May 23, 2007

Fifty-fifth in a series of real-time empirical observations

In the time it takes you to read this post, former President Jimmy Carter will have once again solved crises in both the middle east and North Korea, jotting down, on the back of a paper muffin skin, a set of fullproof foreign policy prescriptions (“1. diplomacy 2.  free beans.  3. TBA 4.  peace!”) before rushing off to the head for the third time in twenty minutes –cursing, along the way, “all those sneaky Jew doctors” who refuse to “release the cure” for prostate inflammation to “anybody not named ‘Rosenberger’ or ‘Goldenheimstein’ or some such.”

Posted by Jeff G. @ 10:13am
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Comments (16)

  1. …and carefully checking the bathroom stalls to see if Alan Dershowitz is hiding nearby, wanting to talk about Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid. Dershowitz makes Jimmah’s angina start to act up…

  2. At Dachau, the SS extracted several tons of gold from hemorrhoids . . .

  3. Do you remember Miz Lillian?

  4. “anybody not named ‘Rosenberger’ or ‘Goldenheimstein’ or some such.”

    …and those diabolical Cohenbergbaums, something, who lived just outside of Plains and absolutely controlled the tourist traffic with those fiendishly tasty knishes…

  5. CampDavidCampDavidCampDavidCampDavidCampDavid

  6. Um, did I do that?

    I blame da Joos.

  7. Isn’t Step 3 supposed to be “Profit!”?

  8. Do you remember Miz Lillian?

    Remember her?  Heck, I saw her stuffed and mounted in a display case in the VMI Museum just last month.

    Oh, wait.  That was Stonewall Jackson’s horse.

  9. Hmmmm. I just figured out the name of the next James Bond villain – A Jewish meglomaniac gynecologist, Dr. Goldenhymen.

  10. Bond:  “Move away from the G-Spot, Dr Goldenhymen”

    Goldenhymen:  “Yeah.  As if!”

  11. Heh1

    not to mention the possibilities inherent to the evil sidekick yenta!

    “Oy, vay, would you kill this pasty shagetz already and marry a nice jewish girl!”

  12. Then a surprised Jimmah finds Gefilte fish in his pita sandwich

  13. Dhimmy Carter is not only the worst president since WWII, he may well be one of the ten worst men on the planet today. His preening, blind, smug self-righteousness is almost in a class by himself, as though the word Carter should become the standard by which we measure hypocrisy.

    Also, is it just me or is ol’ Jimmah looking more and more like Alred E. Newman?

  14. Alfred E. Neuman resents that.

    Not the misspelling, the other thing.

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