Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Al Gore.
Again? Listen, for the last time, my dishes come out more sparkly when I use the detergent with phosphates. So piss off, would you?
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September 14, 2007
a completely arbitrary Friday afternoon knock knock joke, just because
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Comment by ThomasD on 9/14 @ 4:05 pm #
Heh,
Living in Buffalo back in the ’70s my mother used to drive across the border to Canada just to buy the ‘good’ detergent.
Comment by Lost My Cookies on 9/14 @ 4:07 pm #
Francis: knock, knock
Utley: Ow!
Alfonseca: knock, knock
Helton: Ow!
Comment by The Ouroboros on 9/14 @ 4:08 pm #
Al Gore: “Fine.. I’m outta here.. but if you see Leonardo Dicaprio, tell him I want my hysterical Global Warming Talking Points back.”
Comment by Mark on 9/14 @ 4:19 pm #
Jeff, Algore pissed on your dishes.
Comment by ThomasD on 9/14 @ 4:40 pm #
As long as he doesn’t sit on them everything will be fine.
Comment by SteveG on 9/14 @ 4:43 pm #
That’s OK. You can offset those clean dishes by only using one square to wipe your butt.
Sparkly dishes or fiery, raw ass…. you get to choose, it’s a democracy.
(Al probably has about a square’s worth of loose tissue prills stuck in his on any given day… hence the need at the Gore Manse for so many bidets)
Comment by scooter (not libby) on 9/14 @ 5:04 pm #
1 square? I hope someone makes a yard-wide roll soon.
Comment by Pablo on 9/14 @ 5:41 pm #
Right, just go with the paper towels. But not those brown ones. Ow.
Comment by JD on 9/14 @ 5:44 pm #
NFL – Knock knock
Bellicheater – Who is there?
NFL – Time to pay the piper, whitey.
Comment by Patrick on 9/14 @ 6:12 pm #
My three-year-old likes telling knock knock jokes, but he doesn’t really get the joke part. That makes it funny, though.
Nog nog!
Who’s there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange Orange
Gets me every time.
Comment by Pablo on 9/14 @ 6:27 pm #
Comment by JD on 9/14 @ 5:44 pm
I question the timing.
Comment by mojo on 9/14 @ 6:44 pm #
Who: Knock knock…
Me: Who’s there?
Who: Yes
I miss the Captcha words.
Comment by psychologizer on 9/14 @ 7:17 pm #
I miss the Captcha words.
Sometimes I still see people refer to them, so it looks like there’s a whitelist of trustworthy types who don’t see them, and apparently we’re on it. In my case, that’s a mistake. And they made me think of a bunch of weird, unfunny, even-Dennis-Miller-is-all-WTF? jokes, which is the only use I’ve ever found for my edumaction.
Speaking of which (and on another PW nostalgia note) –
I heard my first Klonopin joke today. Not a joke, really, but a strangely poetic offhand observation about Klonopin made by a professional comedian while under the influence of Klonopin. And drunk. Onstage. And it goes a little something like this:
Klonopin is like a warm hug from your mother that doesn’t lead to sex.
Andy Andrist, ladies and gentlemen!
Comment by Major John on 9/14 @ 7:25 pm #
My children: Knock knock
Me: Come in.
My children Dad, that’s not how you do it!
Comment by Alice H on 9/14 @ 7:40 pm #
I told my son a joke when he was three, to get him off the knock knock jokes. It goes like this:
“What did the fork say to the spoon?”
“I dunno, what?”
“Nothing, cause forks don’t talk!”
Instead of ridding our house of knock knock jokes, for the past two years we’ve been subjected daily to the following bastardization of that joke. xInanimateObject and yInanimateObject are whatever things he’s learned about recently that don’t make noise.
“Knock knock?”
“Who’s there?”
“Do you know what the xInanimateObject said to the yInanimateObject? Nothing, cause xInanimateObject can’t talk!” followed by insane five-year-old belly-cackling.
I F%&$ing HATE knock knock jokes now. And the joke that I told him. Which was the only clean joke I knew, other than “How do Germans tie their shoes? In little Nazis!” which I didn’t really want him repeating at school.
Comment by happyfeet on 9/14 @ 7:47 pm #
your fruit, it is low-hanging
Comment by marcus on 9/14 @ 7:58 pm #
Did you know…
An anagram of “Jeff Goldstein” is “Led off jesting”? How spooky is that?
http://www.anagramgenius.com/server.php?source_text=jeff+goldstein&emphasis=1&gender=0&vulgar=0&seen=true
Comment by Big Bang (Pumping you up) on 9/14 @ 7:59 pm #
- I’m thinking the best representation of low hanging fruit right now, is the Dems and the Left, who really really were begging for this week to be over.
Comment by Major John on 9/14 @ 8:12 pm #
ALice,
I am so stealing that German shoe tying joke…
Comment by JD on 9/14 @ 8:16 pm #
I love the Captcha words being gone. They did not show up on my Treo so I could not comment. Good riddance.
Knock knock …
Who’s there?
Liberal SOB.
Damn there were a lot of those Leftists trolling around here today. Is there anything that they will not argue just to preserve The Narrative?
Comment by happyfeet on 9/14 @ 8:17 pm #
There are still words in the pub.
Comment by gahrie on 9/14 @ 8:18 pm #
Q. How do you know Steve Jobs has been in your refrigerator?
A. It suddenly costs $200 more, shows movies, and only accepts food from one supermarket.
Comment by Big Bang (Pumping you up) on 9/14 @ 8:23 pm #
Damn there were a lot of those Leftists trolling around here today.
- Well in view of the most excellant week they all had, maybe they’re afraid to go home to the little fem.
Comment by keninnorcal on 9/14 @ 8:27 pm #
Related to Jeff’s original joke:
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Bjørn Lomborg
I hope you die in a fiery death that is painful as hell. For peace, and the good of the planet…you apostate. We sympathize with religion. Or at least some of them…
Comment by JD on 9/14 @ 8:30 pm #
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Republican.
RACIST SEXIST HOMOPHOBE MISOGYNIST LOOKS-IST TERRORIST-IST ETHNICIST ISLAMAPHOBE WINGNUT FASCIST
Comment by Jim C. on 9/14 @ 10:12 pm #
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Al Gore.
I was wondering why we have record low temperatures today.
Comment by rt on 9/14 @ 10:17 pm #
that’ll teach that Republican to knock on cindy sheehan’s door.
Comment by me on 9/14 @ 10:37 pm #
I always left a flaming bag of shit on the door step after I knocked.
What’s the difference between Al Gore and a bag of shit? The bag.
Comment by Big Bang (Pumping you up) on 9/14 @ 10:47 pm #
- JD – You forgot XENOPHOBE IMPERIALISTIC HEDGEMONIC GODBOTHERING THESPIAN….Although naybe Feets is the only resident Thespian…..
Comment by me on 9/14 @ 10:49 pm #
Knock-Knock.
Who’s there.
Notre Dame vs. Michigan.
Who gives a shit.
Comment by happyfeet on 9/14 @ 10:54 pm #
I don’t get it.
Comment by happyfeet on 9/14 @ 10:55 pm #
Oh. #29. Well, #30 too.
Comment by happyfeet on 9/14 @ 10:56 pm #
If you’re going to use words that hurt hold off though. I’m feeling fragile.
Comment by me on 9/14 @ 11:01 pm #
knock knock
who’s there?
feel
feel who
feel this!
Comment by happyfeet on 9/14 @ 11:03 pm #
Larry?
Comment by maggie katzen on 9/15 @ 12:29 am #
yeah, don’t mind me…. though I’ve never done a non-musical show, so maybe that doesn’t count. anyhoo, reports are I got the biggest laugh o’ the show tonight.
Comment by Big Bang (Pumping you up) on 9/15 @ 12:39 am #
- Aw maggie. No way. You’re dah bestest. I was just giving Feets his weekend “word up” assignment.
….and happy. I’m not sure but I think Storch has passed, although now that you’ve mentioned him, I’ll forever picture Caric in Larry’s image. *smirkle*
Comment by maggie katzen on 9/15 @ 12:54 am #
heh, my desperate ploy for attention worked. ;D
good luck with the assignment happyfeet.
Comment by happyfeet on 9/15 @ 1:43 am #
ok, I’m on thespian duty then. And good job, maggie.
Oh – that was supposed to be a Larry Craig joke, BB. I guess that’s kind of too last week. Things are moving very fast out there.
Comment by Rusty on 9/15 @ 5:33 am #
What’s green and invades Poland…………………….
Snotzies!!
Even though they don’t get the first part, since it has the word snot in it, it’s guaranteed to get a laugh out of a little kid. The word ‘poop’ is also good.
Comment by Lost My Cookies on 9/15 @ 6:48 am #
Number 3 son: knock knock
LMC: who’s there?
Number 3 son: Oswald?
LMC: Oswald who?
Number 3 son: Oswald my gum!
LMC: not Oswald the patsy for the fruit companies, the CIA, the Republicans, LBJ and the Mob?
Number 3 son: um…no?
LMC: BULLSHIT!
Comment by McGehee on 9/15 @ 7:01 am #
Oswald the other friend of Drew Carey.
Comment by Swen Swenson on 9/15 @ 7:39 am #
You forgot JEZEBELS!
Comment by Dan Collins on 9/15 @ 7:47 am #
Ow. Too many decibels in those Jezebels.
Comment by The Ouroboros on 9/15 @ 8:02 am #
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Interrupting Cow
Interrupting Cow Wh……
MOOOOOO!!
(Ok..you kinda have to say this one out loud)
Comment by Sticky B on 9/15 @ 8:39 am #
Knock Knock.
Who dere?
Alaska.
Alaska who?
Alaska you one more fookin’ time to shut dis thread down or else….
Comment by McGehee on 9/15 @ 9:35 am #
Alaska simple question and you’ll give a simple answer, ‘kay?
Comment by mishu on 9/15 @ 10:20 am #
Phosphorus in detergents and fertilizers that gets into rivers and lakes through wastewater and runoff promotes algae blooms, which reduce the amount of oxygen available for other aquatic plants and fish…
huh?
Comment by JD on 9/16 @ 5:32 pm #
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying on the beach?
Sandy
Home plate
or frisbee
Trackback by Tylenol liver damage. on 11/5 @ 6:19 am #
Tylenol….
Tylenol 3. Urinary bleeding and tylenol. Can dogs take tylenol. Tylenol 3 no prescription. Tylenol. Tylenol liver damage….