Sadly, another “world’s oldest person” will just pop up to take this one’s place.
They’re a lot like “the poor” that way: every time one person pulls out of that lowest 10% of earners, another person slips down to fill the void.
We can only stand by and hope that a brave man — someone like John Edwards, for example — steps up to put an end to this kind of disproportionate lifespan OUTRAGE.
By, say, promising to make sure everyone dies at precisely the same age.
Fairness, you see. Equality.
Nuance.
****
(h/t Ace)
Comment by ThomasD on 8/14 @ 10:29 am #
Careful, you’re skirting dangerously close to an old Rush song.
Comment by Shawn on 8/14 @ 10:37 am #
Say, why’s this red spot on my hand glowing?
TW: perplexed inquiry
Comment by Eric J on 8/14 @ 10:39 am #
Boy, being World’s Oldest Person is about as rough as being Spinal Tap’s drummer.
Comment by BumperStickerist on 8/14 @ 10:59 am #
In an ideal world Harrison Bergeron would star in Logan’s Run.
Comment by ducktrapper on 8/14 @ 11:03 am #
The oldest person is dead! Long live the oldest person!
Comment by JD on 8/14 @ 11:09 am #
Is being Spinal Tap’s drummer as tough as being Keith Richard’s liver?
Comment by eLarson on 8/14 @ 11:22 am #
I blame Willard Scott.
Druck infection… sounds painful
Comment by Jason Leopold ;-) on 8/14 @ 11:30 am #
Look at this. KKKarl Rove announces his retirement prior to being frogmarched out of the people’s House, and now today, puppetmaster Goldstein throws a couple shiny sparkly objects at you to distract you from the failure of YOUR WAR in Iraq. And how very Republican of you to make fun of old people dying. What’s next? Starve some kids. Kill some dogs. Hate on some brown people. You people are disgusting.
Comment by Aldo on 8/14 @ 11:36 am #
Comment by ronaldo on 8/14 @ 11:40 am #
Good God, you sure could use some new rhetorical devices (and a sense of humor that has nothing to do with extreme right-wing politics).
Comment by Jeff G. on 8/14 @ 11:47 am #
And some bug spray, apparently.
Comment by McGehee on 8/14 @ 11:48 am #
Poor ‘Naldo, constantly forced to visit a site that offers him nothing redeeming or even amusing. Have you ever considered wrapping your handcuffs around your jailer’s neck and throttling him so you could escape and maybe surf some porn or something instead?
Comment by Carin on 8/14 @ 11:55 am #
and a sense of humor that has nothing to do with extreme right-wing politics).
Poor ‘Naldo must have missed the Martha
pornprison diaries. Shame.Comment by Jeff G. on 8/14 @ 11:55 am #
Like so many on the left who profess their hatred for my kind, ronaldo just can’t quit me.
Probably my cowboy hat.
Comment by JD on 8/14 @ 12:00 pm #
Ronald – If you so despise this place, and objectively have no sense of humor, why is it that you not only continue to read this blog, but force yourself to comment as well ?
Comment by Jim in KC on 8/14 @ 12:04 pm #
Certainly easier to achieve than making Christopher Reeve walk again.
Comment by DarthRove on 8/14 @ 12:13 pm #
Half of the doctors granted degrees by our Big Pharm-dominated health care fiasco actually graduated in the bottom half of their class!!! Only Michael Moore can save us!!!
Comment by Percy Dovetonsils on 8/14 @ 12:14 pm #
“extreme right-wing politics”?
You don’t get out much, do you, lad?
Comment by Robin Roberts on 8/14 @ 12:33 pm #
That was hilarious Jeff, because it sounded just like something that Silky Pony would come up with.
Comment by ducktrapper on 8/14 @ 12:43 pm #
I could use some new rhetorical devices, as well. Where do you find yours Ronaldo? Hardware or underware?
Comment by MMShillelagh on 8/14 @ 12:57 pm #
Under there…
Ha! I just made you say “underwear.”
Comment by Belvedere Jones on 8/14 @ 1:15 pm #
http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070814/LOCAL0602/708140399/1195/LOCAL18
The dead woman’s successor has been located, curiously enough residing at the same facility as the world’s tallest woman.
Comment by eLarson on 8/14 @ 1:17 pm #
Probably my cowboy hat.
Huh… I had pictured something like a Bowie Baysox cap.
Reichs Danes It got the Danish part right, but yeesh…
Comment by LionDude on 8/14 @ 1:30 pm #
Why not start a watch for the World’s Most Stale Person? I vote for Robert Redford. Or Harry Reid.
Comment by Christopher Taylor on 8/14 @ 2:13 pm #
Of course, because she was Japanese, she looked 60.
Comment by Jeff G. on 8/14 @ 2:22 pm #
Fish oil.
Comment by BJTexs on 8/14 @ 2:24 pm #
BECAUSE OF THE OMEGA 3′S!!!!!
Comment by JD on 8/14 @ 4:37 pm #
Jeff & BJ
Fish oil – You have no idea how pervasive the smell of Nuc Mam, Vietnamese fish oil, can be.
After a weekend with all of the extended family of in-laws, and what seems like most of the Vietnamese community in Indy, my house smells of Nuc Mam for at least a week. I think the smell permeates the drywall, slate, granite, and even the flagstone exterior.
Comment by Dan Collins on 8/14 @ 5:31 pm #
Someone is killing the world’s oldest people!
Comment by Ouroboros on 8/14 @ 8:25 pm #
Yeah.. and what’s up with all those freakin babies? A whole portion of our population that they keep springin on us, that will live long after I’m taking the long dirt nap….? How come they’re entitled to live ’til 2080, 2090, maybe even 2100 and I gotta check out by 2035… ? Cause they’re a minority, that’s why. Freakin Liberals.. Next they’ll be cutting them Baby American Restitution Payments for being born late…
Comment by Sean M. on 8/15 @ 2:45 am #
I, personally, don’t think we should have to live in “Two Americas.” It’s just not fair that there’s one America where a select few Japanese women live to be well over one hundred years old and another America where I’ll probably drink, smoke, and eat myself to death by the time I’m forty.
Help me, please help me Silky Pony! Make the government do something!
(Without me having to make any lifestyle changes, that is. That’s a dealbreaker right there.)
Comment by ducktrapper on 8/15 @ 8:53 am #
Dan – We better get Dick Van Dyke, the world’s oldest detective, on the case.
Comment by TheGeezer on 8/15 @ 9:29 am #
From the article above:
Comment by Dan Collins on 8/15 @ 9:31 am #
Van Dyke? I’d rather have that creepy death cat curl up beside me than have Angela Lansbury or Van Dyke around anyplace I was staying. They’re menaces, and I suspect they’re serial murderers who are pinning all these crimes on innocent people.
Comment by ducktrapper on 8/15 @ 9:39 am #
Hmmm. Maybe Dick is systematically eliminating the competition to become the world’s oldest something or other. So, what did happen to George Burns, anyway? I thought he’d live forever.
Comment by JD on 8/15 @ 9:42 am #
Geezer – They lived to be 114 and 113 by drinking Guinness!
Comment by Jeff G. on 8/15 @ 10:40 am #
Even on my current workout routine I allow myself one pint of Guinness each evening to wind down.
Which is likely why I’m not able to lose as much body fat as I want — but why I also don’t really care so much, either.
TW: regimen Dublin
Great. Now I’m creeping myself out…
Trackback by Camera Accessories on 8/25 @ 12:54 am #
Camera Accessories…
Then trigger the camera remotely with the included remote control. Kodak …
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