— At least, that’s how I explained it to the two ranch hands who threatened to turn me in for killing a couple head of cattle with my Excalibur Exomax crossbow.
Methane, I explained to them. Carbon blankets. Somebody has to do something, no?
At which point they agreed to let me go for a Ronnie Milsap CD and a clump of dog hair I convinced them was trim leftover from a Shania Twain Brazil wax.
So. Who wants steak?
Comment by McGehee on 7/6 @ 9:19 am #
You musta growed up back East. It’s “a couple head of cattle,” not heads.
Dang tenderfoot.
Comment by Dan Collins on 7/6 @ 9:20 am #
I’d LOVE some.
Comment by Dan Collins on 7/6 @ 9:21 am #
He hit ‘em in the heads, McGehee.
Comment by Jeff G. on 7/6 @ 9:22 am #
Just a typo, McGehee.
Comment by B Moe on 7/6 @ 9:42 am #
I think I will just stick to salad:
http://tinyurl.com/27qa5o
Especially since we may have lost the One True Savior:
http://tinyurl.com/yovrk3
Comment by RiverCocytus on 7/6 @ 9:46 am #
I’m of the opinion that your money would be well spent on an Extrema 2, replace your old, inefficient shotgun with a more eco-friendly, 12-rounds in 2 seconds shotgun that gas vents more effectively, releasing fewer poisons into the atmosphere.
I’ve been ‘contributing’ by starting my own garden, which I will use to get ‘organic’ vegetables at some fraction of the cost of the ones you buy at the store. Less gas consumed for traveling to the store, plus, an excuse to use the Extrema 2 on some deer who for God’s sake, need to not eat my stuff.
Plus, Deer Farts? I hear they are like, number 20 on the carbon list too. Anyway, I use all of the deer – you know, tan the skin, eat the meat, use the bones for body decoration…
Well, ok, I lied about the last one. And maybe some of the other stuff was embellished. But its for the Earth, man.
Comment by Attila (Pillage Idiot) on 7/6 @ 10:35 am #
I think we need some live-blogging of the concert from, well, say, from the location of the Republican National Convention or something.
Comment by steveaz on 7/6 @ 12:03 pm #
Me? I’m doin’ my part too.
I’m raging on Stoli’s and Advil, and I’m out in the back 40 mowing down my prairie with the used, $30 Toro, self-propelled lawn mower I got downtown, without the spark arrestor on!
Damned warming. I’m over it, and there’s nothing like a big smoke cloud for blocking the sun’s radiant heat.
Living on the edge in the dry American West. Slim Pickens riding the nuke in “The Stand:” Yipee Ki Yay!
Comment by Patrick Carroll on 7/6 @ 1:31 pm #
God! All I can think about is pulling on my Harp Seal slippers, hopping into my ‘97 Explorer and driving over to Bluepointe (http://tinyurl.com/2ugeue) for a couple of plates of their Kobe beef salad (http://tinyurl.com/3449h5).
Comment by RDub on 7/6 @ 1:59 pm #
OT: As though there wasn’t enough evidence of Metallica’s douchebaggery in the last 15 years or so, today I find out they’re in England to play in this weekend’s idiotic feel-good fest.
Comment by gebrauchshund on 7/6 @ 2:13 pm #
Slim Pickens riding the nuke in “The Stand:â€Â
Was that the movie about the Germans bombing Pearl Harbor?
Comment by BJTexs on 7/6 @ 2:26 pm #
Um, steveaz. Slim Pickens rode the nuke in .Dr. Strangelove. Perhaps you were thinking of the actor who played Max Headroom. He rode the nuke into Vegas in The Stand.
As for you, Goldstein, you’re not fooling anybody. All of the savings in cow farts will be demolished by that big, smokey barbeque you’re going to fire up, not to mention all of the hickory and cherry wood chips that will give up their carbon JUST SO YOU AND YOUR IRRESPONSIBLE FRIENDS CAN EAT ANIMAL FLESH!!!!!
What,you didn’t think anyone would notice?
Lastly, I can’t tell you how thrilled I am that the Phillies will be starting 2 rookie pitchers with all of 1 game of MLB experience each against that evil Rock’s lineup in that evil park.
Could be ugly… Like having signed Pat Burrell to a $50 million dollar contract to hit .207 with as many homeruns as the little Hawaiian Victorino AND is now a part time player.
Comment by steveaz on 7/6 @ 6:55 pm #
BJTexas,
I never saw the ‘94 movie of “The Stand” with Max Headroom.
My allusion came from Micheal Bay’s film, “Armageddon.”
Thanks, though, for keeping me on my toes. Now back to the weed-patch out back!
Comment by SGT Ted on 7/7 @ 5:31 am #
Hey now, I’m sure Jeffs BBQ is Earth Friendly,
Trackback by Excalibur Exomax Crossbow on 11/7 @ 10:16 am #
Excalibur Exomax Crossbow
Manufacturer of hunting crossbows and equipment. crossbow