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7 Things You Really, Really Oughtn’t Eat [Dan Collins]

in order to get high.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Somewhat related: Unwanted sexual contact in college. I recall that “unwonted” was more like it my freshman year. I don’t think that this study says anything about sexual contact that is unwanted ex post facto, but Shakespeare understood the coyote hangover well:

Sonnet CXXIX: Th’expense of Spirit in a Waste of Shame

1Th’ expense of spirit in a waste of shame

2Is lust in action; and till action, lust

3Is perjur’d, murd’rous, bloody, full of blame,

4Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust;

5Enjoy’d no sooner but despised straight;

6Past reason hunted; and, no sooner had,

7Past reason hated, as a swallow’d bait,

8On purpose laid to make the taker mad:

9Mad in pursuit, and in possession so;

10Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;

11A bliss in proof, and prov’d, a very woe;

12Before, a joy propos’d; behind, a dream.

13All this the world well knows; yet none knows well

14To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.

And don’t think he didn’t get the pun on “waste,” either.

La Shawn Barber has thoughts on writing and its payoff . . . maybe. Someday. Keep all of this in mind as you give generously to Jeff’s Democratic Convention Fund.

I am a liberal airhead, with an F-Score of 2.4827586206896552. (h/t Beth)

“O that this too too sullied flesh would melt, / Thaw and resolve itself into a dew

Auto-Googling made easy. I’m sure it’s on Greenwald’s favorites bar.

Starboard ventromedial damage: does it explain “Liberalism”?

Mindblowing.

10 Replies to “7 Things You Really, Really Oughtn’t Eat [Dan Collins]”

  1. Darleen says:

    uh Dan… you forgot to close a bold tag and the front page is hurting my eyes.

  2. Dan Collins says:

    I don’t know where that’s supposed to be, Darleen.

  3. Karl says:

    It shows up before the “more” in this post, I think. In the editor, switch from the visual tab to the “code” tab to look for it.

  4. Dan Collins says:

    Is that better? It doesn’t seem to affect my version of Firefox.

  5. Karl says:

    Yep. Fixed in IE.

  6. dicentra says:

    “For both female and male students, unwanted sexual contact occurs where they live, at social events, and often when the perpetrator and victim have been drinking. The vast majority of incidents occurs between UNH students, and an acquaintance is most often the perpetrator,” the report states.

    Holy smack, they needed a study for this?

    I’m a freakin’ Mormon who went to BYU and even I could have told them this!

    Oh, and I’ll take the Stilton Cheese. 50/50 odds of having a good night’s sleep or hallucinations sounds like a good bet to me.

  7. McGehee says:

    Methinks this is going to be a Stilton Cheese election.

  8. Mikey NTH says:

    Dave Barry, years ago reported on toad-lickers. I’d rather kick a mango than lick a toad.
    I think I will stick with beer.

    (But don’t stop encouraging that new department for your local universities! I have a tweed jacket!)

  9. Well, one of my girlfriends in college (around 1982) gave me cold sores, damn her. (A*ita Ta**io*, for those of you who are watching.)

    Though, it was fun. Just not *enough* fun. Isn’t that always the case?

    (This was Ireland in the early 1980’s. An innocent time.)

    So far, I have not added to my list of ineradicable diseases.

  10. Beth says:

    I can personally vouch for nutmeg on that list, and I imagine it’s probably the least sickening to try, considering the massive amounts of bagels or whatever you’d have to eat. But believe me, nutmeg is easily the most difficult thing I have ever eaten. You have to eat about a third of a small jar, basically washing down big tablespoons with milk (the least nauseating combination–trust me). They’re right, too–it takes about 4 hours or longer for it to take effect, but the buzz lasts for about 6 hours or longer (I always fell asleep before it wore off). It’s sorta like being high (er…so I’m told) only more intense and sorta hallucinogenic, sort of, although I don’t have hallucinogenic experiences with which to compare it. It’s better if you’re drinking while you’re buzzed, too. Also you get the worst cottonmouth EVAR. I can’t say I’ll ever have the urge to do it again, although I did do it probably five or so times.

    Go ahead, laugh. I don’t care, I know I’m a moron! :) It was something to do when stationed in the festering shithole that is Turkey, nutmeg is cheaper than Jack Daniels, and it is, of course, perfectly legal. My friends and I used to do it during lunch at work on Fridays so we’d be nice & buzzed not long after we got home. It’s just kinda weird shoveling tablespoons of nutmeg in your mouth over the sink (in case you hurl), knowing you’re eating nutmeg. YMMV, of course.

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