Once again Mr. Friedman treats us to a wonderfully written example of Leftist thinking. If you’re looking for a coherent argument or logical reasoning you might want to look elsewhere because you can’t find them in this article. They have been trampled into dust by a herd of elephants in the room that Mr. Friedman just can’t see. Thankfully, that didn’t stop him from giving us this literary gem that we’ve come to expect from Time’s writers.
What you will find, instead, is Mr. Friedman once again arguing with the horde of tiny little retarded deniers that run around in his head shouting ‘PALIN PALIN PALIN!!1! You know, the one’s that believe…
…the world is going to face a mass plague, like the Black Death, that will wipe out 2.5 billion people sometime between now and 2050. They believe it is much better for America that the world be dependent on oil for energy — a commodity largely controlled by countries that hate us and can only go up in price as demand increases — rather than on clean power technologies that are controlled by us and only go down in price as demand increases. And, finally, they believe that people in the developing world are very happy being poor — just give them a little running water and electricity and they’ll be fine. They’ll never want to live like us.
I have to tell you, Mr. Friedman, I’m right there with you. If I had mob of vertically challenged crazies spouting this nonsense in my brain I’d feel compelled to exorcise them as well! I mean, the Black Death as an alternative to Cap and Tax? Oh the humanity!
Thankfully Mr. Friedman has answers for these voices he keeps hearing. First he solves the inevitable population bomb…
The first is that the world is getting crowded. According to the 2006 U.N. population report, “The world population will likely increase by 2.5 billion … passing from the current 6.7 billion to 9.2 billion in 2050. This increase is equivalent to the total size of the world population in 1950, and it will be absorbed mostly by the less developed regions, whose population is projected to rise from 5.4 billion in 2007 to 7.9 billion in 2050.”
The energy, climate, water and pollution implications of adding another 2.5 billion mouths to feed, clothe, house and transport will be staggering. And this is coming, unless, as the deniers apparently believe, a global pandemic or a mass outbreak of abstinence will freeze world population — forever.
Now, moving on. Oh wait, you didn’t see his solution in there? You sure? Either did I but I have no doubt that he told those wild men in his head what his solution was and that’s good enough for me!
Next he solves the inevitable ‘everyone wants to be an American’ bomb…
The world keeps getting flatter — more and more people can now see how we live, aspire to our lifestyle and even take our jobs so they can live how we live. So not only are we adding 2.5 billion people by 2050, but many more will live like “Americans” — with American-size homes, American-size cars, eating American-size Big Macs…
So either the opponents of a serious energy/climate bill with a price on carbon don’t care about our being addicted to oil and dependent on petro-dictators forever or they really believe that we will not be adding 2.5 billion more people who want to live like us, so the price of oil won’t go up very far and, therefore, we shouldn’t raise taxes to stimulate clean, renewable alternatives and energy efficiency.
It’s at this point you realize that the sound of thunder you keep hearing are the elephants in his head, with the words ‘Domestic Oil’ and ‘Nuclear Energy’ stamped on their sides, rampaging through his upstairs living room, whipped into a frenzy by the tiny terrorizers. You can ask Mr. Friedman if he can hear it too, but he’s mesmerized by the flashy neon words scrolling across the back of his retinas: ‘confiscatory taxation solves all problems…’
I was filled with a sense of dread as I approached the end of his column fearing he would plunge a final, fatal stake into the heart of his mental demons that had thus far brought me so much entertainment.
Thankfully, my fears proved unfounded!
So, as I said, you don’t believe in global warming? You’re wrong, but I’ll let you enjoy it until your beach house gets washed away.
Thank you Thomas, your eternal mercies will not go unappreciated.