Hypothetical superhero, Cultural Diversity Man. Powers. Enemies. Theme song. Quips. Need full profile. Thanks. Over.
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October 14, 2007
Sunday Thought Experiment [Dan Collins]
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Comment by Great Mencken's Ghost on 10/14 @ 2:25 pm #
His greatest power: illusion, to convince people they are celebrating diversity while embracing the most rigorous, dogmatic conformity…
Comment by JD on 10/14 @ 2:31 pm #
Somehow, I picture the guy from the Ambiguously Gay Duo. And lots of multi-colored spandex.
Comment by Pablo on 10/14 @ 2:43 pm #
Enemies? White people.
Comment by alppuccino on 10/14 @ 2:43 pm #
Theme sonq: What Color is Love?
- – performed by Lulu
Comment by mac on 10/14 @ 2:48 pm #
Enemies: NASCAR fans
Quips: We have just the sort of re-education facility for that sort of thinking.
Powers: Can never be held accountable by the Media.
Comment by Pablo on 10/14 @ 2:50 pm #
Is OUTRAGE a power? It could be.
Comment by harrison on 10/14 @ 2:54 pm #
Powers: The ability to spout miles of touchy-feely, mind-numbing platitudes about the basic goodness of all peoples without saying anything at all. See: 1st chapter of any gov’t employee handbook.
Enemies: Only one, the Human Race as a single entity. All people must be separated from each other in competition for the other’s rights and possessions. Oh, and white men.
Comment by N. O'Brain on 10/14 @ 2:56 pm #
Best Kung Fu move:
Hands on hips.
Comment by Smitten Eagle on 10/14 @ 3:01 pm #
I imagine he’d be brothers with that kid who had the “power of Heart” on Captain Planet. Mati? Was that his name?
Comment by N. O'Brain on 10/14 @ 3:03 pm #
“Was that his name?”
Al.
Comment by JD on 10/14 @ 3:09 pm #
Enemies are white Christian heterosexual males from flyover country.
Weapon – They can blast people with their perpetual outrage machine.
Comment by Techie on 10/14 @ 3:15 pm #
Theme song: We Can Work It Out – The Beatles (good song, and I’ll assume that CD (Wo/Myn) is a good faith actor, just naive and dense)
Comment by Dg on 10/14 @ 3:21 pm #
Powers: emmy award, oscar award, nobel peace prize. (not sure how powerful those powers are…)
Enemies: all white folks, that ain’t poor. Republicans, scientists, anyone that speaks with factual knowledge.
Theme Song: “we’ve only just begun” — carpenters.
Quips: “Bread line forms here!”, “your check is in the mail, now leave me alone”, “A zebra does not change its spots.”
Profile: a narcissistic perfectly coiffed stoic bore, oh, and don’t forget the hypocrasy.
Comment by Jeffersonian on 10/14 @ 3:22 pm #
And Jooz. Especially neocons.
Costume has to have Birkenstocks.
Comment by happyfeet on 10/14 @ 3:25 pm #
Ability to summon the impenetrable shield of Graeme Frost.
Comment by Darleen on 10/14 @ 3:32 pm #
theme song: All the Colors of the Wind
Comment by Darleen on 10/14 @ 3:34 pm #
Enemies — non-leftists
Power — to turn all non-leftists a paler shade of white
Comment by happyfeet on 10/14 @ 3:39 pm #
Unhinged Melody?
Comment by McGehee on 10/14 @ 3:50 pm #
Powers: Impervious to anything contrary to Teh Narrative. Able to summon the Community-Based Reality to overcome all challenges.
Enemies: Captain Intentionalist
Theme song: anything by Yoko Ono
Quips: “RACIST!”
Comment by Big Bang (Pumping you up) on 10/14 @ 3:51 pm #
- Side kick: Class welfare boy
- Mode of travel: Wind powered mountain bike
- Favorite appertiff: Pierre’ water
- Major weakness’: Orb of confusion, hippie chics in Che T shirts
- Secret power: Signing unemployment checks
Comment by serr8d on 10/14 @ 3:57 pm #
Here’s a small partial, a diversity man of sorts. Work in progress, while the shootout continues in Dallas. Ideas welcome!
Seems the theme song would have to be John Lennon doing something Ono…with a feather, of course.
Comment by Pablo on 10/14 @ 3:58 pm #
Quips:
“It’s because you’re black. I’ll save you!”
Comment by serr8d on 10/14 @ 3:58 pm #
Ahhh, didn’t see your Ono, McGehee. What, we’re thinking alike or something?
Comment by R30C on 10/14 @ 4:04 pm #
How about utilizing that sixties song secret agent man for a theme? I don’t know what you’d do for lyrics though…
Comment by Joe Bonforte on 10/14 @ 4:04 pm #
Power: Can split himself into multiple copies, each of a different race, and all of which get along so well with each other that they serve as an example to the world. By sending the right copy, Cultural Diversity Man can attend any event, any where, and know he will be accepted and loved.
Weakness: Each copy has a different weakness. The Asian copy scores too high when exposed to standardized tests, making the other copies unhappy. The white copy experiences debilitating guilt whenever he accomplishes something positive, and constantly defers to all the other copies on any difference of opinion. The black copy wears pants so loose they fall off, and is unable to resist the lure of bling. The American aborigine copy is prone to gambling.
Enemies: Thomas Sowell, Clarence Thomas, Walter Williams, Bjorn Lomberg
Comment by fahs ibair on 10/14 @ 4:06 pm #
Powers: polyglot
Creed(o): 100% Unitarian, baby
Enemies : anyone who actually believes something
Comment by RTO Trainer on 10/14 @ 5:03 pm #
Former member of The Appeasers.
Orpahaned in a public School, raised by the NEA as one of their own.
Granted a magic amulet that gives him hieghtened empathy for those not like himself.
Employed as an advocate for the ACLU.
Theme Song: The Partrige Family theme.
Comment by narciso on 10/14 @ 5:17 pm #
Are we talking undercover brother or MANTIS; specially after the pilot.
Comment by B Moe on 10/14 @ 5:19 pm #
He can travel through time, I think I have found him:
http://proteinwisdom.com/?p=9925#comment-262159
Comment by maggie katzen on 10/14 @ 5:26 pm #
and yet seems to stay stuck in the past.
Comment by psychologizer on 10/14 @ 5:44 pm #
Cultural Diversity Man is a white woman with the power to take the place of black men.
His enemy is black men.
His theme song is the Scissor Sisters covering “Niggers are Scared of Revolution.”
…
Oh, you said hypothetical. Never mind.
Comment by Joan of Argghh! on 10/14 @ 6:11 pm #
Powers: Able to bend college professors to his will, supply an endless sticky web of fuzzy thinking and government “intervention” in the most trivial of circumstances.
Enemies: successful minorities from stable families who have never received a government handout, also, Condi Rice, Bill Cosby and Clarence Thomas
Theme Song: Somewhere, (bend) Over the Rainbow
Quip: Don’t let The Man keep you down. Let me!
Comment by Bill D. Cat on 10/14 @ 7:04 pm #
Quip : Yes it does smell kinda’ funny ,but man does it taste good .
Theme Song : You’re Too Good To Be True
Comment by Bill D. Cat on 10/14 @ 7:26 pm #
HQ : The Halls of Anti-Americanism …. or the U.N. whichever …..
Comment by Russ on 10/14 @ 7:38 pm #
Power: can order anything off any menu in the world, sight unseen… unless it contains transfats.
Battle cry: “E Unus Pluribum!”
Comment by Big Bang (Pumping you up) on 10/14 @ 8:06 pm #
- Lifetime acheivement: Halting global warming, armed only with Nancy Pelosi’s personality, and ice cubes from Jefferson’s freezer.
Comment by TmjUtah on 10/14 @ 9:06 pm #
The Perrier comes out of the stylish, yet subtle, man purse. Every episode will have to have that sweet moment of victory; i.e., the dictator laughing at the Marines getting back in their boats, the Catholic chick dumped at the abortion clinic, or maybe even the socialized healthcare program being signed into law. The man purse will have to be something in taupe. PLUS it must be roomy enough for at least a middle-school’s worth of condoms. That means we have to have an endearing, eccentric man Friday to flit… okay, hover… in the background. It will be his job to press tights, pay the light bill for the Fortress of Angst, and create a brand line of coordinated accessories that are free of space/time limitations.
I keep on seeing Edwards as Commissioner Gordon. And a WB station I.D..
Comment by JD on 10/14 @ 9:22 pm #
TMJ – They are not called man purses, they are called murses.
Comment by Alec Leamas on 10/14 @ 10:32 pm #
Song:
Three Dog Night: Black and White
“The ink is black
The page is white . . .”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68i4tMmv9F4
It is the only song sufficiently simultaneously hokey and pretensious enough for such a libtard Superhero.
It has all the Left policy erotics – race, chilluns, the world, education, being nice . . .
Comment by Pat in Colorado on 10/14 @ 11:34 pm #
Powers: Absolute Moral Authority
Comment by Sean M. on 10/15 @ 2:41 am #
Here’s your theme song, which is based on this, of course:
Cultural Diversity Man, Cultural Diversity Man
Does whatever cultural diversity can.
Sets a quota every time
Those Asian students’ test scores cross the line.
Look out, here comes Cultural Diversity Man!
Is he sensitive? Listen budâ€â€
He’s got multi-culti blood.
Can he get endowment bread?
Take a look at what the faculty said.
Hey there! There goes Cultural Diversity Man.
At the rally to Take Back the Night,
At the scene of the hate crime,
Ready to exploit the guilt of liberal whites,
He arrives thirty minutes early on Hugo Chavez time!
Cultural Diversity Man, Cultural Diversity Man,
Fighting against “gentrified” neighborhoods Cultural Diversity Man.
Minority graduation rates at elite colleges, he’s ignoredâ€â€
Book deals and tenure are his reward.
To him (or her, or a trans-gendered individual),
Life is a fight against whiteyâ€â€
Wherever there’s a campus that invites a righty,
You’ll find Cultural Diversity Man!
You might also want to check this out. Similar concept.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 10/15 @ 9:52 am #
Particle man, particle man
Doing the things a particle can
What’s he like? It’s not important
Particle man
Is he a dot, or is he a speck?
When he’s underwater does he get wet?
Or does the water get him instead?
Nobody knows, Particle man
Triangle man, Triangle man
Triangle man hates particle man
They have a fight, Triangle wins
Triangle man
Universe man, Universe man
Size of the entire universe man
Usually kind to smaller man
Universe man
He’s got a watch with a minute hand,
Millenium hand and an eon hand
When they meet it’s a happy land
Powerful man, universe man
Person man, person man
Hit on the head with a frying pan
Lives his life in a garbage can
Person man
Is he depressed or is he a mess?
Does he feel totally worthless?
Who came up with person man?
Degraded man, person man
Triangle man, triangle man
Triangle man hates person man
They have a fight, triangle wins
Triangle man
Comment by mojo on 10/15 @ 11:10 am #
See, before I give you all the super-boffo ideas I have floating around in my brain, it’s time to talk about me gettin’ paid…
Comment by SEK on 10/15 @ 8:28 pm #
For the love of … every poet ever, Sean M., abbreviate it to “Cult ‘versity Man.” Not that I agree with you, but please, I beg you, when the rhythm it’s gonna get you? Let it.
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