{"id":50835,"date":"2013-09-04T10:53:05","date_gmt":"2013-09-04T16:53:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/?p=50835"},"modified":"2013-09-04T11:00:47","modified_gmt":"2013-09-04T17:00:47","slug":"corey-haims-notes-from-the-afterlife-17","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/?p=50835","title":{"rendered":"Corey Haim\u2019s \u201cNotes from the afterlife,\u201d 17"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>And here I thought <em>Heaven<\/em> was kinda sad and wannabe sordid.<\/p>\n<p>I mean, Bro.\u00a0 <a href=\"http:\/\/www.avclub.com\/articles\/corey-feldman-threw-himself-a-250perguy-birthday-p,102029\/\">That <em>robe<\/em>.<\/a>\u00a0 And your <em>col<\/em>oring.\u00a0 I was never a doctor &#8212; and Lord knows I&#8217;m not studying medicine up here, save for the little bit of chemistry I&#8217;ve been dabbling in after watching a &#8220;Breaking Bad&#8221; marathon and then scoring that Bunsen Burner off of River Phoenix in exchange for some sandals and a tube of lip balm&#8211; but from the looks of things, I guess maybe I&#8217;ll be seeing you soon.\u00a0 Which would be cool.\u00a0 And of course tragic at the same time.\u00a0 Because of your fans and all.<\/p>\n<p>Not to sound gay, but I miss you, dude.<\/p>\n<p>Oh.\u00a0 If you wind up stroking out on X and find yourself heading this way, leave the hookers.\u00a0 Surprisingly, Heaven is, like, <em>filled<\/em> with them, both pros and amateurs &#8212; and I know more than a few who will take a mason jar full of Drambuie and a lude in lieu of cash to stick a pinky in your ass while giving you a handy.<\/p>\n<p>Which is nice, if you can get past how bored they sometimes seem to look.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>And here I thought Heaven was kinda sad and wannabe sordid. I mean, Bro.\u00a0 That robe.\u00a0 And your coloring.\u00a0 I was never a doctor &#8212; and Lord knows I&#8217;m not studying medicine up here, save for the little bit of chemistry I&#8217;ve been dabbling in after watching a &#8220;Breaking Bad&#8221; marathon and then scoring that Bunsen Burner off of River Phoenix in exchange for some sandals and a tube of<\/p>\n<div class=\"belowpost\"><a class=\"btnmore\" href=\"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/?p=50835\">Read More<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":9196393,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-50835","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50835","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/9196393"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=50835"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50835\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":50837,"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50835\/revisions\/50837"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=50835"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=50835"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/proteinwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=50835"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}