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NFL Draft [Dan Collins]

Every year, as the combine approaches, we get talking heads and pundits talking about the inexact science of draft boards, drafting for need or for quality, the risks and potential upsides of various players looking to move from college to the NFL. It’s ever the case, too, that many teams will be looking to find a franchise quarterback who’s going to lead them out of the wilderness. Probably more than any position, the quarterback position sees a lot of motion on the boards, people apparently inexplicably rising or falling a great deal based on a small sample, and that is because good quarterbacks are coveted more than players at any other position.

So, here we are, having drafted this Obama fellow on the basis of the upside, having found that the free agency market offered next to nothing once again (Vaclav Klaus having been taken), and not wanting to put in a career journeyman who has no arm strength. We took the plunge, and the candidate appeared to have a great deal of self-assurance in his abilities, and people thought that he did fairly well on the Wonderlic Test of relative retardation. Suddenly, though, it’s coming to our attention that he played in an option offense at Chicago, and that it may take quite a while before he’s ready to play a pro set.

Simplify the playbook?

His back up is a punter.

31 Replies to “NFL Draft [Dan Collins]”

  1. pdbuttons says:

    the only fantasy draft i’m involved in
    does nt include 2nd grade dropouts
    unless she got a double-wide

  2. Carin says:

    The voters are William Clay Ford?

  3. Joe says:

    Barack Obama = Donovan McNabb? We are all so fucked.

  4. Cowboy says:

    He’s Ryan Leaf–without the arm.

  5. cranky-d says:

    If Barack were even Donovan McNabb I’d feel better. He’s Ryan Leaf.

  6. cranky-d says:

    damn you, Cowboy!

  7. Cowboy says:

    …and Rahm Emanuel is Jeff George.

  8. JD says:

    Aye, captain. We would do well to even have a Ryan Leaf in there. It strikes me as so similar to when my Colts had the choice to pick Peyton or Ryan Leaf. Go back to the day before that draft, and Leaf was the popular pick, he had the buzz, the heat. Peyton was the safe conservative choice. Thank Allah we took Peyton, and damn you all to hell for putting Ryan fuckin Leaf in the half-White House.

  9. Dan Collins says:

    Are you saying he doesn’t realize Obama is black, Cowboy?

  10. JD says:

    Cowboy – Barcky could easily be Tony Mandarich or Sam Bouie.

    I have met Jeff George, and went to college with him. Comparing Rahmbo is so unfair to Jeff, though he was never a great lockerroom guy.

  11. Mr. Pink says:

    Obama=Jason Campbell

    Trade away 3 draft picks to move up in the draft to nab him. 5 years and 4 offensive coordinators later he still is not producing. Also, if he gets sacked once his mouth starts hanging open and he starts playing like crap. His Wonderlikt score was low as hell from what I heard too.

  12. Cowboy says:

    Wait a minute, O’s half-black?

    Well, then the half of him that’s white is just like Ryan Leaf.

    Without the arm…and without the finely honed sense of good conduct.

  13. Cowboy says:

    OK, JD, I’ll cede to your first-hand knowledge of things “Georgian.” My fan’s experience with him was frustrating, to say the least.

  14. Cowboy says:

    Besides, Obama is really the prototypical wide receiver. Wide receivers are very socialist–take passes from other players and redistribute them to ME!!

  15. Dan Collins says:

    Wasn’t he from Indiana?

  16. Cowboy says:

    TO, BO–ever seen them together?

    Case closed.

  17. Mr. Pink says:

    Obama: “I love me some me.”

  18. JD says:

    Barcky is more like a wide receiver, and TO is a great analogy. They want the glory, the spotlight, the adulation, and their personal success is more important than that of the team.

  19. JD says:

    Yes, Dan. He was from IN, still lives here.

  20. Matt says:

    Somebody tell Ayres to go long and make his GD cuts.

    Personally, I’d prefer one of Michael Vicks dogs to Obama.

  21. Ric Locke says:

    Relevant, though not sport-related: Kate at SDA has found something interesting.

    Hahavahd, we hahdly knew ye —

    Regards,
    Ric

  22. Dan Collins says:

    That’s great, Ric.

    Hey, whom do you like in the Supreme Being election?

  23. Ric Locke says:

    I’m not registered to vote for Supreme Being, Dan.

    Something about disqualifying convictions.

    Regards,
    Ric

  24. JD says:

    I thought Ear Leader, Teh One, already won that election.

  25. MarkD says:

    BO=TO? I guess this means Buffalo is doomed. Again. Still.

    This time we’ve got company.

  26. bill says:

    Mr. Pink, Don’t be downing Jason Campbell. He at least has potential. Now JP Losman is a good analogy. Whatever he does when he comes in the game will be wrong. Count on it; he consistently makes bad plays, even inventing new methods of losing games.
    I think a really good analogy for Obama is University of Arizona basketball player, Jamelle Horne. Early in the year , his team was tied as time expired in the game. He fouled an opposing player with one second left at half court. The player made a free throw to win the game. Everyone said, “What in the world was he thinking?” Media accounts said he was chastened by his stupidity. So what did he do? He did the same thing again to lose another game! That’s Obama. The economy is on life support. Hell, let’s try the old Socialist Hail Mary.
    It’s never worked anywhere else, but it might here. Maybe that’s who Obama resembles, Doug Flutie. Make one lucky throw and then gravy train off it the rest of your career while you suck. C’mon guys you remember that speech I made at the 2004 convention.

  27. Bob Reed says:

    Excellent analogy Dan…

    Obama’s just another player who excelled in the provincial universe where talent was limited…

    My predicition? He’ll never make it in the big leagues…

    I Hope Obama Fails, So That America Can Succeed!

  28. Dawn W says:

    BHO = Neil O’Donnell
    GWB = Jake Delhomme
    WJC = Kenny Stabler

  29. RTO Trainer says:

    BO *is* TO. Both of them lead their respective league in drops.

  30. pdbuttons says:

    ruht roh

Comments are closed.