Officials want to remove the word “swine” from the name of the flu, for fear that it will hurt the pork industry. Mexican Flu is also not kosher, of course. MedFlu isn’t fair to medflies, either. Hannitizer Flu does seem unfair to Shawn Hannity, though it contains the handsanity that experts are recommending. I suggest Congressional Flu, or Murtha Flu, but feel free to suggest your own.
Heck, on second thought, who needs “flu” in there? Domesticated Animal Transmitted Health Concern will do.
Oh, and here’s an opportunity for Obama to emulate Bush, again.
UPDATE: Lots of good suggestions so far, but this one made me snort, kind of like a . . .
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Comment by The Monster on 4/29 @ 6:47 am # |Edit This
The Paris-based World Organization for Animal Health also objected to the name, saying the virus contains avian and human components and no pig so far has been found ill with the disease.
To recognize these diverse components, there is but one name that can do it justice:
ManBirdPig.
Because it’s half human flu, half bird flu, and half swine flu. I’m super cereal.
UPDATE: Another possible name for the ManBirdPig Flu–
The Pelosi Pandemic?
The Specter Sickness?
The Fucking Mendoucheous Twatwaffle Flu?
It’s The Migrant Flu (a/k/a The Undocumented Flu; The Si Se Puede Flu; The Flu Doing Infections That American Flus Won’t Do).
This shit isn’t funny anymore.
To recognize these diverse components, there is but one name that can do it justice:
ManBirdPig.
Because it’s half human flu, half bird flu, and half swine flu. I’m super cereal.
Benedick – La Razafluenza?
Monster wins. ManBirdPig Flu.
manbirdpig is the disease state for manbearpig.
How about the cowardly treasonous wealth plundering fuckin’ rethuglidum loser virus!
Or how about the go crawl under some brush cover and die like a mangy old dog you fuckin’ idiot rethuglidums virus.
Or the more specific America took a chainsaw to your political party and now you’re forever fucked virus.
Oh, Good Allah. Why have you not smoted thor?
Monster’s is a great one but, dare I say, the math is wrong: 1/3’s!
But most likely along the lines of Benedict or Apotheosis: Illegal flu?
I’m somewhat shocked it hasn’t been renamed “Bush flu” or “republican flu”.
On the downside, it doesn’t really infect pork ? Channeling happyfeet, I assume that means Megan mcCain is safe ?
Also if we could identify somebody with a particular virulent strain and send them to thor’s mom’s house to breathe on him, that would be super.
#8:
YIP!
YIP!
YIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIP!
YIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIP!
YIP!
What’s a thor?
An open, unhealed wound.
He’s a thor loser.
Thor flu?
@tkimoro
No, he’s correct. This is a flu and a half.
dinathor.
Just imagine a castrated chihuahua in a gay little sweater, yipping at the mailman while remaining safely on the other side of the plate glass window.
That’s thor.
You’ll find his posts much less annoying if you conjure up that mental image every time you see one of them.
O.K. I’m flu! So flu you, you fluey flu floos!
That’s my Barney flu entry.
I’m reminded of the punchline from an old joke: “You’re thor? I’m tho thor I can barely pith!”
Diversiflu! Yes we can (die a horrible phlegm-choked death!)
Ok, from the Reuter’s article, this is cracking me up:
Israel has already rejected the name swine flu, and opted to call it “Mexico flu.” Jewish dietary laws forbid eating pork.
What’s a thor?
My Stedman’s says a thor is an incurable oozing rectal fistula.
It also says “See related – nishit”.
Let’s call the virus the while American workers lost wages and wealth and their pensions and their health care and their job security rethuglidums threw a faggy little tea party and pretended to be angry concerning their paying almost no money in taxes virus.
You can’t even effectively filibuster in the Senate. Hello! Here’s your football. You can go home now.
Ameriflu! And yes, we’re very, very sorry. We’ll do better now. We promise.
Do you like that one, sore?
We can keep this thread from being hijacked. Stay focused folks.
ίππος λευκός
(Or, don’t ride one.)
Oblivion requires focus, people! Rally cap time!
One Flu over the Chicken’s Nest?
That’s…strange.
There’s only one group of people still in the habit of calling pork — not pigs, but the stuff you put in your mouth — “swine.” And they don’t buy any.
For the rest of us, there’s a wall of archaism separating that word from our delicious bacon (or our delicious forbidden bacon).
I didn’t make the association until now. Did you? You didn’t.
(And the answer is Fluo. You make stuff Mexican by sticking an “o” on it.)
There is nothing forbidden about bacon, psycho. Bacon is its own food group.
So they don’t want to call it Swine Flue because that would hurt the pork industry but they feel free to demonize Wall Street, AIG, Walmart, Big Oil, Big Tobacco, and any other hated business of the week. Why the double standard?
[Teh] One Flu Over Ground Zero?
I said I was super cereal!
You could go Socialist Scourge, but people might confuse that with the 111th Congress.
Mr. Pink – Clearly it is because pork is the other white meat, and they are unrepentant racists.
You make stuff Mexican by sticking an “o†on it.
I’ve read an (apparently serious) academic paper on the alleged racism of doing that.
No shit.
Mr Pink — It’s because Congress *is* the pork industry.
[…] Snapshot of life in the Age of Obama: Napolitano seeks to avoid using verboten Schwein flu terminology for this non-man-caused disaster. It POs the pork industry. The Israelis don’t like it. But you can’t call it Mexican flu. Sounds like we need some Protein Wisdom. […]
I like “Perez Hilton Disease,” personally.
I will call it Obama flu if it ever shows up around here.
Mexican MANBIRDPIG flu it is! Because we cannot be upsetting Janet N now can we?
Mr. Monster,
the clip was awesome- I offer you my half:
My deep-
humbl-
apolog-
I like “Perez Hilton Disease,†personally.
Because this disease restults in terminal snarkiness?
Overblown Flu?
I don’t know what to call it, but surely we have a trillion bucks lying around somewhere to throw at it, right?
I’m totally stoked over ManBirdPig.
“Because this disease restults in terminal snarkiness?”
Well, you kind of have man/bird/swine all rolled into one there – and it would be amusing to see his name tied to a deadly pandemic disease for no good reason. Also, people would think you could get it from being gay, possibly by being gay with pigs. His rant about it would give me great pleasure.
So I guess Black Death is right out then?
Has someone yet tied ManBirdPig flu to
global warmingclimate change?According to Jeremiah Wright, Bacon Flu was manufactured in america to kill brown people.
When reached for comment, Kanye West noted “Bush is a #!#13 #!#%$!.”
It is to laugh.
Can we tie ManBirdPig flu to climate change? Yes We Can.
Kanye West likes fish sticks.
I don’t know whether it’s occurred to any of our rocket-scientist congresscritters, but it was called swine flu for a reason; pretty much the same reason that bird flu is called bird flu.
Mexicans bring automatic weapons across the border and have gun fights where death ensues: Misunderstood impoverished Mexicans
Mexicans bring a flu over the border that makes you cough and maybe kills you: Unwelcome Mexicans.
But I like Obama’s touching words: To the family of the infant who died I give my sincere condolences, and to those who have the swine flu as well.
Great. He just pre-condolenced a bunch of swine flu people. Sharp.
I like thor’s tactic so I’ll go with “The flu that is so intuitive, it waits for the dumbest president in American history to be elected before it strikes.”
Teleprompter flu
How ’bout “Undocumented Flu?”
Slartibartfast:
What about Asian flu, Spanish flu, Hong Kong flu etc.- named from whence said flu originated?
I actually don’t care. You can call this one H1N1 for all I care. It’s not wrong to call it swine flu, though; that’s a name that’s got precedent.
Fish sticks, yeah. I like to put em in my mouth.
Not wrong Slart, but perhaps scientifically clumsy, since ’twas genetically distinct bug what got the name of Swine flu back in the ’70’s. Why use precedent when it can (will?) lead to confusion?
Swine Flu II: Electric Boogaloo
This time it’s personal.
Well if I get the “Obama flu” I will then spend much time knelling in front of my “Feinstein” toilet. the one that has to be flushed 3 times to work.
Michigan, so little water here /sarc>, and so much time to flush, thanks Jenny.
Well if I get the “Obama flu” I will then spend much time kneeling in front of my “Feinstein” toilet. the one that has to be flushed 3 times to work.
Michigan, so little water here /sarc>, and so much time to flush, thanks Jenny.
whoa a double, sorry.
H1N1.. isn’t that the name of a droid from Star Wars?
microbial disaster causing anti-swine activity
True? I wouldn’t be surprised. I’d be mighty surprised if ANY virus back in the ’70s was genetically identical to its closest relative, today, unless care was taken to preserve it.
Viruses tend to mutate quite a lot.
“Spanish Flu” would probably be closest, now that I look, but we’re either going to be stuck with nicknames or we’re going to have to describe the fucker through some means more detailed and non-informationally cryptic than “H1N1”.
Change the ‘1’s to ‘i’s and call it “Hiney”.
“Spanish flu” suits as a naming model, why not? H1N1 tells us something about the shape of the critter (such as, it’s not H3N2, for instance), but not enough in its generality as to pin the thing down as distinct from other H1N1’s (the 1918 killer). Talk of Swine flu makes plenty of sense in the context of epidemiologists talking about various flu bugs infecting swine, but not so much when we start to talk about flu infecting humans. Attaching a place name of origin makes a kind of sense in a drive to a unique specific identifier (nickname?), since the world is so large. That of course doesn’t limit the further detail in characterization to be done but does supply the simple handle for reference people are going to want.
etiologically, it’s pigs where from the swine flu comes and there’s no way around that cause of science
Though, I should add for clarity what I overlooked, namely, that the place name ought to be more on the order of a town (Hong Kong) or district than a country (Spain/Mexico) or even a river (Hantan/Mississippi).
Oh, it’s the “2009 H1N1” now. That was easy.
Veracruz flu? La Gloria seems just wrong, somehow.
About 36,000 Americans die on average per year from the complications of flu.
that’s THE flu
the regular one
not the one our dirty socialist piece of shit president wants 1.5 BILLION dollars to … whatever the fuck the stupid shit thinks he’s gonna do … the regular old flu. I hope someone asks him tonight why he’s such a trashy goddamn fuckhead and who does he think he’s fooling.
Do we have any precedent for that, besides “Hong Kong”?
I can see it now: the dread Sheboygan Flu.
Just wait until we get another, unrelated H1N1 strain this year.
Hoboken Flu. This year, with even more hobo!
It is pretty cool how the trade protectionists will grab onto anything handy to halt progress though, ain’t it? Pigs? Oh no, can’t have pigs! That’ll be stopping yesterday.
Just to be OUTLAW!, I’m boldly and unashamedly linking to a Patterico post.
‘Cause that’s just the way I roll.
Jews don’t eat Swine, you know.
Reuters taught me how to insert totally irrelevant information, which could appear to be related but actually is in no way is, into my writing.
Whattaya think?
I think that “is in no way is” was a stroke of frackin’ genius, Carin.
Well, I guess ManBirdPig is wrong, because this one did just come from pigs
Insert cheerful emoticon, if the good-naturedness didn’t quite make it all the way.
Smithfield Flu!
Maybe that’s cleaner-sounding than “swine”.
Precisely what I suggested to my wife Monday night at Sonny’s Real Pit Barbecue in Athens, Georgia.
Were you there? You overheard me didn’t you? ADMIT IT!
Lookin’ a a major lawsuit from the Smithfield company, though.
It did come from near one of their farms, though. I think it’s justified.
They’re denying it, which naturally means they’re guilty as hell.
[/notserious]
some journalists have alleged
Too late, Slart. YOu are dead to me. DEAD. Like as if you caught the
swine, ManBirdPig,N1H1 2009 flu.wait
the Pew Commission on Industrial Farm Animal Production?
what. the. fuck. ever.
Yes, hf: the PCIFAP.
Carin: *sniffle*
I’ll forgive you if you say (repeat after me) “Tool is the bestest band eva is!”
Just like that.
I’ll be sitting here, listening to Pushit. Waiting.
Carin, to be perfectly fair, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Jew eat a Mexican, either. Then again, I don’t get around much.
Pew, PU
I’m just going to have to stay on your bad side, I guess. That, and do a lot more sparring.
Best to be prepared, in case there’s an ass-kicking waiting around the corner tomorrow, or next week.
You asked for it. When I catch up to you, I’m gonna hold you down and make you listen to “Prison Sex.” Then “Third Eye” which clocks-in over 13 minutes.
You know, the discouraging thing about sparring is I’m the only mid-level fighter in the group, and wind up having to fight a whole shitload of black belts and red belts. Which isn’t all that bad, but just when I start doing ok, they’re all like “hey, you’ve improved a lot”, and then they all kind of step things up a notch, and then once again I can’t lay a friggin’ hand on them. And then there’s the kid whose kicks are absolutely immaculate that can’t take his intensity meter much below 11. It’s all I can do to keep from being killed, sometimes, sparring with him.
And then there’s Matt, who can just casually and faster than you can blink, throw out a foot into what you cleverly recognize as a front snap kick, so you slip it and then all of a sudden it turns all axe-kicky on you. Hasn’t done that to me, yet, but it’s not like he couldn’t. The better ones can dial it down more reliably, which makes it all that much more shocking when I see them fight each other, and it just makes my jaw float down and rest against my sternum. Even Matt, as fast and skilled as he is, has a hard time against the head instructor. It’s really a treat to watch them go at it.
Good for the soul, I suppose. Every once in a while I land something on one of them and take that for the moral victory that it really is. Hell, there’s even a guy older than me who fights, and he kicks my ass. He’s won some national competitions, though, so not too upsetting.
Prison Sex I actually kind of like, Carin. The song, I mean.
Smokehouse flu!
I like the song too (of course) , but not as much as I enjoy their later stuff. Third Eye is actually one of my favorites. 13 minutes and 47 seconds of bliss.
Nice digital biology lady does digital biology with some help from her friends. In this one she queries genome sequences of pigs in Ohio and people in California and surprise, finds something her friends think warrants further study.
But, Slart, I don’t see how you can’t listen to Stinkfist because of its lyrics, but “Prison sex” is a good tune? Musically, Stinkfist is the better song.
What if we split the baby and called it the “Pale Mexican Flu?” I figure that as long as we make it clear that we’re blaming the Caucasian-er Mexican folks, we ought to be OK?
The 2009 H1N1
Dual Overhead Cam 3L V6, Independent Rear Suspension, Side Curtain Airbags….
make sure u wash your hands
after telephoning take out
I have lots and lots of sick days banked. I was saving them for cancer but I bet I wouldn’t need more than 5 of them to knock this flu thing out.
baby ruth bar out ass number two flu
brboa#2f
*Even Matt, as fast and skilled as he is*
I agree, I am indeed fast AND skilled.
patient zero
zamfir-master of the pan flute
Flu Man Group.
a subsidiary of giant American food company Smithfield Foods.
Ah. I’ve been waiting for the spin that somehow makes this the fault of the Yanquis.
Countdown to someone “discovering” a Bush/Cheney/Halliburton “connection” 3…2…1…
Pdbuttons – I thought it was Zanfir and the Skin Flute.
[…] more discussion on this important issue at Protein Wisdom, where Manbirdpig Flu seems to be the consensus. After bad jokes involving the name […]
[…] the meantime, much fun is being had at protein wisdom where Dan Collins is taking suggestions for what to rename the not-Swine Flu. The best suggestion, […]
Kung flu? It will kick your ass..
Does it really have to have a name? I usually just use “dude I got the flu or some shit, I am sick as a fucking dog” and people get the picture just fine.
I like recycyling “The Black Death” …or just “The Plague”
[…] Dan’s post from yesterday’s contest yielded this winning comment… […]
Federal income tax = 13.4%
Social Security tax = 6%
Medicare tax = 1.4%
State income tax = 3.1%
SUI/SDI tax = 1.1%
Mandatory employee health insurance = 10%
That comes up to 35% of my income in tax and government mandated bs. And yes I include the health insurance as it would be neither so expensive nor so mandatory without government action.
Spork, you left out the value of time/money spent in complying with tax laws and various economic regulation. Not only does that come out of your own budget, but it drives up the prices of everything we buy.
And since sales tax is assessed against retail price, we’re basically paying sales tax on red tape.