…a rather nasty stomach virus has made its way through our house, beginning with Satch, who picked it up at school, then making its way into Tanner, then my wife, and finally — though I resisted mightily — into me, where it now lives like that demon who once gave Linda Blair a frighteningly ambitious rogering with a crucifix. <\/p>\n
Were I not so miserable — and so frequently indisposed — I’d say something today about Oprah and her charge to the BBC that those whites not on board the Obama Socialism Express Train to Hell are, of course, racists (though she’d probably exclude those who subscribe to her magazine or watch her shitty cable channel, which is twenty-four hours a day of bad, preachy, 90s-style social drama packaged up into a New Agey pant suit. In fact, though I don’t watch it, I’m hard pressed not to think immediately of Meredith Baxter Birney at the mere mention that there even exists<\/em> such a channel). I’d suggest to Oprah that, just as that clerk at the high end handbag boutique in Europe wasn’t a racist for not recognizing you and treating you like royalty, many people are just as happy blaming Obama’s white half for the miserable policies and intentional tyrannical feints he keeps making toward his dream of a Marxist Utopian police state as they are blaming his historic black half.<\/p>\n I’d probably discuss Jeb Bush’s assertion that he is, in fact, conservative (coming not too long after he told us all that he used to be <\/em>conservative), albeit only now that Karl Rove and the rest of the GOP establishment failbots have attempted to “rebrand conservatism to fit their own moderate, center-rightist positions and have all but declared the TEA Party terrorists, and the Constitution a dead letter document that was once used in the radical extremist overthrow of a kindly benevolent professional ruling class, in order to move the political spectrum ever more leftward.<\/p>\n Were I not forced at times to make my way rapidly to the john, I’d be writing here of Martin Bashir’s flowery apology to Sarah Palin — while mentioning that MSNBC’s Twitter feed is still promoting his having taught Ms Palin a lesson about slavery, Martin Bashir of course being one of the world’s foremost authorities on American history and slavery in particular, not to mention one of the world’s great literalists, so impossible evidently is it for him to understand that the concept of slavery is not owned exclusively by American blacks, nor is the use of the word slavery to describe, you know, slavery to the State, a usage that is somehow socially unpalatable. Unless you happen to be a shrieking pompous leftist shitheel who is so outraged by Palin’s offensive (if correct) use of a term that he simply had to wish her to sup on all manner of human waste. Because he just cares so damn much about this country. That he wishes to help fundamentally transform, so that it looks like the crapbox he left behind, and that we, too, once upon a time decided wasn’t really our cup of tea any longer.<\/p>\n Had I my health, perhaps I’d be writing this morning about the Light Bringer’s decision to remove “God” from the Gettysburg Address on this, its 150th anniversary — Obama presumably wanting no one worshiping or even acknowledging any other gods but He.<\/p>\n Maybe I’d talk about the WaPo’s twisting of its own poll showing today Romney would beat Obama — which tells you just how bad Obama must suck, because Romney might literally have been the last GOP politician left outside of John McCain who could have even conceivably lost to Obama in the first place.<\/p>\n Or maybe I’d talk about the wholly made up numbers the White House is using to tout its health care enrollment numbers, or the fact that the women O is now citing as an ObamaCare success story says she was frustrated trying to navigate the thing.<\/p>\n But the fact is, I am<\/em> sick. And as I noted this morning on Twitter, where I’m able to be more active (thanks to portability of my smart phone), if there’s a word for the combination of hacking cough and stomach virus we here have, I don’t know it offhand — though I’d say it is the same word I also don’t know off hand for “Uh oh. A peacock just exploded in the bathroom again.”<\/p>\n If there’re any stories you want to discuss, post links in the comments and set up a kind of impromptu salon. <\/p>\n Though a word of warning: if Oprah Winfrey asks to join, let her. Otherwise you may as well be wearing white hoods and sitting atop of Stedman with a noose while a cross burns behind you. Because some of you are white is why.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" …a rather nasty stomach virus has made its way through our house, beginning with Satch, who picked it up at school, then making its way into Tanner, then my wife, and finally — though I resisted mightily — into me, where it now lives like that demon who once gave Linda Blair a frighteningly ambitious rogering with a crucifix. Were I not so miserable — and so frequently indisposed —<\/p>\n