check-out lady: “Need anything else? Stamps, ice…?”
CJ: “Well, a little less defeatism from our national Democrats would be welcome.”
check-out lady: “If you say so — though they’d probably counter that a little more realism from bloodthirsty warmongers might be nice. Paper or plastic?”
CJ: “Plastic.”
CJ: “– And you know what? Triple-bag that shit, too. Freakin’ Hippie.”
Comment by RiverC on 9/14 @ 11:06 am #
At least she didn’t make you buy hemp bags.
‘I’m sorry sir, but you’ll need to buy a bag.’
Comment by wishbone on 9/14 @ 11:10 am #
Not to be pushy–but any sign of the kevlar dancer at the bottom of one of those ungreen bags?
Comment by JD on 9/14 @ 11:19 am #
wishbone – That is kind of like asking a salesman for the price of something. If you have to ask, it ain’t dancing.
Keep your head down, stay safe.
Comment by McGehee on 9/14 @ 11:22 am #
I wondered where that crackpot lady who used to clerk at my local gas station/convenience store got to.
Comment by JD on 9/14 @ 11:26 am #
I think she prolly spit on your fresh fruits and veggies while you were fumbling with your wallet. Wash them well before eating them.
Comment by Radish on 9/14 @ 11:37 am #
Surely someone here can draw cartoon heads well enough to turn these dialogs into a strip.
Comment by psychologizer on 9/14 @ 11:42 am #
Get with the times, citizen. It’s asking for paper that most offends the offendable at the “hippie” — i.e., millionaire housewife — grocery stores now.
Plastic is okay (San Francisco said so), but anything other than “I brought my own rasta-striped Vuitton-patterned woven hemp Euro-Sak with a Truther pin on it, thanks — oh, sorry, let me get that Jonathan Franzen book I didn’t hear about from Oprah and this (I casually mention) Injerto-stained PBS gift mug out of the way first,” can get you a pissed-on-his-chin face from the more earnest packer monkeys.
Comment by The Ouroboros on 9/14 @ 11:52 am #
check-out lady: Thank you! You saved $4.32 today. You have a nice day, Mr.. uhh.. Journalist…
(Rethuglican.. Hmmmph)
Comment by SeanH on 9/14 @ 12:46 pm #
I hope she put your bread in with your canned goods, FASCIST!
Comment by LionDude on 9/14 @ 2:02 pm #
Thank your Boca burgers that this didn’t happen at a Whole Foods. A trap door would have sent you falling into a vat of a boiling brew of skin-burning hazelnut “fair trade” coffee.
Comment by Karl on 9/14 @ 2:06 pm #
Where have you gone, Joleen?
Comment by Great Mencken's Ghost on 9/14 @ 2:17 pm #
No Blood for Creamed Corn, Imperialist Neocon Running Dog!
Comment by Jeffersonian on 9/14 @ 2:18 pm #
Hope you eat those baby seal steaks nice and rare, too.
Comment by Big Bang (Pumping you up) on 9/14 @ 2:29 pm #
- Apparently as a first step in the process of regenerating both of their careers, both Madonna and Britany have been targeted for beheading by the Jihadists. Not sure it would help either of their acts, but I suppose theres a chance it would help.
Comment by Doug on 9/14 @ 2:36 pm #
” a little more realism from bloodthirsty warmongers might be nice. ”
She doesn’t like Saddam?
Comment by MarkD on 9/14 @ 2:38 pm #
At least she didn’t put the cans on top of the potato chips. You did check before you left the store, didn’t you?
Comment by Robin Roberts on 9/14 @ 3:12 pm #
Never go to Whole Foods unheeled, that’s my motto.
Comment by Big Bang (Pumping you up) on 9/14 @ 3:26 pm #
- Lets be clear here. No one is accusing the NYT of impartial fair and balanced journalism.
….What…?
….Another thread…. hmmmm….. Well then nevermind….
Comment by Just Me on 9/14 @ 6:06 pm #
Hmmmmm, I could have sworn that lady works at my office who blames lost voice mails on that damn Patriot Act. Maybe she has a second job at the Safeway.
Comment by Major John on 9/14 @ 7:31 pm #
JM,
Heck, I believe the coffee machine not working to be the fault of NSA surveillance.
What?! Why are you all looking at me like that?
Comment by Spiny Norman on 9/14 @ 8:38 pm #
#10 LionDude,
Do I need to turn in my Right-Wing Death Beast™ badge if I admit I buy hazelnut fair trade coffee… and make my morning cuppa joe with a French press?
Boca burgers are right out, though. My burgers are 100% real beef. And none of that “extra lean” stuff, either: anything less than 22% comes out too damn dry.
Comment by Major John on 9/14 @ 9:45 pm #
Spiny,
22%? Dude, 90% lean is still good enough. You just have to slather it in A-1…
Comment by Robin Roberts on 9/14 @ 9:51 pm #
Spiny, I think you need some masculinity lessons … it was the French press that sent you into metrosexual territory.
Comment by wishbone on 9/14 @ 9:56 pm #
“You just have to slather it in A-1…”
BLASPHEMY!
Comment by maggie katzen on 9/15 @ 12:40 am #
In defense of the French press, I think RTO had one while he was in Afghanistan cause I don’t think he always had electricity. Or else he was just being kind when he thanked his mother for it.
Comment by McGehee on 9/15 @ 6:58 am #
French press? Is that the one that was going to account for Kerry’s 15-point margin of victory in ‘04?
Comment by Merovign on 9/15 @ 11:01 am #
I thought the French Press was what you used to make waffles.
And Karl, I’m thinkin’ Joleen got promoted.
Comment by McGehee on 9/16 @ 11:18 am #
Yet another Kerry connection.