Oh, for crying out loud. Now the NYT is amplifying the Obama assassination watch meme. Fine.
Embrace the macabre: I am announcing the Obama Murder Pool. When Obama’s assassinated, who will turn out to have killed him?
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February 25, 2008
Murder Pool [Dan Collins]
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Comment by serr8d on 2/25 @ 7:36 am #
He will die at the ripe old age of 94, having served two terms as President, of some sort of old age phenomena.
Then, someone will still blame Bush…
Comment by Pablo on 2/25 @ 7:37 am #
Patton Oswalt.
Comment by Carin on 2/25 @ 7:39 am #
A nobody from Little Rock, Arkansas, who contributed to Hillary’s campaign. When asked about theman, Hillary replied that she “couldn’t recall” the fellow at all, despite the fact that he was their gardener for 8 years.
Comment by mac on 2/25 @ 7:52 am #
Craig Livingstone
Comment by Donald on 2/25 @ 7:53 am #
President Hussein leaves his first security briefing as president. Announces that he was not aware of the scope of Bush’s policy in the middle east. Announces that it is not possible to leave Iraq for the “forseeable future”. Medea Benjiman flies cross country with a pair of knitting needles which she’s aloud to bring for the good of the country. Obtains private meeting with Barak. Stabs his eyes out.
Comment by tehag on 2/25 @ 8:01 am #
A Palestinian, Europhile socialist will murder Obama (Sirhan + Oswald) The Usa’s culture of violence will be blamed, along with Jews and large corporations.
Comment by BJTexs on 2/25 @ 8:06 am #
The ghost of JFK.
Comment by ThomasD on 2/25 @ 8:06 am #
Who else? A ‘former’ member of the Nation of Islam.
Comment by Dan Collins on 2/25 @ 8:10 am #
My entry: Well, after all, it was you and me.
Comment by JD on 2/25 @ 8:19 am #
This whole thing is a disgusting Leftist fantasy that they seem to almost want to see happen.
Comment by N. O'Brain on 2/25 @ 8:20 am #
#Comment by Dan Collins on 2/25 @ 8:10 am #
Pleased to meet you.
Comment by Ric Locke on 2/25 @ 8:32 am #
Colonel Mustard, in the Conservatory, with the lead pipe. Miss Plum has an airtight alibi.
Regards,
Ric
Comment by Dan Collins on 2/25 @ 8:33 am #
What a good boy is Ric.
Comment by happyfeet on 2/25 @ 8:52 am #
At this point really it sounds like he’s on a suicide mission.
Comment by Darleen on 2/25 @ 8:54 am #
a President Barry, who falters about 2 or 3 years into his term (because he is both too green and too wimpy) in enacting the more radical leftist agenda that his fanatical acolytes expect (and the failure returns the House and/or the Senate back to GOP majority in 2010) will be assassinated by one of his own followers. Someone who views the Barry failures as apostasy to religious vision he promoted. An martyred Barry will be like a martyred JFK or RFK, inspirational but mediocre politicians who in death become untouchable icons of their movements.
And regardless of the assassin’s true background, his/her actions will be blamed on a vast White/NeoCon/Zionist/Military-Industrial-Corporate conspiracy.
Comment by ThomasD on 2/25 @ 8:54 am #
And I’m cool with a suicide mission, I’d just like the option to stay behind.
Comment by mojo on 2/25 @ 9:14 am #
Colonel Mustard, in the kitchen with a CHAINSAW!
Comment by TmjUtah on 2/25 @ 9:25 am #
Sandy Berger.
“Officer, there I was just cleaning my socks, and POW they went off…”
Comment by JD on 2/25 @ 9:26 am #
This whole concept is complete and utter BS. Senator Barack Obama is under no greater threat than President Bush or Senator McCain. It just helps them cement their ideal of victimhood.
Comment by Chris Matthews on 2/25 @ 9:26 am #
It doesn’t matter which one of you right wing lunatics kills him because he’ll just come back from the dead and redeem all of your sins by enacting universal health care, disbanding the US Armed Forces and completing a full socialization of the economy. He’s also going to appropriate the accumulated wealth of all the rich people in this country (except for those who have donated to Democrats in the past) and use it to buy all the poor people of this country McMansions.
Salvation Wingnuts, it’s just a (stopped) heartbeat away.
Comment by JD on 2/25 @ 9:35 am #
Why is it that the uber-wealthy that support the Dems are good and pure, but the successful that support Republicans are robber barons?
Comment by Lost My Cookies on 2/25 @ 9:40 am #
At an event in Philadelphia his secret service detail gets into an altercation with the parking authority outside of the convention center, during the scuffle, Obam is hit with a stray bullet from an unrelated drive-by.
The teacher’s union blames the roofer’s union who blame the South Jersey carpenters. Full-scale gang war erupts in the city and environs. City council is decimated by a series of diner bombings which leads to a Republican takeover of city government which lasts a full seven weeks before Harrisburg takes control and orders a recall election. Ed Rendell takes personal responsibility for city government in the interim and fifty years later cedes political power to his half-brother Raul.
Comment by geoffb on 2/25 @ 9:42 am #
Marie-Anne-Charlotte De Corday, however she will have to try three times to get close enough.
Comment by Mike C. on 2/25 @ 9:55 am #
JD, you got it on the victimhood thing. I think they have this need to equate themselves and their contemporary heroes with those who were persecuted, oppressed, suffered, died for their beliefs. All without having to endure any actual hardship or even discomfort, that is. At its most vile extreme is a Chomsky who not only has not suffered but has, in fact, become an international celebrity, with all of the attendant fame and fortune, for his false bravado. All the while being quite contemptuous of Vaclav Havel, a man who actually was persecuted and oppressed by a tyrannical regime.
Comment by Drider on 2/25 @ 10:08 am #
It will probably be one of Bin Ladens lackies and the reason could be any of the usual reasons.
1.Not Muslim enough.
2.The wrong flavor of the month Muslim.
3.Bing an Apostate…which he is being he was born Muslim by default.
4.The 875 billion dollar increase of foreign aid wont “ALL” go to Binnies flavor of Muslims.
5.Obama didnt push for a faster timetable for his “realitive” soon to be running Kenya, to switch over to Sharia Law…Biny wants it immediatley and Obama and crew wanted to gradualey have it go into effect.
Comment by Bender Bending Rodriguez on 2/25 @ 10:29 am #
Cool, the lefties’ new fake-pretend-imagined victimhood/martyrdom game! Let me play! Let me play!
Ummmmm, I’m going to guess… that one of 50 Cent’s crew will shoot him over a 20-rock of crack.
Comment by Rob Crawford on 2/25 @ 10:48 am #
He’ll be caught in the middle of a west coast/east coast rapper shoot-out.
Or trip over a fact and snap his neck.
Comment by RiverC on 2/25 @ 10:55 am #
Hmm, I don’t know who is going to kill him, but they will do with with a TRAIN.
That is all.
Comment by Andrew on 2/25 @ 10:55 am #
You can’t have a savior without a crucifixion. If he remains in office and governs as a President, he is merely a politician, and based on that, will have to compromise here and there. If, on the other hand, he becomes a Pieta, well, there’s lots that can be done post-Ascension.
Comment by Carin on 2/25 @ 10:59 am #
Why is it that the uber-wealthy that support the Dems are good and pure, but the successful that support Republicans are robber barons?
BECAUSE OF THE WINGNUTTERY!
Duh.
Comment by RiverC on 2/25 @ 11:03 am #
Context: Here…
Comment by ccs on 2/25 @ 11:09 am #
I’m suprised noone else has come up with the right answer yet. It’s sooooooo obvious, Blackwater.
Comment by alppuccino on 2/25 @ 11:17 am #
I am convinced that Obama is in great danger and the only thing left for him to do is to withdraw from the presidential race immediately.
It’s not worth it dude.
Comment by alppuccino on 2/25 @ 11:18 am #
no one should have to face death for a cause.
Comment by daleyrocks on 2/25 @ 11:22 am #
No need for an assassination. I’m convinced that if he wins he’ll have his own Admiral Stockdale moment, who am I and what am I doing here, and the enormity of the situation will cause him to stroke out. All that chain smoking ain’t good for you.
Comment by TmjUtah on 2/25 @ 11:24 am #
????
The freedom to elect my own government?
In defense of life, family, society?
To protect others from disaster, accident, or injury?
For my bunkie/squad/platoon/Corps?
Might as well live in Berkeley. Nothing to die for?
Nothing to fucking live for is what you were looking for.
Comment by A fine scotch on 2/25 @ 11:45 am #
Lung cancer which he acquired at a young age having been duped into smoking cigarettes by EEEVIL tobacco overlords with their seductive, genitalia inspired cartoon imagery against which no child has a defense particularly minority children.
Comment by Scrapiron on 2/25 @ 12:05 pm #
A half white half Arab assisted by an Black American muslem. This will only occur when the blacks need to go five finger shopping for a new LCD TV and some high priced tennis shoes. They will burn their own neighborhood and expect the working people to build it back. Predictions based on past history.
Comment by Sean M. on 2/25 @ 12:14 pm #
Jessica Fletcher.
Man, nobody could hang around with that chick for, like, ten minutes without getting his or her ass murdered. And she always came up with a nifty explanation about whodunnit, hmmmm.
I really think they should have wrapped up that series with an episode detailing how she was the most prolific serial killer in history.
Comment by kelly on 2/25 @ 12:26 pm #
Hillary sure has a motive, appears to me.
Comment by Sigivald on 2/25 @ 12:47 pm #
He’ll do it himself, just like JFK did.
That’s right, JFK’s “assassination” was a suicide. You heard it here first.
Comment by Russ on 2/25 @ 1:10 pm #
My guess: no one — he’ll accidentally overdose while huffing changey hope-itude.
Comment by maggie katzen on 2/25 @ 1:14 pm #
a pack of angry badgers. just cuz.
Comment by Techie on 2/25 @ 1:15 pm #
Too much change! It’ll be with a sock full of quarters.
Comment by bergerbilder on 2/25 @ 2:48 pm #
After two and a half years in office, all food that tastes good will have been outlawed. Because of the law of unintended consequences, millions will be dying by choking because their salivary glands won’t work any more. Barry bites the big one (so to speak) on a Tofu-Chamomile Granola bar.
Comment by Christopher Taylor on 2/25 @ 3:55 pm #
The last major political figure to have an assassination attempt in the USA was Ronald Reagan. Just something for these pundits to consider.
Comment by PMain on 2/25 @ 4:11 pm #
No one but Barrack will be responsible for his demise, it will be Carter 2 & only the political fringe, the heavily medicated or the terminally anti-American i.e. the NYT, Syria, Iran, will find he is of any relevance. Meanwhile the Democrat Party which will barely survive his nomination & the fall of the Clinton machine, will be left w/ nothing more than Dodd/Feingold ticket 2012.
Comment by Bleepless on 2/25 @ 4:55 pm #
Dexter.
Comment by axel621 on 2/25 @ 7:03 pm #
It will be self-inflicted.
He’ll die of an overdose of Hopiates.
:)
Pingback by Dems 2008: Nuturing Obamartydom fantasies [Karl] on 2/25 @ 7:53 pm #
[...] Dan already mocked the NYT Obamartyrdom story this morning with an absurdist bent, I do have some [...]
Comment by McGehee on 2/25 @ 10:43 pm #
I, said the City, as a civic duty.