Garrett: “It’s unfortunate, but in this business — the entertainment business, I mean, not drug rehab — these kinds of messy divorces happen sometimes. To give you just one example, Susanna Hoffs, whom I once considered a good friend, still won’t talk to me — all because I got zoomed on Special K at a Bangles concert in like, ‘87, and afterwards supposedly spent a few minutes crawling around backstage on all fours trying to nose my way into her pooter while doing some Jack Russell Terrier role playing exercises for acting class.
“And it’s like, hey, whatever happened to forgive and forget, Susanna, you know? — but evidently getting naked and humping Debbi Peterson’s drum set was the straw that broke the camel’s back, even though I still maintain that sexing up a Ludwig is exactly what a whacked out Jack Russell Terrier would do, were he to inexplicably find himself backstage at at Bangles concert…”*
Comment by Jeff G. on 6/20 @ 10:08 am #
Working on 4 hours sleep, by the way. Not that any of you will be able to tell.
Punks.
Comment by Robert on 6/20 @ 10:12 am #
Even on 4 hours sleep, that post was 99% perfect, Jeff. If you’d managed to work in the word <i>squeakhole</i> it would have been a totally perfect post.
Comment by Pablo on 6/20 @ 10:20 am #
Susanna Hoffs, circa 1987? Who could blame him?
Comment by damececily on 6/20 @ 10:20 am #
Leif might have had more success had he tried that backstage with Madonna. She might have incorporated it into her on-stage show, and voila, a moribund career is reborn!
Comment by cranky-d on 6/20 @ 10:20 am #
That should make the more surreal just come very naturally.
Comment by Jim in KC on 6/20 @ 10:23 am #
Either that or crap on the stage and then stage-dive into some appealing front-row cleavage…
Comment by Karl on 6/20 @ 10:25 am #
Between theis post and the Chris berman critique, it’s safe to say that JG is “back-back-back-back-back!â€Â
And by "safe," I’m referring to the fact that no one can physically strike me at the moment.
Comment by Jim in KC on 6/20 @ 10:25 am #
Either that or crap on the stage and then stage-dive into some appealing front-row cleavage…
Comment by Jim in KC on 6/20 @ 10:27 am #
<blockquote>I still maintain that sexing up a Ludwig is <em>exactly</em> what a whacked out Jack Russell Terrier would do, were he to inexplicably find himself backstage at at Bangles concert…â€Â</blockquote><p> Either that or crap on the stage and then stage-dive into some appealing front-row cleavage…</p> (I have no idea at this point how this will end up formatted)
Comment by Jim in KC on 6/20 @ 10:28 am #
<blockquote>I still maintain that sexing up a Ludwig is <em>exactly</em> what a whacked out Jack Russell Terrier would do, were he to inexplicably find himself backstage at at Bangles concert…â€Â</blockquote><p> Either that or crap on the stage and then stage-dive into some appealing front-row cleavage…</p>
Comment by Jim in KC on 6/20 @ 10:29 am #
<blockquote>I still maintain that sexing up a Ludwig is <em>exactly</em> what a whacked out Jack Russell Terrier would do, were he to inexplicably find himself backstage at at Bangles concert…â€Â</blockquote><p> Either that or crap on the stage and then stage-dive into some appealing front-row cleavage…</p>
At this point, I have no idea how this will be formatted.
Comment by wishbone on 6/20 @ 10:31 am #
"the deepening of the Rosie O’Donnell / Elisabeth Hasselback falling out" I sure hope that 5,000 years from now this does NOT constitute the critical part of our era’s Rosetta stone. Because my ghost will be pissed enough to cause steel to melt for the first time in history ever.
Comment by Jim in KC on 6/20 @ 10:34 am #
<blockquote>I still maintain that sexing up a Ludwig is <em>exactly</em> what a whacked out Jack Russell Terrier would do, were he to inexplicably find himself backstage at at Bangles concert…â€Â</blockquote><p> Either that or crap on a speaker and then stage-dive into some appealing front-row cleavage…</p>
Comment by happyfeet on 6/20 @ 10:38 am #
Things have been said that cannot be unsaid. Rosie and Elisabeth played a dangerous game and lost, but the daytime television audience is the wiser for it.
Comment by Pablo on 6/20 @ 10:38 am #
Susanna Hoffs, circa 1987? Who can blame him?
Comment by Eric J on 6/20 @ 11:54 am #
It’s the specificity that makes you so great, Jeff. Anyone could come up with Leif Garrett backstage at the Bangles. But to pull Debbi Petersen’s name out of your ass (or even out of Wikipedia) that’s what keeps me coming back.
Comment by slackjawedyokel on 6/20 @ 12:31 pm #
Perhaps they can reconcile by cohosting The Price is Right.
Comment by happyfeet on 6/20 @ 1:02 pm #
I’ve kind of been wondering about how surreal it will be for Rosie to be host while scantily clad women run around flipping over price tags and whatever. I’m not sure they’ve thought this all the way through.
Comment by Karl on 6/20 @ 8:25 pm #
Hey, someone has to grope the models after Bob leaves!
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