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November 13, 2008
Another moment of unabashed OUTLAW pragmatism
My internist told me I’d best hold off on the peppers, but sorry, a turkey and avocado sandwich without sliced jalapenos is nothing more than a yuppie muffin with smoked bird meat. And I wouldn’t be caught dead with that in my saddle bag. No, I’ll take my chances with the flatulence, thanks. 75 Comments ::: Post a comment »RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI: http://proteinwisdom.com/wp-trackback.php?p=13650 Leave a commentIf you want to leave a feedback to this post or to some other user´s comment, simply fill out the form below. |
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Comment by Slartibartfast on 11/13 @ 2:39 pm #
Mmmmm….yuppie muffins.
Comment by JohnAnnArbor on 11/13 @ 2:41 pm #
Light a candle, Jeff.
Comment by BumperStickerist on 11/13 @ 2:43 pm #
Internist?
Saddle bag?
Hair cut?
Hmmm…………………
Jeff G. – Too old to rock and roll: too young to die.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0dsIeJ2EZU&feature=related
Comment by BJTexs on 11/13 @ 2:46 pm #
FOR THE GLOBAL CLIMATE WARMING DENIALISTS!!!
Save the planet, Jeff! Embrace the bland and low fiber!
Comment by baxtrice on 11/13 @ 2:49 pm #
Don’t forget the Tabasco sauce. You can’t be OUTLAW without it!
Comment by Mossberg500 on 11/13 @ 2:50 pm #
Better to fa…oh you know the rest!
Comment by pdbuttons on 11/13 @ 2:51 pm #
i like to shoot the people who wait in lines for their muffins
from my tower
in texas
cuz they call thems muffins in texas
texas muffins[everythings bigger in texas yo!]
and /with obesity such a problem -rampant-problem
i just figured…i was doing this country a BIG favor
and my story shall be told
from lil obama camps to lil obama camps across this obamaland
i am immortal!
Comment by Big E on 11/13 @ 3:01 pm #
“My internist told me I’d best hold off on the peppers, but sorry, a turkey and avocado sandwich without sliced jalapenos is nothing more than a yuppie muffin with smoked bird meat.”
Jeff, I hate to tell you this but your “internist” is probably a communist.
Comment by The Sanity Inspector on 11/13 @ 3:14 pm #
Outlaw flatulence, hmmmm….
Comment by charles austin on 11/13 @ 3:16 pm #
A man’s gotta poo what a man’s gotta poo.
Comment by Mikey NTH on 11/13 @ 3:16 pm #
OT: Mom had her surgery yesterday. The lump was removed and no cancer has been found. Updates as they become available.
Comment by TheUnrepentantGeek on 11/13 @ 3:20 pm #
Behold the eloquence of farts in the great Bill Buckley tradition.
Comment by The Sanity Inspector on 11/13 @ 3:22 pm #
Great news, Mikey; give our best to her.
Comment by mojo on 11/13 @ 3:26 pm #
Whew!… (waves hand)
Who cut the cheese?
Comment by Puck on 11/13 @ 3:29 pm #
My grandfather swore that drinking whiskey and eating hot peppers in large quantities kept him and his dad from getting the Spanish flu. My husband firmly believes that drinking scotch and eating lots of hot peppers kept him from getting the stomach virus that put me and my daughter out of commission for the last few days.
So, you have that going for you. Which is nice.
Comment by Big E on 11/13 @ 3:39 pm #
Puck,
Your great-grandfather, grandfather and husband seem like very wise men. I’m getting the impression that whiskey and hot peppers are the new apple (as in keeping the Doctor away). I couldn’t possibly be more pleased.
Comment by N. O'Brain on 11/13 @ 3:40 pm #
Matt the Marine is on his way.
Semper Fi, son.
Comment by Roland THTG on 11/13 @ 3:42 pm #
Hot peppers is the fifth food group.
Scotch is in there somewhere as well.
That’s OUTLAW food right there. Make them libtard fuckers shrivel up in a little ball on the floor. Like putting water on a witch.
Comment by Roland THTG on 11/13 @ 3:43 pm #
God Bless and God Speed MTM.
Comment by Mossberg500 on 11/13 @ 3:47 pm #
[SALUTES TO] MATT
Comment by pdbuttons on 11/13 @ 3:49 pm #
shaq to kobe
“hows my ass taste?”
but i give kobe credit /when he was interviewed by cris collinworth at the olympics and said how proud he was to represent this country
so kobe
i luv y
paul pierce called
he’s sending a delivery….
his ass- buttercup!
dessert? some freaky erotic cake
you want a taste?
Comment by BJTexs on 11/13 @ 3:50 pm #
Semper Fi and Godspeed to Matt. Peace and comfort to his family.
Comment by Dan Are on 11/13 @ 3:56 pm #
If you light them, does that make you carbon neutral?
Comment by Jeff G. on 11/13 @ 4:00 pm #
Sometimes I leave a little bit of my carbon footprint right there in my Hanes with comfort soft waistband.
What? Too much?
Comment by happyfeet on 11/13 @ 4:09 pm #
I remember that tower in Texas even though all that happened forever ago. On campus I always knew when I was in line of sight from there. It wasn’t just a me thing. There’s something snipery about that tower what attracted Charlie in the first place I think. This is not a good off to Afghanistan story I don’t think. But my lunch stories are all weird now cause sales tax is soon to be over 10% here and I am very very conflicted about going out to lunch. You can lunch and tithe at the same time here. God these people.
Comment by Puck on 11/13 @ 4:09 pm #
Heartfelt thanks to Matt the Marine. Thanks seem rather feeble, but it’s all I got.
Jeff G. – yes, a bit too much.
Comment by Dan Are on 11/13 @ 4:11 pm #
Your public isn’t that fecal.
Honestly, first time I saw one lit, I nearly soiled myself laughing. Same color flame as the range top.
Comment by kelly on 11/13 @ 4:11 pm #
Godspeed to Matt the Marine!
Comment by Salt Lick on 11/13 @ 4:13 pm #
It’s times like these when “The few, the proud, the brave” burns your eyes a little.
Comment by Salt Lick on 11/13 @ 4:18 pm #
Or maybe it’s just Jeff’s exhaust.
Comment by SarahW on 11/13 @ 4:19 pm #
If you put a little cayenne in your mittens your hands stay warm. Also you can put some in the toe of your outlaw boots if it is snowy.
Comment by Hvy Mtl Hntr on 11/13 @ 4:19 pm #
# 17- Thanks, and God Bless.
Comment by Mikey NTH on 11/13 @ 4:20 pm #
Thanks TSI.
N. O’Brain: My best wishes for your son.
Comment by happyfeet on 11/13 @ 4:29 pm #
cayenne really works like that. Who knew? Just don’t get it wet it says. I’m almost positive if I tried this it would go horribly wrong somehow. No. I’m dead sure.
Comment by urthshu on 11/13 @ 4:29 pm #
Godspeed Matt
Comment by happyfeet on 11/13 @ 4:29 pm #
link
Comment by pretty boy lee on 11/13 @ 4:34 pm #
Nothing says outlaw like an avocado fart in the Church of Obama.
Comment by N. O'Brain on 11/13 @ 4:39 pm #
Thanks everyone for you good wishes.
Comment by dr kill on 11/13 @ 4:39 pm #
Pull my finger.
Comment by bigbooner on 11/13 @ 4:47 pm #
I never had gas as bad as after my colonoscopy. I told my wife I had to do it for health reasons. She asked me if I had to be so gleeful about it. Hell, when you discharge that much gas for so long you have to be happy about it.
Comment by urthshu on 11/13 @ 4:51 pm #
“It’s Big-bootay!”
Comment by SarahW on 11/13 @ 4:55 pm #
#34 – I learned this trick after losing my wedding ring. My hands numb up if gets below 60, it seems. Plus if someone runs off with my coat they are in for it.
Comment by SarahW on 11/13 @ 4:55 pm #
Just don’t rub your eyes.
Comment by pdbuttons on 11/13 @ 4:55 pm #
thanks matt
Comment by urthshu on 11/13 @ 4:56 pm #
What? Its Buckaroo.
I thought we wuz OUTLAWS
Comment by pdbuttons on 11/13 @ 5:18 pm #
buck owens and the buckaroos
just saying
i’m a pickin’
and i’m a grinnin’
Comment by J. "Trashman" Peden on 11/13 @ 5:46 pm #
No, I’ll take my chances with the flatulence, thanks.
What’s more, my gut feelings just told me they demand their right to speak for themselves! And to thank Matt.
Comment by Carin on 11/13 @ 6:20 pm #
Prayers to Matt the Marine, and my bil who landed today (or sometime overnight) in Afghanistan. Or some other ’stan while he waits for his mission to officially start.
Comment by happyfeet on 11/13 @ 6:39 pm #
DAY 10 psycho has been really quiet and there have been not a few I wonder what psycho has to say about that sort of things what have come up. So far I don’t think the others have noticed but I find it discomfiting. Morale is good (thanks buttons) but for how long?
Comment by pdbuttons on 11/13 @ 6:57 pm #
when i like to freak my turkey out/ i always wave at him with an avacado in my hand
and he runs like the dickens!
but because i’m a human and a little bit smarter- i know what room he’s gonna run to
so that’s where i place my jar of hot peppers
Comment by Paleo Pat on 11/13 @ 7:15 pm #
Thanks for sharing… *holding nose*
Comment by Celtic Dragon on 11/13 @ 7:16 pm #
Jalapeno peppers guarantee OUTLAW moments of unabashed flatulance…
Comment by Mikey NTH on 11/13 @ 7:16 pm #
Carin – my regards to your bil.
Comment by Bob Reed on 11/13 @ 7:23 pm #
“No, I’ll take my chances with the flatulence…”
Spoken like a true Outlaw!…
Now, if you really wanna rampage, go to a nearby campus, the state legislature, or simply a local Starbucks; and let rip some gooooooooood, eye watering, breaths of, ahem, fresh air. But make sure you time an appropriate exclamation at the end of each emission. While “ahhhhhh” is always appropriate, “oh yeah” or a more direct, “That felt reeeeeal good” also works; it’d probably be good to mix them up to avoid boring the audience…
So cry havoc, and let loose the, er, well, you know….
Also, God bless and keep Matt the Marine, may He keep His face turned toward him, may no weapon formed against him prosper, may He smite all who may wish to do Matt harm, and may He guide Matt along the path that coincides with His will…
And when his tour is through may He bring Matt safely home, to live and prosper for many years to come; enjoying the bosom of his loving family and the love of all his friends…
Semper Fi, Matt
OOH-RAH
Comment by The Sanity Inspector on 11/13 @ 7:42 pm #
My belated regards to Matt and Bill the marines, and congratulations to all concerned.
Comment by thor on 11/13 @ 7:45 pm #
Unless you’ve ripped a fart that activated your tear glands, you don’t know rectal burn, unless you’ve had a really bad urinary tract infection, which is the same feeling in the other spout.
Comment by happyfeet on 11/13 @ 7:47 pm #
#55. You made my day. I love this blog.
Comment by SteveG on 11/13 @ 8:03 pm #
Habaneros are outlaw. Getting a habaneros seed wedged in the wrong niche can be a disaster.
When your butt feels like a flamethrower, the turkey and avocado seem tame.
And Tame and Outlaw shall not ever meet, so Habaneros it shall be.
Mel Gibson in Braveheart “I would consume the English with firebolts from my arse”
Outlaw.
Mullet.
Blue warpaint.
Firebolts from arse.
Screw the haircut…. melt the camera with your arse. Consume the English with your arse. Outlaw.
Comment by happyfeet on 11/13 @ 8:13 pm #
oh. What is outlaw I think is no one here will even mention the stupid Weblog Award thingers. I’m in no mood. You’re in no mood. No one is in no mood. Except for some people.
Comment by dre on 11/13 @ 8:59 pm #
OUTLAW MUSIC
Comment by pdbuttons on 11/13 @ 9:03 pm #
dems have webbed feet[unhappy feet]
their logs are made to stifle the flow
awards are for beavers
not achievers
i’d like to thank
my crippled chauferr driver
for getting a great parking space
[
Comment by pdbuttons on 11/13 @ 9:05 pm #
stand up! stand up!
oh -always look on the biden side of life [whistle whistle]
Comment by Christoph on 11/13 @ 9:08 pm #
Your internist is a sadist. I’d never give up peppers.
And if you want to have less flatulence and give your internist less work (I’m serious this time) take quality probiotics.
Comment by pdbuttons on 11/13 @ 9:08 pm #
ward-i’m worried about the beave
well june- i just been smoking crack with lumpy
and i think that’s the least of your problems
Comment by happyfeet on 11/13 @ 9:18 pm #
probiotics is essentially a marketing thing with some possible healthful side effects.
Comment by pretty boy lee on 11/14 @ 12:17 am #
Why would you want to have less flatulence?
The more you toot, the better you feel. So eat your beans at every meal.
Comment by Scottye Sparks on 11/14 @ 12:34 am #
Goldstein, you’re an antiquated idiot. How’s it feel to be on the losing end of the ideological battle now?
Comment by urthshu on 11/14 @ 5:47 am #
“Antiquated”? That isn’t possible when discussing eternal verities.
Comment by Rusty on 11/14 @ 5:52 am #
#67
Um. Scotty? The battle has just begun. Have a pepper.
Comment by B Moe on 11/14 @ 5:57 am #
We are now antiquated for resisting a return to the sixties. Another decade and we won’t even be speaking the same language as these morons.
Ayers wrote the new afterword on July 8, 2008, a day when he writes he saw a 1960s-style bumper sticker “all tie-dyed and psychedelic,†and heard “Give Peace a Chance†on the radio. He begins the afterword with a quote from Bob Marley’s “Redemption Songâ€Â: “Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery; none but ourselves can free our minds.’’
It’s “[d]eja vu all over again,†Ayers writes.
Go buy a dictionary Sparks, try to quit making such a fool of yourself.
Comment by Carin on 11/14 @ 6:41 am #
Goldstein, you’re an antiquated idiot. How’s it feel to be on the losing end of the ideological battle now?
I don’t think Scotty got the “Dear 48, love 52″ memo.
Regradless, Scotty, how does it feel to be part of the ESTABLISHMENT? Watch your back in dark alleys. You never know where there will be Outlaws.
Comment by JHoward on 11/14 @ 7:19 am #
How’s it feel to be on the losing end of history, Scott? To be backing the Party of racism, envy, and theft? To be part of the great Collectivization, the redistribution of the means of production, the ruin of liberalism, the oppression of its dissenters, and the homogenization of acceptable thought?
Yeah, be proud, establishmentarian supporter-of-antiquated ideologies. You Einstein, you. You supporter of the tame, the in-step, the approved, and the entirely predictable.
Comment by JD on 11/14 @ 11:00 am #
Scott Sparks used to be one of Caric’s sycophants, with timmah.
Comment by Garrett on 12/7 @ 11:22 pm #
“Yeah, be proud, establishmentarian supporter-of-antiquated ideologies. You Einstein, you. You supporter of the tame, the in-step, the approved, and the entirely predictable…”
yet, this site generates 73 responses over a post about leaving the peppers off of a turkey sandwich. While my left-bleeding heart breaks for the turkey, 73 posts about the same thing? If that is your idea of being a pragmatic outlaw, then I pity the fools who perform California Stops (invented by liberals, I might add) at stop signs.
But then again, with being on the far-right side of irrelevance, you have all the time in the world.
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 12/7 @ 11:33 pm #
But then again, with being on the far-right side of irrelevance, you have all the time in the world.
You, on the other hand, are so pressed for time that you managed to squeeze in an idiotic comment on a three week old post.
Trollhammered.
Buh-bye.