Deadbeat neighbor: “Is that an Indian? — over there, pouring that Bickels’ new patio?”
Me: “Nope. Just a Mexican day laborer with a sunburn.”
Deadbeat neighbor: “Are you sure? Because the feathers –”
Me: “– Fine, a Mexican day laborer with a sunburn and a fetish, then. But not an Indian.”
Me: “And seriously, man. Must you always stereotype like that? Because it’s racist, and it makes me feel really uncomfortable.”
Me: “Besides, dude’s got a mustache, and instead of a horse, he drives a tricked out El Camino. Which, if that doesn’t absolutely scream beaner, nothing does.”
Comment by happyfeet on 10/8 @ 1:53 pm #
I have not seen a real live Indian in many moons.
Comment by Jeff G. on 10/8 @ 1:55 pm #
“Sad is the mouse who cannot see the owl for the trees” — Dances with Mark Cuban
Comment by Dan Collins on 10/8 @ 1:56 pm #
Does he have the tarantula in acrylic shift knob? Because that’s COOL.
Comment by wishbone on 10/8 @ 1:58 pm #
“Sad is the tree that cannot dodge the big honkin’ chainsaw.” — Sambas with the Ghost of Ewell Gibbons
Comment by Slartibartfast on 10/8 @ 2:07 pm #
I am within three degrees of Mark Cuban.
Comment by happyfeet on 10/8 @ 2:12 pm #
That’s kind of interesting.
Comment by JD on 10/8 @ 2:20 pm #
I hope Mark Cuban buys the Chicago Cubs, spends countless millions, only to fall short of winning the World Series.
Comment by Darleen on 10/8 @ 2:34 pm #
too bad it was my great uncle, not my granddad, that married the Cherokee lady
cuz baby, my Irish girls could have gotten that free ride in teh college
‘course, the trade off might have been me or them as to-the-bone mean as my dad claims his cousins were …
Comment by happyfeet on 10/8 @ 2:36 pm #
It’s grilled cheese day somewhere in Chicago. 312-884-3070.
Comment by JD on 10/8 @ 2:38 pm #
Dammit, happyfeet!!! I called that #. What a horrific litany of bad covers.
Comment by happyfeet on 10/8 @ 2:43 pm #
That’s one of those things I get over messenger. Usually that means I am the last to know but I have a feeling this is a relatively new thinger. I got all the way to the we are the champions, and after that I was kind of sorry I had already ordered a burrito.
Comment by SteveG on 10/8 @ 2:49 pm #
If you don’t see a Virgin of Guadalupe sticker and/or figurine shrine somewhere in or on the vehicle, he is OTM and you sir are a mustachisist racist of the worst stripe.
You could ask him is he knows Geraldo and why Geraldo is so rugged and Ricky Martin so smooth.
Or you could just make some margaritas and call ICE
Comment by thor on 10/8 @ 3:07 pm #
Right after an Indian trims his pony tail you can’t always tell fer-sure if it’s a East L.A. rat tail or stylish tribal other. And let’s be honest, oft times alcohol coming off the breath overpowers body odor, leaving you no clue as to laborer or gov’t cheese eater. Not that I buy into any of those stereotypes.
Comment by Dan Collins on 10/8 @ 3:19 pm #
Just holler, “Hey, Tonto!” and if he looks angry, he’s probably one or the other.
Comment by Lost My Cookies on 10/8 @ 3:34 pm #
Offer him some Juicyfruit, easiest way to tell.
Comment by A fine scotch on 10/8 @ 3:36 pm #
Might also check to see if they’ve got one of those crown air fresheners on the dashboard (probably sitting on dash carpeting).
Comment by maggie katzen on 10/8 @ 3:58 pm #
Indians work?
Comment by The Rick on 10/8 @ 4:19 pm #
Damn you Maggie!
You stole my thunder!
(grew up 10 minutes from a reservation — me loves me some $3 Blackjack!!)
Comment by Joan of Argghh! on 10/8 @ 4:20 pm #
Oye, Itlan. Aztec Indians wear feathers, and know how to fly. Coulda been an Aztec. Just sayin’.
Comment by Big Bang (Pumping you up) on 10/8 @ 4:25 pm #
- See Jeff….Its a testimont to your “inlander-ness” that has you thinking you have an either or with anything from south of the border, or as alGore the omniverant would say; “There are three types of Mexicans, those that are Indians, and those that are Spanish blood.”. So the dude pouring your patio, splashing well beyound the border boards in places, could well be both a beaner, and a Aztecbean. Aztecbeans are like onions, need a lot of heat to grow, no ICE.
Comment by maggie katzen on 10/8 @ 5:55 pm #
The Rick, the bulk of my family is from OK, I hear stories. Though I also must thank the Choctaw tribe for providing transportation for RTO’s NG unit from and to Camp Shelby so their families could see them before they left for the ‘Stan. I may have to go “gambling” some time.
Comment by happyfeet on 10/8 @ 6:01 pm #
Choctaw Indian Bingo!!!!
Comment by Patrick on 10/8 @ 6:22 pm #
“Sad is the grilled cheese sandwich, without tomato soup” – Sous Chef Boyardee
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 10/8 @ 7:05 pm #
“Sad is the Steinbrenner, learning yet again that there’s more to building a good team than coughing up cash and yelling at people.”
– Chief Cleveland Ohio
Comment by Robin Roberts on 10/8 @ 7:13 pm #
Drive a parade of Italians by him and see what he does.
Comment by Great Mencken's Ghost on 10/8 @ 8:11 pm #
One of the regulars on our side of the street at the Friday rallies is a tribal-roll Cherokee. She’s really handy when someone brings out the white man’s war bushwah.
Comment by mojo on 10/8 @ 8:15 pm #
Ok, that’s it. Consider the Rockies jinxed, wise ass.
I’m gonna hit ‘em with the ol’ Ward Churchill special. With TWO chickens.
Comment by alppuccino on 10/9 @ 6:44 am #
I had an Indian do my driveway. He hit it with the bull float and then put a cool swirly pattern in with his turban. The buy finishing the side walk had six arms.
Comment by alppuccino on 10/9 @ 6:45 am #
“the guy” GOD DAMN THESE MITTENS!!!!
Comment by Sticky B on 10/9 @ 8:40 am #
Most concrete men are mestizos. Strange.
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