{"id":7462,"date":"2006-10-27T01:40:00","date_gmt":"2006-10-27T08:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/?p=7462"},"modified":"2006-10-27T01:40:00","modified_gmt":"2006-10-27T08:40:00","slug":"famous-myths-and-folk-tales-from-around-the-world-abridged-from-the-protein-wisdom-otherness-series","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/?p=7462","title":{"rendered":"Famous Myths and Folk Tales from Around the World, abridged (from the protein wisdom Otherness series)"},"content":{"rendered":"
“The Lazy Man of Laos”<\/b> [originally appeared in Myths and Folk Tales Around the World<\/i>, Robert R Potter, Ed. D and H. Alan Robinson, eds, Globe, NY:  1963, 1971; abridgement by protein wisdom, moments again, high on coconut rum]<\/div>\n

\n     In Laos, there once was a very Lazy Man who lived by himself in a one-room shack. Rain dripped from holes in his roof.  Wind gusted in from gaping holes in his walls.
\n
\n     “Work is for fools,” he reminded himself—and he avoided it like Bill Clinton avoids taking responsibility, or Bill Maher avoids chicks over 17.  And though the Lazy Man called himself a farmer, all this really meant was that he had a few sparse crops surviving in untended fields, and a few skinny pigs living in his filthy basement.
\n
\n     In order to eat, once in a while the Lazy Man had to get a job, which lasted a short time, and for which he was paid in food.  This saved him a trip to the market.
\n
\n     One fall, the Lazy Man worked for a whole week in the neighbor’s rice fields.  He was a bit ashamed for having worked so hard, but in the end, he received a large jar of rice.
\n
\n     “I will hoard the rice until late this winter,” the Lazy Man told himself.  “Then, when its value increases, I’ll sell it and use the money to buy ten little pigs.
\n
\n     “When the pigs grow large and fat, I’ll sell them<\/i> and use the money to buy a hundred<\/i> little pigs!
\n
\n     “And when those<\/i> are grown, I’ll sell them, too, and voila!—a thousand<\/i> pigs!”
\n
\n     The Lazy Man was now very excited.  Starting with a single jar of rice, he could eventually become the richest man in all of Laos!
\n
\n     “When my thousand pigs are fat enough,” the Lazy Man went on, “I will sell them, and buy more pigs than my neighbors ever dreamed possible.  Then I’ll get hitched to a gold digging hottie and have a son, who’ll honor me by waiting on me hand and foot. 
\n
\n     “As for the bimbo—well, she’ll<\/i> be off looking after the pigs.  And if she balks, I’ll cancel her charge cards and kick her right in her fat ass, just like this –”
\n
\n     So saying, the Lazy Man raised his foot and inadvertantly hit the jar of rice with his heel, knocking it off the bed where it smashed onto the floor.
\n
\n     The jar now lay in a hundred pieces.  The rice fell through the wide cracks in the boards and was eaten by the hungry pigs.  And Lazy Man didn’t even bother to get up to save a small handful for his supper.
\n
\n     “Oh well.  Fuck it,” he said—and went on to invent both instant rice and Tupperware, all while sitting on his Lazy ass.  Then the Lazy Man lived happily ever after with an entire harem of Asian party girls who liked to lick crystal meth off of his Lazy thighs and junk.\n<\/p>\n

\n~ finis<\/i> ~
\n
\n     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“The Lazy Man of Laos” [originally appeared in Myths and Folk Tales Around the World, Robert R Potter, Ed. D and H. Alan Robinson, eds, Globe, NY:  1963, 1971; abridgement by protein wisdom, moments again, high on coconut rum]      In Laos, there once was a very Lazy Man who lived by himself in a one-room shack. Rain dripped from holes in his roof.  Wind gusted in from gaping holes in<\/p>\n

Read More<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":9196393,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7462","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7462","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/9196393"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7462"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7462\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7462"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7462"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7462"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}