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This Post Isn’t Really About Kate Beckinsale [Dan Collins]

But when my sons watch the Underworld movies, I don’t mind watching her perform acts of ultra-violence in a tight leather catsuit. Since I’m old, though, I save my fantasies for the way she says “monster.” I’d just love to have Kate Beckinsale call me “monster” in that posh accent.

In a similar way, I enjoy reading David Thompson report on eurenviroweenies:

Note how those who don’t share Mr Hundal’s “hardline” enthusiasm for environmentalist vandals are waved away contemptuously as “Middle England.” But a dislike of Plane Stupid’s disruptive methods and freewheeling approach to facts isn’t confined to uptight ladies of the shires. The Sun – hardly a paper of choice for the bejeweled bourgeoisie – referred to Plane Stupid as “upper crusties,” with readers describing the group as “morons,” “wasters” and “pampered useless objects” who deserved “six months in jail” and “a bloody good thrashing.” The group’s spokeswoman, Lily Kember, was singled out for attention as a “snotty little cow.” So at what point exactly does the Sun readership become “Middle England”? Is it perhaps the point at which they start to disagree with Mr Hundal and his fellow Guardianistas? Is that when the working class becomes the enemy of the left?

Civility NOW!!!

At the WSJ, Holman Jenkins should stop blithering and just spit out what’s on his mind:

Never was it a good idea to have a financial crisis in the middle of a presidential election. Involving Congress was a mistake. Letting the technical matter of keeping the banks afloat become a political football was a terrible idea. Letting our willingness to deploy giant sums of taxpayer money become the measure of credibility was a disaster. Letting all this be sold on Capitol Hill amid shrieks about the country collapsing into a Second Great Depression was a confidence killer across the economy, which until that point had held up well.  (h/t Gerry G.)

Wagyu!

Pippa Passes

David responds: “I’m ever so slightly unnerved by the comparison with Kate Beckinsale in a tight leather catsuit.”

Let me make clear that it’s a matter of enunciation. Delicious, heteronormative enunciation.

28 Replies to “This Post Isn’t Really About Kate Beckinsale [Dan Collins]”

  1. Joe says:

    Vampires don’t do it. They just do that rave escasty shit and rub on each other. Now werewolves? They like to get it on!

  2. Dan Collins says:

    Yeah, but who wants to see otherwise hot chicks with hair on their chests?

  3. Joe says:

    That can be a problem. And by the time you go through the grooming, plucking, and waxing–you are both too tired to get it on anyway.

  4. Dan Collins says:

    My heart is with the Lycans, really. They seem so Irish. But I’d rather live in the mansion and get it on with teh hot Vampyre ladies.

  5. Bob Reed says:

    Jenkins better wacth it,

    He’s coming dangerously close to criticizing the democrats and the one!

    Doesn’t he realize that’s borderline hate speech?

    Or blasphemy, or something like that…

    Just anither exhibit for Bill Press and his fairness doctrine crew to extend it to encompass racists, h8ter papaer like WSJ…

  6. Dan Collins says:

    Except for the hickeys, of course.

  7. happyfeet says:

    No. Kate and Scott did it in the second one that wasn’t as good as the first one… it was gratuitous and awkward and it had that sort of icky gloss of her being filmed by her husband.

  8. geoffb says:

    This Post Isn’t Really About Kate Beckinsale

    Yes but it makes a wonderful excuse for a picture. Dan, PW’s Theo.

  9. cranky-d says:

    She isn’t in the latest Underworld movie. I’m still trying to figure out why they made it.

  10. cranky-d says:

    I mean, if she isn’t in it, why would I watch it? Marketing, people! It’s like putting Summer Glau in the Terminator teevee show; I first started watching just because she was in it.

  11. happyfeet says:

    It’s actually doing fairly well, cranky. I was kinda surprised. It’s been huge on video, but I really would’ve thought the second one had sort of not done the franchise any favors. Maybe it was just me.

  12. Dan Collins says:

    I swear, it was the way she says “monster,” hf.

  13. happyfeet says:

    The first one was brilliant. But yeah her monster is just like Angelina’s absolutely in the first Lara Croft I think.

  14. cranky-d says:

    I thought “Underworld Evolution” was okay, but then again, I have a really low threshold for those kinds of movies. Or any movie that is made these days, really. It’s much easier to find something really good on TCM than it is to try to find something good at a theater.

  15. Sdferr says:

    I forget where it was I saw it but there was a side-by-side of films that made the Oscar nomination lists in the years 1981 and 2007. Just kinda made me shake my head in wonder at what happened.

  16. N. O'Brain says:

    She makes me feel funny in the pants.

  17. McGehee says:

    Well, you’d look pretty funny in those pants.

    What…?

    Oh. Sorry.

  18. I preferred this Kate Beckinsale a lot more than the surly, angry version in the cheesy Underworld movies

    http://www.movieforum.com/movies/titles/muchadoaboutnothing/images/heroclaudio.jpg

  19. JD says:

    That new show with Eliza Dushku is supposed to be good. Actually, I have no fucking idea if it is supposed to be any good, but if Sweet Eliza is in it, I am going to watch it.

  20. cranky-d says:

    Dollhouse, JD. I’ll watch it a few more times to be sure, but the first episode was meh.

  21. JD says:

    Clearly, you are blind. She could read me every post and comment from Day 1 of the Koz Kiddiez, and I would be spellbound.

  22. cranky-d says:

    She doesn’t click for me. I really don’t know why.

  23. JD says:

    Good, less competition for me ;-)

  24. mojo says:

    I liked her better in “Alice in Wonderland”.

    But then, I’m a sick little puppy.

  25. Rob Crawford says:

    Christopher Taylor — Oh, that was a good movie. I didn’t even have any objections to Keanu Reeves’ acting!

  26. JD says:

    Christopher and Rob C – Could not agree more. I enjoyed Senor Branaugh much in that one.

  27. Actually Canoe’s crappy acting was perfect for the part, the entire play is about crappy acting, lame plots, and weak, overwrought, pretentious, and contrived plays. He was perfect for the role, like having an obviously black man brother to the whitest guy in the play. And Kate never looked so good.

  28. kabuto says:

    you so beautiful i love you can you married me?k

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