Officials want to remove the word “swine” from the name of the flu, for fear that it will hurt the pork industry. Mexican Flu is also not kosher, of course. MedFlu isn’t fair to medflies, either. Hannitizer Flu does seem unfair to Shawn Hannity, though it contains the handsanity that experts are recommending. I suggest Congressional Flu, or Murtha Flu, but feel free to suggest your own.
Heck, on second thought, who needs “flu” in there? Domesticated Animal Transmitted Health Concern will do.
Oh, and here’s an opportunity for Obama to emulate Bush, again.
UPDATE: Lots of good suggestions so far, but this one made me snort, kind of like a . . .
#
Comment by The Monster on 4/29 @ 6:47 am # |Edit This
The Paris-based World Organization for Animal Health also objected to the name, saying the virus contains avian and human components and no pig so far has been found ill with the disease.
To recognize these diverse components, there is but one name that can do it justice:
ManBirdPig.
Because it’s half human flu, half bird flu, and half swine flu. I’m super cereal.
UPDATE: Another possible name for the ManBirdPig Flu–
Comment by JD on 4/29 @ 6:36 am #
The Pelosi Pandemic?
The Specter Sickness?
The Fucking Mendoucheous Twatwaffle Flu?
Comment by Benedick on 4/29 @ 6:37 am #
It’s The Migrant Flu (a/k/a The Undocumented Flu; The Si Se Puede Flu; The Flu Doing Infections That American Flus Won’t Do).
Comment by Carin on 4/29 @ 6:45 am #
This shit isn’t funny anymore.
Comment by The Monster on 4/29 @ 6:47 am #
To recognize these diverse components, there is but one name that can do it justice:
ManBirdPig.
Because it’s half human flu, half bird flu, and half swine flu. I’m super cereal.
Comment by apotheosis on 4/29 @ 6:48 am #
Benedick - La Razafluenza?
Comment by Carin on 4/29 @ 6:52 am #
Monster wins. ManBirdPig Flu.
Comment by JD on 4/29 @ 6:52 am #
manbirdpig is the disease state for manbearpig.
Comment by thor on 4/29 @ 6:52 am #
How about the cowardly treasonous wealth plundering fuckin’ rethuglidum loser virus!
Or how about the go crawl under some brush cover and die like a mangy old dog you fuckin’ idiot rethuglidums virus.
Or the more specific America took a chainsaw to your political party and now you’re forever fucked virus.
Comment by JD on 4/29 @ 6:54 am #
Oh, Good Allah. Why have you not smoted thor?
Comment by tkimoro on 4/29 @ 7:01 am #
Monster’s is a great one but, dare I say, the math is wrong: 1/3’s!
But most likely along the lines of Benedict or Apotheosis: Illegal flu?
Comment by Matt on 4/29 @ 7:01 am #
I’m somewhat shocked it hasn’t been renamed “Bush flu” or “republican flu”.
On the downside, it doesn’t really infect pork ? Channeling happyfeet, I assume that means Megan mcCain is safe ?
Comment by Matt on 4/29 @ 7:02 am #
Also if we could identify somebody with a particular virulent strain and send them to thor’s mom’s house to breathe on him, that would be super.
Comment by SBP on 4/29 @ 7:03 am #
#8:
YIP!
YIP!
YIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIP!
YIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIP!
YIP!
Comment by Benedick on 4/29 @ 7:05 am #
What’s a thor?
Comment by Rob Crawford on 4/29 @ 7:06 am #
An open, unhealed wound.
Comment by tkimoro on 4/29 @ 7:06 am #
He’s a thor loser.
Thor flu?
Comment by Dan Collins on 4/29 @ 7:07 am #
@tkimoro
No, he’s correct. This is a flu and a half.
Comment by apotheosis on 4/29 @ 7:08 am #
dinathor.
Comment by SBP on 4/29 @ 7:09 am #
Just imagine a castrated chihuahua in a gay little sweater, yipping at the mailman while remaining safely on the other side of the plate glass window.
That’s thor.
You’ll find his posts much less annoying if you conjure up that mental image every time you see one of them.
Comment by tkimoro on 4/29 @ 7:14 am #
O.K. I’m flu! So flu you, you fluey flu floos!
That’s my Barney flu entry.
Comment by Benedick on 4/29 @ 7:15 am #
I’m reminded of the punchline from an old joke: “You’re thor? I’m tho thor I can barely pith!”
Comment by Pablo on 4/29 @ 7:18 am #
Diversiflu! Yes we can (die a horrible phlegm-choked death!)
Comment by Carin on 4/29 @ 7:23 am #
Ok, from the Reuter’s article, this is cracking me up:
Israel has already rejected the name swine flu, and opted to call it “Mexico flu.” Jewish dietary laws forbid eating pork.
Comment by JD on 4/29 @ 7:23 am #
What’s a thor?
My Stedman’s says a thor is an incurable oozing rectal fistula.
It also says “See related - nishit”.
Comment by thor on 4/29 @ 7:23 am #
Let’s call the virus the while American workers lost wages and wealth and their pensions and their health care and their job security rethuglidums threw a faggy little tea party and pretended to be angry concerning their paying almost no money in taxes virus.
You can’t even effectively filibuster in the Senate. Hello! Here’s your football. You can go home now.
Comment by Pablo on 4/29 @ 7:25 am #
Ameriflu! And yes, we’re very, very sorry. We’ll do better now. We promise.
Do you like that one, sore?
Comment by Carin on 4/29 @ 7:26 am #
We can keep this thread from being hijacked. Stay focused folks.
Comment by serr8d on 4/29 @ 7:28 am #
ίππος λευκός
(Or, don’t ride one.)
Comment by thor on 4/29 @ 7:29 am #
Oblivion requires focus, people! Rally cap time!
Comment by apotheosis on 4/29 @ 7:29 am #
One Flu over the Chicken’s Nest?
Comment by psycho... on 4/29 @ 7:32 am #
That’s…strange.
There’s only one group of people still in the habit of calling pork — not pigs, but the stuff you put in your mouth — “swine.” And they don’t buy any.
For the rest of us, there’s a wall of archaism separating that word from our delicious bacon (or our delicious forbidden bacon).
I didn’t make the association until now. Did you? You didn’t.
(And the answer is Fluo. You make stuff Mexican by sticking an “o” on it.)
Comment by JD on 4/29 @ 7:34 am #
There is nothing forbidden about bacon, psycho. Bacon is its own food group.
Comment by Mr. Pink on 4/29 @ 7:36 am #
So they don’t want to call it Swine Flue because that would hurt the pork industry but they feel free to demonize Wall Street, AIG, Walmart, Big Oil, Big Tobacco, and any other hated business of the week. Why the double standard?
Comment by Benedick on 4/29 @ 7:38 am #
[Teh] One Flu Over Ground Zero?
Comment by The Monster on 4/29 @ 7:38 am #
I said I was super cereal!
Comment by smitty on 4/29 @ 7:39 am #
You could go Socialist Scourge, but people might confuse that with the 111th Congress.
Comment by JD on 4/29 @ 7:39 am #
Mr. Pink - Clearly it is because pork is the other white meat, and they are unrepentant racists.
Comment by SBP on 4/29 @ 7:40 am #
You make stuff Mexican by sticking an “o†on it.
I’ve read an (apparently serious) academic paper on the alleged racism of doing that.
No shit.
Comment by Squid on 4/29 @ 7:41 am #
Mr Pink — It’s because Congress *is* the pork industry.
Pingback by Jules Crittenden » 100 Days! on 4/29 @ 7:44 am #
[...] Snapshot of life in the Age of Obama: Napolitano seeks to avoid using verboten Schwein flu terminology for this non-man-caused disaster. It POs the pork industry. The Israelis don’t like it. But you can’t call it Mexican flu. Sounds like we need some Protein Wisdom. [...]
Comment by Alec Leamas on 4/29 @ 7:57 am #
I like “Perez Hilton Disease,” personally.
Comment by SarahW on 4/29 @ 8:04 am #
I will call it Obama flu if it ever shows up around here.
Comment by Joe on 4/29 @ 8:11 am #
Mexican MANBIRDPIG flu it is! Because we cannot be upsetting Janet N now can we?
Comment by tkimoro on 4/29 @ 8:11 am #
Mr. Monster,
the clip was awesome- I offer you my half:
My deep-
humbl-
apolog-
Comment by Joe on 4/29 @ 8:13 am #
I like “Perez Hilton Disease,†personally.
Because this disease restults in terminal snarkiness?
Comment by urthshu on 4/29 @ 8:14 am #
Overblown Flu?
Comment by Jeffersonian on 4/29 @ 8:15 am #
I don’t know what to call it, but surely we have a trillion bucks lying around somewhere to throw at it, right?
Comment by mojo on 4/29 @ 8:16 am #
I’m totally stoked over ManBirdPig.
Comment by Alec Leamas on 4/29 @ 8:24 am #
“Because this disease restults in terminal snarkiness?”
Well, you kind of have man/bird/swine all rolled into one there - and it would be amusing to see his name tied to a deadly pandemic disease for no good reason. Also, people would think you could get it from being gay, possibly by being gay with pigs. His rant about it would give me great pleasure.
Comment by N. O'Brain on 4/29 @ 8:27 am #
So I guess Black Death is right out then?
Comment by Carin on 4/29 @ 8:36 am #
Has someone yet tied ManBirdPig flu to
global warmingclimate change?Comment by Matt on 4/29 @ 8:39 am #
According to Jeremiah Wright, Bacon Flu was manufactured in america to kill brown people.
Comment by Wewonsuckit on 4/29 @ 8:40 am #
When reached for comment, Kanye West noted “Bush is a #!#13 #!#%$!.”
Comment by Carin on 4/29 @ 8:40 am #
It is to laugh.
Can we tie ManBirdPig flu to climate change? Yes We Can.
Comment by Benedick on 4/29 @ 8:42 am #
Kanye West likes fish sticks.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 4/29 @ 8:44 am #
I don’t know whether it’s occurred to any of our rocket-scientist congresscritters, but it was called swine flu for a reason; pretty much the same reason that bird flu is called bird flu.
Comment by alppuccino on 4/29 @ 8:48 am #
Mexicans bring automatic weapons across the border and have gun fights where death ensues: Misunderstood impoverished Mexicans
Mexicans bring a flu over the border that makes you cough and maybe kills you: Unwelcome Mexicans.
But I like Obama’s touching words: To the family of the infant who died I give my sincere condolences, and to those who have the swine flu as well.
Great. He just pre-condolenced a bunch of swine flu people. Sharp.
I like thor’s tactic so I’ll go with “The flu that is so intuitive, it waits for the dumbest president in American history to be elected before it strikes.”
Comment by alppuccino on 4/29 @ 8:52 am #
Teleprompter flu
Comment by Alec Leamas on 4/29 @ 8:53 am #
How ’bout “Undocumented Flu?”
Comment by tkimoro on 4/29 @ 8:54 am #
Slartibartfast:
What about Asian flu, Spanish flu, Hong Kong flu etc.- named from whence said flu originated?
Comment by Slartibartfast on 4/29 @ 9:04 am #
I actually don’t care. You can call this one H1N1 for all I care. It’s not wrong to call it swine flu, though; that’s a name that’s got precedent.
Comment by Kanye is a genius on 4/29 @ 9:05 am #
Fish sticks, yeah. I like to put em in my mouth.
Comment by Sdferr on 4/29 @ 9:13 am #
Not wrong Slart, but perhaps scientifically clumsy, since ’twas genetically distinct bug what got the name of Swine flu back in the ’70’s. Why use precedent when it can (will?) lead to confusion?
Comment by Dan Collins on 4/29 @ 9:14 am #
Swine Flu II: Electric Boogaloo
Comment by Jeffersonian on 4/29 @ 9:17 am #
This time it’s personal.
Comment by geoffb on 4/29 @ 9:23 am #
Well if I get the “Obama flu” I will then spend much time knelling in front of my “Feinstein” toilet. the one that has to be flushed 3 times to work.
Michigan, so little water here /sarc>, and so much time to flush, thanks Jenny.
Comment by geoffb on 4/29 @ 9:23 am #
Well if I get the “Obama flu” I will then spend much time kneeling in front of my “Feinstein” toilet. the one that has to be flushed 3 times to work.
Michigan, so little water here /sarc>, and so much time to flush, thanks Jenny.
Comment by geoffb on 4/29 @ 9:24 am #
whoa a double, sorry.
Comment by Dave C on 4/29 @ 9:28 am #
H1N1.. isn’t that the name of a droid from Star Wars?
Comment by Ernst Schreiber on 4/29 @ 9:29 am #
microbial disaster causing anti-swine activity
Comment by Slartibartfast on 4/29 @ 9:37 am #
True? I wouldn’t be surprised. I’d be mighty surprised if ANY virus back in the ’70s was genetically identical to its closest relative, today, unless care was taken to preserve it.
Viruses tend to mutate quite a lot.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 4/29 @ 9:41 am #
“Spanish Flu” would probably be closest, now that I look, but we’re either going to be stuck with nicknames or we’re going to have to describe the fucker through some means more detailed and non-informationally cryptic than “H1N1″.
Comment by Rob Crawford on 4/29 @ 10:00 am #
Change the ‘1’s to ‘i’s and call it “Hiney”.
Comment by Sdferr on 4/29 @ 10:00 am #
“Spanish flu” suits as a naming model, why not? H1N1 tells us something about the shape of the critter (such as, it’s not H3N2, for instance), but not enough in its generality as to pin the thing down as distinct from other H1N1’s (the 1918 killer). Talk of Swine flu makes plenty of sense in the context of epidemiologists talking about various flu bugs infecting swine, but not so much when we start to talk about flu infecting humans. Attaching a place name of origin makes a kind of sense in a drive to a unique specific identifier (nickname?), since the world is so large. That of course doesn’t limit the further detail in characterization to be done but does supply the simple handle for reference people are going to want.
Comment by happyfeet on 4/29 @ 10:07 am #
etiologically, it’s pigs where from the swine flu comes and there’s no way around that cause of science
Comment by Sdferr on 4/29 @ 10:09 am #
Though, I should add for clarity what I overlooked, namely, that the place name ought to be more on the order of a town (Hong Kong) or district than a country (Spain/Mexico) or even a river (Hantan/Mississippi).
Comment by Pablo on 4/29 @ 10:12 am #
Oh, it’s the “2009 H1N1″ now. That was easy.
Comment by Sdferr on 4/29 @ 10:15 am #
Veracruz flu? La Gloria seems just wrong, somehow.
Comment by happyfeet on 4/29 @ 10:16 am #
About 36,000 Americans die on average per year from the complications of flu.
that’s THE flu
the regular one
not the one our dirty socialist piece of shit president wants 1.5 BILLION dollars to … whatever the fuck the stupid shit thinks he’s gonna do … the regular old flu. I hope someone asks him tonight why he’s such a trashy goddamn fuckhead and who does he think he’s fooling.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 4/29 @ 10:17 am #
Do we have any precedent for that, besides “Hong Kong”?
I can see it now: the dread Sheboygan Flu.
Just wait until we get another, unrelated H1N1 strain this year.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 4/29 @ 10:18 am #
Hoboken Flu. This year, with even more hobo!
Comment by Sdferr on 4/29 @ 10:23 am #
It is pretty cool how the trade protectionists will grab onto anything handy to halt progress though, ain’t it? Pigs? Oh no, can’t have pigs! That’ll be stopping yesterday.
Comment by mojo on 4/29 @ 10:29 am #
Just to be OUTLAW!, I’m boldly and unashamedly linking to a Patterico post.
‘Cause that’s just the way I roll.
Comment by Carin on 4/29 @ 10:31 am #
Jews don’t eat Swine, you know.
Reuters taught me how to insert totally irrelevant information, which could appear to be related but actually is in no way is, into my writing.
Whattaya think?
Comment by Slartibartfast on 4/29 @ 10:35 am #
I think that “is in no way is” was a stroke of frackin’ genius, Carin.
Comment by The Monster on 4/29 @ 10:36 am #
Well, I guess ManBirdPig is wrong, because this one did just come from pigs
Comment by Slartibartfast on 4/29 @ 10:36 am #
Insert cheerful emoticon, if the good-naturedness didn’t quite make it all the way.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 4/29 @ 10:37 am #
Smithfield Flu!
Comment by Slartibartfast on 4/29 @ 10:38 am #
Maybe that’s cleaner-sounding than “swine”.
Comment by McGehee on 4/29 @ 10:39 am #
Precisely what I suggested to my wife Monday night at Sonny’s Real Pit Barbecue in Athens, Georgia.
Were you there? You overheard me didn’t you? ADMIT IT!
Comment by mojo on 4/29 @ 10:39 am #
Lookin’ a a major lawsuit from the Smithfield company, though.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 4/29 @ 10:40 am #
It did come from near one of their farms, though. I think it’s justified.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 4/29 @ 10:41 am #
They’re denying it, which naturally means they’re guilty as hell.
[/notserious]
Comment by happyfeet on 4/29 @ 10:43 am #
some journalists have alleged
Comment by Carin on 4/29 @ 10:43 am #
Too late, Slart. YOu are dead to me. DEAD. Like as if you caught the
swine, ManBirdPig,N1H1 2009 flu.Comment by happyfeet on 4/29 @ 10:43 am #
wait
Comment by happyfeet on 4/29 @ 10:44 am #
the Pew Commission on Industrial Farm Animal Production?
Comment by happyfeet on 4/29 @ 10:44 am #
what. the. fuck. ever.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 4/29 @ 10:47 am #
Yes, hf: the PCIFAP.
Carin: *sniffle*
Comment by Carin on 4/29 @ 10:52 am #
I’ll forgive you if you say (repeat after me) “Tool is the bestest band eva is!”
Just like that.
Comment by Carin on 4/29 @ 10:57 am #
I’ll be sitting here, listening to Pushit. Waiting.
Comment by comatus on 4/29 @ 10:59 am #
Carin, to be perfectly fair, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Jew eat a Mexican, either. Then again, I don’t get around much.
Comment by geoffb on 4/29 @ 11:03 am #
Pew, PU
Comment by Slartibartfast on 4/29 @ 11:13 am #
I’m just going to have to stay on your bad side, I guess. That, and do a lot more sparring.
Best to be prepared, in case there’s an ass-kicking waiting around the corner tomorrow, or next week.
Comment by Carin on 4/29 @ 11:19 am #
You asked for it. When I catch up to you, I’m gonna hold you down and make you listen to “Prison Sex.” Then “Third Eye” which clocks-in over 13 minutes.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 4/29 @ 11:24 am #
You know, the discouraging thing about sparring is I’m the only mid-level fighter in the group, and wind up having to fight a whole shitload of black belts and red belts. Which isn’t all that bad, but just when I start doing ok, they’re all like “hey, you’ve improved a lot”, and then they all kind of step things up a notch, and then once again I can’t lay a friggin’ hand on them. And then there’s the kid whose kicks are absolutely immaculate that can’t take his intensity meter much below 11. It’s all I can do to keep from being killed, sometimes, sparring with him.
And then there’s Matt, who can just casually and faster than you can blink, throw out a foot into what you cleverly recognize as a front snap kick, so you slip it and then all of a sudden it turns all axe-kicky on you. Hasn’t done that to me, yet, but it’s not like he couldn’t. The better ones can dial it down more reliably, which makes it all that much more shocking when I see them fight each other, and it just makes my jaw float down and rest against my sternum. Even Matt, as fast and skilled as he is, has a hard time against the head instructor. It’s really a treat to watch them go at it.
Good for the soul, I suppose. Every once in a while I land something on one of them and take that for the moral victory that it really is. Hell, there’s even a guy older than me who fights, and he kicks my ass. He’s won some national competitions, though, so not too upsetting.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 4/29 @ 11:25 am #
Prison Sex I actually kind of like, Carin. The song, I mean.
Comment by N. O'Brain on 4/29 @ 11:30 am #
Smokehouse flu!
Comment by Carin on 4/29 @ 11:30 am #
I like the song too (of course) , but not as much as I enjoy their later stuff. Third Eye is actually one of my favorites. 13 minutes and 47 seconds of bliss.
Comment by Sdferr on 4/29 @ 11:34 am #
Nice digital biology lady does digital biology with some help from her friends. In this one she queries genome sequences of pigs in Ohio and people in California and surprise, finds something her friends think warrants further study.
Comment by Carin on 4/29 @ 11:42 am #
But, Slart, I don’t see how you can’t listen to Stinkfist because of its lyrics, but “Prison sex” is a good tune? Musically, Stinkfist is the better song.
Comment by Alec Leamas on 4/29 @ 11:42 am #
What if we split the baby and called it the “Pale Mexican Flu?” I figure that as long as we make it clear that we’re blaming the Caucasian-er Mexican folks, we ought to be OK?
Comment by RTO Trainer on 4/29 @ 11:44 am #
The 2009 H1N1
Dual Overhead Cam 3L V6, Independent Rear Suspension, Side Curtain Airbags….
Comment by pdbuttons on 4/29 @ 11:58 am #
make sure u wash your hands
after telephoning take out
Comment by happyfeet on 4/29 @ 12:04 pm #
I have lots and lots of sick days banked. I was saving them for cancer but I bet I wouldn’t need more than 5 of them to knock this flu thing out.
Comment by pdbuttons on 4/29 @ 12:10 pm #
baby ruth bar out ass number two flu
Comment by pdbuttons on 4/29 @ 12:12 pm #
brboa#2f
Comment by Matt on 4/29 @ 12:23 pm #
*Even Matt, as fast and skilled as he is*
I agree, I am indeed fast AND skilled.
Comment by pdbuttons on 4/29 @ 1:23 pm #
patient zero
zamfir-master of the pan flute
Comment by bigbooner on 4/29 @ 1:53 pm #
Flu Man Group.
Comment by SBP on 4/29 @ 4:39 pm #
a subsidiary of giant American food company Smithfield Foods.
Ah. I’ve been waiting for the spin that somehow makes this the fault of the Yanquis.
Countdown to someone “discovering” a Bush/Cheney/Halliburton “connection” 3…2…1…
Comment by JD on 4/29 @ 4:56 pm #
Pdbuttons - I thought it was Zanfir and the Skin Flute.
Pingback by This headline brought to you by the people finding TrogloPundit by googling “swine flew†« The TrogloPundit on 4/29 @ 5:13 pm #
[...] more discussion on this important issue at Protein Wisdom, where Manbirdpig Flu seems to be the consensus. After bad jokes involving the name [...]
Pingback by If It’s Not Swine Flu, What Is It? : The Sundries Shack on 4/29 @ 7:00 pm #
[...] the meantime, much fun is being had at protein wisdom where Dan Collins is taking suggestions for what to rename the not-Swine Flu. The best suggestion, [...]
Comment by Swen Swenson on 4/29 @ 8:21 pm #
Kung flu? It will kick your ass..
Comment by B Moe on 4/30 @ 4:29 am #
Does it really have to have a name? I usually just use “dude I got the flu or some shit, I am sick as a fucking dog” and people get the picture just fine.
Comment by jim f on 4/30 @ 7:54 am #
I like recycyling “The Black Death” …or just “The Plague”
Pingback by Tennesseefree.com » ManBirdPig Flu on 4/30 @ 8:22 am #
[...] Dan’s post from yesterday’s contest yielded this winning comment… [...]
Comment by SporkLift Driver on 4/30 @ 9:53 am #
Federal income tax = 13.4%
Social Security tax = 6%
Medicare tax = 1.4%
State income tax = 3.1%
SUI/SDI tax = 1.1%
Mandatory employee health insurance = 10%
That comes up to 35% of my income in tax and government mandated bs. And yes I include the health insurance as it would be neither so expensive nor so mandatory without government action.
Comment by McGehee on 4/30 @ 12:13 pm #
Spork, you left out the value of time/money spent in complying with tax laws and various economic regulation. Not only does that come out of your own budget, but it drives up the prices of everything we buy.
And since sales tax is assessed against retail price, we’re basically paying sales tax on red tape.