October 20, 2008
there are 8 million stories in the naked city…

…only one of which, surprisingly, claims Queen Elizabeth is given to screaming “butter my parsnips!” at the height of her royal ecstasy.

And believe me, I’ve looked.

41 Comments  :::   Post a comment »

  1. Comment by Mars vs Hollywood on 10/20 @ 10:25 pm #

    Wouldn’t that be “butter our parsnips”?

  2. Comment by maggie katzen on 10/20 @ 10:27 pm #

    what the hell are parsnips, anyway?

  3. Comment by pdbuttons on 10/20 @ 10:28 pm #

    it’s not the fact that i don’t have any pants on that bothers me..
    it’s these damn sandals made outta tires…
    haven’t u seen CSI! they can track me!

  4. Comment by Bob Reed on 10/20 @ 10:30 pm #

    Jeff G,
    Are you, by chance, talking about when Prince Phillip is ge’in’ a bit o’ krumpet…?

    Know what I mean, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, nudge, nudge, wink, wink…

    I don’t see how this is possibly helpin’ Her Majesty’s children, though…

  5. Comment by maggie katzen on 10/20 @ 10:34 pm #

    oh, root vegetable.

    heh

  6. Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 10/20 @ 10:35 pm #

    And wouldn’t the HRH The Duke of Edinburgh technically be the one who had the parsnip in question?

    Just stay away from those wild ones.

  7. Comment by JD on 10/20 @ 10:47 pm #

    After you are done buttering the parsnips, could someone tell MissKKKleo to pull that cat o’ nine tails out of his/her/its ass.

  8. Comment by MAJ (P) John on 10/20 @ 10:57 pm #

    Thanks for that, Jeff. I’ve seen some fairly disturbing things the past few years – but thinking about this post was a new experience in shuddering. I do wish I had a bit of your imagination, tho’.

  9. Comment by SteveG on 10/20 @ 11:32 pm #

    I’d rather not see that… unless Elizabeth Hurley plays the role of Queen, in which case I want more camera angles

    What’s sad is when you offer your parnip to be buttered and they opt instead for the baby carrots and arugula.

  10. Comment by JWebb on 10/20 @ 11:44 pm #

    Queen Elizabeth screaming “butter my parsnips” may have had roots in the Queen Mother’s quietly requesting “arse-nic my old lace.”

  11. Comment by Russ on 10/21 @ 3:41 am #

    Which of those eight million stories is the one where Eliot Spitzer is found shackled, wrist and ankle, at the top of a flagpole with a sparkler in his ass?

    OK, I’m sure eight million is a lot to sift through to find the simultaneously amusing and newsworthy ones. Though if it had been, say, Todd Palin, I’m sure the press would have found the time to do the sifting.

  12. Comment by urthshu on 10/21 @ 3:46 am #

    Liar!
    I just googled “butter my parsnips” and got 459,000 hits!

  13. Comment by Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) on 10/21 @ 6:55 am #

    - I seem to remember something about Lizzy having a number of her handmaidens fileted for stealing pearls off her royal pearls dress, but that may have been the press doing a hit job on her highness because they preferred Mary, queen of Scots.

  14. Comment by Brock on 10/21 @ 6:57 am #

    12, but if you include “Queen Elizabeth” in that search term there really is just one.

  15. Comment by apotheosis on 10/21 @ 7:15 am #

    Every morning should start out with a post this great.

  16. Comment by TmjUtah on 10/21 @ 7:32 am #

    “Which of those eight million stories is the one where Eliot Spitzer is found shackled, wrist and ankle, at the top of a flagpole with a sparkler in his ass?

    I think I saw that in the SpikeTV rotation between a Smiling Bob commercial and the Male Soap Opera Wrestling Update.

  17. Comment by McGehee on 10/21 @ 7:38 am #

    The reason only one includes her saying “butter my parsnips” is, she always says it with a Scottish burr. (Don’t ask me how I know.)

    Try Googling “butter me parsnips,” you’ll do much better.

    In a manner of speaking.

  18. Comment by Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) on 10/21 @ 7:43 am #

    “All Ur senile old Congressional farts R belong to U”

    - Congressman Murtha has doubled down on his out of control motor mouth, having apologized for calling Western Pennsyites “racist”, he now has decided they’re actually just garden variety “rednecks”.

    - The Left needs to get this wondrous example of Lefturd thinking bundled off to some far away rest spot for the next two weeks, before he single handily losses an important swing state for the one.

    - Barney Frank now says that Congress needs to throw the deficit under the MagicBus, and throw open the treasury. Says he “This is not the time for cutting back on spending. What we need is increased spending and taxation, and to put the fears of deficit aside.”

    - More “happy days are here again” from the very people who got us here.

  19. Comment by TaiChiWawa on 10/21 @ 8:01 am #

    Bess abed was a Boleyn-
    Like her mother,
    Lost her head.
    About which
    Her subjects wondered
    While she was being
    Roundly Tudored.

  20. Comment by The Sanity Inspector on 10/21 @ 8:22 am #

    God save the Queen
    We mean it, man…

  21. Comment by mojo on 10/21 @ 8:46 am #

    We are not amused.

  22. Comment by Dan Are on 10/21 @ 9:05 am #

    I’d heard something similar about Jordan’s Queen Rania pleading you “rattle THIS rudabaga” at a particular moment. Funny how root veggies transcend cultural relativism.

  23. Comment by Semanticleo on 10/21 @ 9:22 am #

    Colin Powell was less than a surprise, but Ken Adelman?

    “Ken Adelman is a lifelong conservative Republican. Campaigned for Goldwater, was hired by Rumsfeld at the Office of Economic Opportunity under Nixon, was assistant to Defense Secretary Rumsfeld under Ford, served as Reagan’s director of arms control, and joined the Defense Policy Board for Rumsfeld’s second go-round at the Pentagon, in 2001. Adelman’s friendship with Rumsfeld, Cheney, and their wives goes back to the sixties, and he introduced Cheney to Paul Wolfowitz at a Washington brunch the day Reagan was sworn in.

    In recent years, Adelman and his friends Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Wolfowitz fell out over his criticisms of the botching of the Iraq War. Still, he remains a bona-fide hawk (“not really a neo-con but a con-con”) who has never supported a Democrat for President in his life. Two weeks from now that’s going to change: Ken Adelman intends to vote for Barack Obama. He can hardly believe it himself.”

    http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/georgepacker/2008/10/not-quite-colin.html

  24. Comment by Semanticleo on 10/21 @ 9:27 am #

    I think Obama should treat Adelman’s endorsement only while wearing gloves……

    “Embittered Insiders Turn Against Bush

    By Peter Baker
    Washington Post Staff Writer
    Sunday, November 19, 2006; Page A01

    The weekend after the statue of Saddam Hussein fell, Kenneth Adelman and a couple of other promoters of the Iraq war gathered at Vice President Cheney’s residence to celebrate. The invasion had been the “cakewalk” Adelman predicted. Cheney and his guests raised their glasses, toasting President Bush and victory. “It was a euphoric moment,” Adelman recalled.

    Forty-three months later, the cakewalk looks more like a death march, and Adelman has broken with the Bush team. He had an angry falling-out with Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld this fall. He and Cheney are no longer on speaking terms. And he believes that “the president is ultimately responsible” for what Adelman now calls “the debacle that was Iraq.”

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/11/18/AR2006111801076.html

  25. Comment by slackjawedyokel on 10/21 @ 9:28 am #

    qwfwq: I have nothing to add to your comment from the previous thread:

    semantic: You gotta be the boring-est fucking commenter I’ve ever read. Insipid. Boring. Blechh. Why don’t you take your smug hostility and see how far up your ass you can stick it? Do something constructive for a change. You’re wasting your time here, you 2-bit troll.

  26. Comment by Semanticleo on 10/21 @ 9:30 am #

    “I have nothing to add to your comment from the previous thread:”

    The only answer is….Trollhammer!!!!!!

  27. Comment by slackjawedyokel on 10/21 @ 9:49 am #

    OK, more than boring — creepy boring.

    Leo (what sadist would name a kid LEO???) is like the guy who sees a group in conversation and hovers around, dying to join in. Someone mentions chocolate chip cookies, and Leo pipes up:
    “Did you just mention chocolate chip cookies? I knew a kid with a pony once. It was all golden brown with a silky mane and I would have liked to pet it but the kid wouldn’t let me and I told him that he sucked and . . . ”

    And everybody else sidles away.

  28. Comment by SevenEleventy on 10/21 @ 9:59 am #

    Semenlips, this Trollhammer’s for you!

  29. Comment by quellcrist falconer on 10/21 @ 10:00 am #

    Pardon for comment, but Jeff got linked by Goldberg today.
    I’m not allowed to mail him and I thought you might like to know.

  30. Comment by Benedick on 10/21 @ 10:03 am #

    This thread got boring in a hurry.

  31. Comment by slackjawedyokel on 10/21 @ 10:04 am #

    I know Trollhammer, Leo me boyo. I also know you would never use it, because you could never stand not knowing whether or not somebody mentions you in a comment. I think Attention Whore is the term.

    Feh. On that note I’ll quit feeding the Troll now.

  32. Comment by maggie katzen on 10/21 @ 10:13 am #

    Pardon for comment, but Jeff got linked by Goldberg today.
    I’m not allowed to mail him and I thought you might like to know.

    which is probably good, because the link is to dicentra’s post in the pub. NTTAWWT.

  33. Comment by happyfeet on 10/21 @ 10:17 am #

    The old coot did great disservice to the world in allowing her parsnips to be buttered I think. Damn but she spawned a passle of the royal stupid. They’re sort of fitting for the times there I guess. Dead queens are my favorite.

  34. Comment by SevenEleventy on 10/21 @ 10:25 am #

    griefquest fukstainer, I thought you were going “dark.” Time for a little, “Look at me, look at me?”

  35. Comment by SevenEleventy on 10/21 @ 10:27 am #

    which is probably good, because the link is to dicentra’s post in the pub. NTTAWWT.

    I’m surprised that she didn’t link the Cato Institute article for the umpteenth time!

  36. Comment by happyfeet on 10/21 @ 10:33 am #

    oh. This is me saying nice things about Jonah Goldberg. I always liked him.

  37. Comment by quellcrist falconer on 10/21 @ 10:55 am #

    sowwy, didn’t click.
    Goldberg just says Protein Wisdom on the link.

    griefquest fukstainer,

    stay classy, Proteins.
    lol

  38. Comment by mojo on 10/21 @ 11:06 am #

    Anybody who shows up in the comments here looking for “classy”?

    Not. A. Fucking. Clue.

  39. Comment by SevenEleventy on 10/21 @ 11:12 am #

    stay classy, Proteins.

    You mean like calling people “ruminant cudlips”, “two-digits”, etc. You mean that kind of classy? Fuck off, kate, jenn, nishi, or whatever you call your lame ass this week! Jeff no longer finds you worthwhile, then why should anyone else here give a shit what you think?

  40. Comment by Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) on 10/21 @ 3:04 pm #

    - Seems like Griefcrank Frankenskank just can’t stay away. That link comment was really scrapping the bottom feeder barrel. *snort*

    - Looks like the terrible gaffe twins, Biden and Murtha, are working their mouths on overdrive to erode Wonderboy’s media invented “lead”.

  41. Comment by Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) on 10/21 @ 3:52 pm #

    - BTW. I understand Biden’s comments get even worse further along in that little diatribe. If anyone has a link, it would probably make interesting reading. As Biden said during the primaries “The Presidency is no place for on the job training.”

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