me when I say this: you are so out of your league. Apologize now and perhaps I’ll show mercy.

    Otherwise, you’re going to find out just how fucking useless that PhD of yours is when it comes to determining just how whip smart you think you are.

  183. At least Don Quijote tilted at windmills with a sword.

    Lance, actually, and he caught it in the spinning vane and ended up all patas arriba and stuff.

    I also have no earthly idea who Nigel Tufnel is, so that puts you ahead of me.

  184. #131

    I, uh, I kinda like that room.

    Sorry, but there it is.

    And I also have to ask how a perfesser of gee-tar at a two-bit college makes enough to build his own log cabin with a spa. Trust fund?

  185. oh I get it the sword is like a penis

  186. it’s like a metaphor

  187. http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/203718.php

    Oh my. Little Willie exercising his first amendment rights to actually be the straw man.

    Ku Ku Ka Choo..

  188. I know it was a lance, di. I wasn’t being literal. More evocative.

  189. happyfeet’s got the gist of it.

  190. And then I went over here and listened to a sample of his stuff and, uh, it’s pretty good.

    So he’s good at the guitar thing. Pity he’s such a moron otherwise. Must be an idiot-savant thing.

  191. I’m going to watch Jason Goes to Hell on Netflix download.

    Which I can do, because I’m cultured enough already that I don’t need to photograph myself as a pretentious putz strumming from print music in my sun room.

    I just am.

  192. You should sign up for his newsletter, dicentra.

  193. happyfeet’s got the gist of it.

    But then wouldn’t a lance be more…?

    Aw, fuggedaboudit. I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things. /Elaine Benis

  194. Jason has sharp edges

  195. A lance doesn’t have the edge I was looking for.

    And it ain’t the size; it’s how you use it.

  196. You should sign up for his newsletter, dicentra.

    Newsletters are narratives; Yelvie’s internal narrative is just about the most incoherent, bile-soaked thing I’ve seen since Pandagon.

    Makes me sad, really. But then many great artists were jackasses.

  197. she said benis

  198. But then many great artists were jackasses

    So were many pedestrian artists.

  199. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot on the My Pet Jawa vid, Steph, but as a visual demonstration of how the Left creates its strawmen, it’s as good as any.

  200. He’s got a black kitty just like mine.

    Wonder if it pukes on his bedspread, too.

  201. The cup o’ noodles isn’t getting any warmer.

    ‘night all.

  202. - Don’t know about any of that, but the pic of him, he just looks like a garden variety putz. But then that fits the profile; all those pimpled faced geeks and nerds stumbling their way through childhood and teens, and the god-awful years of abject ridicule, clinging to their thesaurus and jar of paste.

  203. Yelverton has a black kitty just like mine.

    dicentra if you knew how hard you rocked it would a lot ruin it

  204. I’m still awake right now because I think something happened on the other side of the planet and I need to find some news before, yeah, four hours from now.

    So, let me take this opportunity to thank all of you for not giving any spoilers on the latest season of Big Brother UK. I know it wasn’t easy for you all and I appreciate it.

  205. Josie to win Ultimate Big Brother UK, booyakasha!

  206. four hours from now the east coast of the Failshit States of America what are titularly united will have a fresh gdp number

    word is it’s already priced in

    we’ll see about that I guess

  207. Some people say that things happen before the sun’s scary next passage that tell us what the sun brings here in the land of east coast sun and when they combine in a combinatory sort dealio we should pay attention and write executive summaries even though we’re the executives and we’ll then be too tired to understand what we just wrote about for out own enlightenment, ‘feets.

    And it turns out that Josie left the big brother house because she’s worried about John James even though he’s probably a dick and she has a rather delightful Bristolian accent.

  208. If I was in the Big Brother UK house I would lie and say I was a basketball player because I’m very tall and they’d never know the tricky questions to ask. I’d say things like they said on Yo, MTV Raps back in the early 90s because they’re old fashioned like the Canadians that work in the Windsorian strip clubs by Detroit.

  209. Dr K takes up a brickbat to beat the left about the head and neck of its stance on BigGov, S.B.1070, Prop 8 and the victory mosque:

    The Democrats are going to get beaten badly in November. Not just because the economy is ailing. And not just because Obama over-read his mandate in governing too far left. But because a comeuppance is due the arrogant elites whose undisguised contempt for the great unwashed prevents them from conceding a modicum of serious thought to those who dare oppose them.

  210. Apropos of very little (but slightly on-topic because our resident troll has decided that one can be acquire guilt by association from anyone whose POV overlaps even slightly with one’s own), I give you a quote from the posting of “Ripper McCord”, aka Chris Powers:

    Well, I am a Christian, but today I am Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf. I am a Muslim. I am an American.

    Tell me your name today.

    The funny part is the last comment (as of this morning, anyway):

    No, “Ripper” aka Tom [dunno where the “Tom” name comes from – Ed], you’re the crackpot who fire bombed Russ Carnahan’s office. Why should anyone take you in any way seriously.

    Apparently someone got so supportive of Park51 that they actually went Taliban.

  211. … and so it goes with this very talented musician and thoroughly empty thinker.

    I had all i had to say about this political lightweight here.

  212. By the way: you may not have noticed that, when Obama was inaugurated, he wrote a long, apologetic post signing off from the blogoshpere, regretting many of his styles and decisions he made while blogging.

    you’ll also notice that those comments are no longer available on “I delete no comments because I’m a Constitutional fanatic”‘s website.

    Fancy that! It’s all in the song, bitches!

  213. Oh and Jeff? You were awesome all the way through this thread. Bravo! willie reached out to grab what was poking him and didn’t realize it was a .50 Caliber auto.

  214. For the record, not all of us who are faculty members at MTSU are raving moonbats.

  215. And I also have to ask how a perfesser of gee-tar at a two-bit college makes enough to build his own log cabin with a spa. Trust fund?

    You flyover peoples sure are easily impressed. Tennessee real estate + a meager salary + being a fifty-year-old with no grown up responsibilities = log cabin with a collegiate futon and cheap plant holders and a kitteh.

  216. He paid $155k for it in 1997. That seems about right; it’s on the edge of town, on three acres plus, but old (now 40-odd years).

  217. Median salary for non-business, non-computer science can be found on MTSU’s website; $60k.

    I wouldn’t pick on the life, there. It’s probably not a bad one, if you can get away from all of the rabid rightwing Christhumping teabaggers once in a while.

    I lived less than two hours South of there, near Huntsville, AL for about seven years. You can get a decent place on a lot of land (we got a newly updated house on 10 acres with a pond for ~$150k) for not all that much money. Rural property values were stagnant back then, though; I can only guess that they’re still in decline right now.


  218. I see what you did there.


    I bet Little Willy Willy won’t, won’t won’t.

    Who says you can’t prove a negative. Professor Yelverton’s missing humor gene proves liberalism.

  219. Slarti – Me and my brother used to own a property in Tuscumbia, AL, right up the road from Huntsville. Loved the area, great hunting and fishing and golf, and the value was awesome.

  220. Moronic academicians hollering “Fascists!” at opponents who make choices at variance with their leftist vision of the world aren’t solely in the US. Thinking people are done with the left.

  221. >> Rural property values were stagnant back then, though; I can only guess that they’re still in decline right now.

    Yup. When I bought my place in 2005, thanks to seller desperation I already had considerable equity, and general runup after that left me with almost half beyond the loan balance. Nowadays, after a re-fi to finance the business that failed and general devaluation, I’m even or maybe a little underwater, depending on who you ask — the county’s valuations conform to the bubble peak, of course; fortunately the tax rates aren’t particularly onerous.

    Just before I got fired my ex-boss and his wife were researching properties east of there, in the north Georgia hills. Based on that, I would guess that the county values Yelverton’s place somewhere in the neighborhood of $200-250K, and he could sell it tomorrow for a little less than half that. If his salary matches the curve I would expect, a $155K loan was about right at the time, maybe a little high. If he’s been making the payments on schedule and hasn’t refinanced, I would guess he’s about even or maybe a little above water.

    Regards,
    Ric

  222. Crimso,

    You know what they say about bad apples….although, willie is closer to being the weird apple in the MTSU barrel

  223. Ordinarily I’d agree with you, slart, especially since you don’t know what friendlies here you’re inadvertently sticking the knife into by putting down his life. But in this instance, that’s just too fucking bad. I really don’t have patience for some psychotic loser flaunting his lifestyle when he paid less for his home than I made in ’97 (while still in my 20’s). He doesn’t even have the intelligence or self-respect to bleed from our abuse of his educational/intellectual deficiencies, so I think the rest of his delusions are fair game as long as he persists.

  224. Abe – I think the key here is that mockery and scorn of William Yelverton, Professor of Plagiarism at MTSU, does not rebound to others that may be similarly situated, as they are not flashing their asses at us and giving us the brown-eyed wink. Plus, he is stupid. Obama stupid.

  225. Property appraiser values it around $190k, so you’re not far off, Ric.

    Listing values in Murfreesboro area actually seem pretty high. Zillow says just under $200k. It’s a pretty nice piece of land, actually. Good gig, if you don’t mind rubbing elbows with the redneck reichwing motherfuckers.

  226. That’s the dilemma, JD. I just have to sort of hope that people understand that any mockery of him is predicated on his delusional self-regard, as opposed to his life were it lived it quietly and at some distance from his innumerable intellectual superiors here.

  227. Later, haters. I am off to a lilly-white golf course, actually it is mainly green and why lilly-white when all of my lillies are green with colored flowers but I digress, to play a round with my decidedly non-diverse Friday group.

  228. Oops. An extra “it” in there.

  229. Abe – You said it perfectly.

  230. I’m not trying to harsh your mellow, Abe. Carry on.

  231. I’m probably a bit upside down on my house — though not by too much. For the time being.

    Luckily, we were able to purchase for roughly 45k under market value — back when the market value was about to drop significantly. Never expected to drop further than it did; but then, I never expected 52% of the country would vote in a leftist ideologue and shakedown artist, either.

  232. The Washington Nationals are probably feeling a bit upside down too. Damned sad story about the Strasburg kid today. I hope he heals up ok but doubt he’ll ever have the stuff he had.

  233. Well, nowadays many pro athletes who have the surgery come back even stronger. But there’s always the risk he won’t be as good. That’s why it’s tough to pay that kind of guaranteed money to a pitcher — and why the pitcher is right to hold out for that kind of guaranteed money.

    Hope he heals up well. He’s got a very bright future.

  234. “No one has said Muslims can’t practice their religion”…I’ll say it. If a Muslim actually practices his religion he is committing a crime that I would be arrested for were it me.

  235. Avast! Does I spy me the White Whale?

  236. #245
    OK. I’ll put my shirt back on.

  237. Jeff G., sdferr,

    Francisco Liriano is an excellent example of coming back from TJ surgery. Two years after the surgery, Liriano is finally starting to look like his old self.

    Takes time and patience.

    Yeah, I’m Twins fan.

Leave a Reply