Category Archives for red pills found behind the sofa cushions

November 11, 2008

red pills behind the sofa cushions (procatalepsis, 3)

TweetI know I said he wasn’t my monkey, but for a presumptuous interloper, he’s not only been keeping the bathroom clean and pitching in on the rent, but he sure does the whole cuddle thing well. In fact, with those … Continue reading

11. November 2008 by Jeff G.
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April 7, 2008

red pills found beneath the sofa cushions, shorty 2

TweetIt’s one thing to take a clinically depressed ex-agency beet out for a couple drinks and Disney on Ice — either out of the goodness of your heart, or with the hope that a leggy, half-frozen chick in a twinkling … Continue reading

07. April 2008 by Jeff G.
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November 5, 2007

protein wisdom: the update (or, red pills found behind the sofa cushions, tentative itinerary)

TweetI’ll be back posting later this week from the YAF leadership convention (which happens to correspond with Freedom Week). Look for the liveblogging to begin Thursday late, or Friday early. Meantime, because my mother-in-law will be flying in from Utah … Continue reading

05. November 2007 by Jeff G.
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September 5, 2007


Tweet1. To Ann Kellett, for the Living in Oblivion DVD. Believe it or not, I’ve never seen the film — though I’ve heard many good things about it. And with Steve Buscemi, you can hardly go wrong. 2. Thanks also … Continue reading

05. September 2007 by Jeff G.
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August 10, 2007

red pills behind the sofa cushions (procatalepsis, 2)

TweetThat is definitely not my monkey — first, because my monkey wears a platinum hoop earring and Japanese man clogs, and would rather his parochial school teacher happen upon him in a utility closet tugging his monkey dork to a … Continue reading

10. August 2007 by Jeff G.
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March 13, 2007

red pills behind the sofa cushions, analepsis 16

TweetIn a retro-Buddhist show of opposition to “the social cons’ criminal War on Drugs,” the Sea Monkey king—already high on homemade Sangria, two Percocet tablets, and the handful of roaches he was able to sift out of a patio ashtray … Continue reading

13. March 2007 by Jeff G.
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February 8, 2007

red pills found behind the sofa cushions, analepsis 15

TweetAt first blush, my purchase of an iRobot Roomba Discovery seemed a fairly innocuous domestic gesture—I mean, sure, I’m introducing artificial intelligence into an already potentially volatile environment, one overrun with strung-out sugar beets and a megalomaniacal Sea monkey king; … Continue reading

08. February 2007 by Jeff G.
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November 29, 2006

protein wisdom: the triumphant return post (procatalepsis)

TweetEh, give it about another week or so.  And no, you still can’t use my Kithchen Aid Ultra blender.  The last time somebody commandeered that thing in my absence, I spent several tedious hours plucking anejo-bloated grub worm bits out … Continue reading

29. November 2006 by Jeff G.
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August 24, 2006

red pills found behind the sofa cushions, green pills edition (prolepsis 2)

TweetJust woke from another of my vivid blue agave dreams (hundreds of naked Indians labor to build an enormous casino inside the hollowed-out carcass of a giant, magical buffalo, the buffet to which features nothing but kippers, wild salmon, and … Continue reading

24. August 2006 by Jeff G.
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July 24, 2006

red pills found behind the sofa cushions, green pills edition (prolepsis)

TweetShortcomings in physical construction prevent most hoodies from driving manual automobiles.  But my hoodie—never one to shy away from a challenge (just ask the bouncer at Pub on Pearl, whose testicles are likely still lodged in his abdomen)—figured out a … Continue reading

24. July 2006 by Jeff G.
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