April 26, 2007

Fifty-fourth in a series of real-time empirical observations

In the time it takes you to read this post, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, secretly enjoying all the attention his recent verbal diarrhea has garnered him, will jot down on a breakfast napkin at least six other wars the US needs to pull out of—having lost them, too—among which he includes “the war on drugs,” “the war on poverty,” and “the war on Congressional Ethics Violations.”

—Though once the jolt of sugar from his raspberry scone hits him, he’ll suddenly realize the implications of his list, look around furtively, blush a bit of the gray out of his face, then ball the stupid thing up and stuff it into the lip of his single-serving cardboard orange juice carton before Chuck Schumer sees it and really coughs up a nut.

Posted by Jeff G. @ 11:46am
14 comments | Trackback

Comments (14)

  1. I propose a new term to be added to our lexicon. I offer harryreid, as in “to lose, to quit to give up, to be a loser.”

    Examples:

    “Did you ever find your car keys?”

    “No, I harryreid them”.

    “Did the Nationals beat the Phils last night?”

    “Nah, they harryreid.”

    “Can you solve for the square root of 124?”

    “No, that’s too hard. I harryreid.”

    “Do you see that a-hole at the other end of the bar?”

    “Yes, he’s a real idiot.”

    “A slacker.”

    “A real harryreid”.

    “She used to be so slim, but after having 5 kids she really harryreid her figure.”

  2. Harry looks more like the bran muffin type, Jeff. Check out his normal expression; does Harry look regular to you?

    Also, you left a “gets” in that last sentence that needs to be removed.

  3. You make the erroneous assumption that Harry Reid is capable of experiencing shame.

  4. House Majority Leader Harry Reid

    I would point out that Harry Reid is actually in the Senate, but that would only get me called a ‘snob’ again…

    So lucky for us all that I won’t do that, innit?

    TW: A long, long time ago51

  5. Your forbearance is much appreciated, DW.

  6. *the war on Congressional Ethics Violations.”*

    My understanding is New Orleans Congressman Jefferson will be chairing this committee.

  7. Schumer has a nut to cough up? Borrowed? Rented? Pelosi’s?

  8. I think you’re on to something, Jeff.  We need to build timetables into all enabling legislation for new programs, to the effect that if they don’t reach a stated percentage of their target population within a certain time, or can’t be shown to be effective via large-scale quantitative program evaluations, they’ll be completely de-funded within 6 months of this determination, and their titles struck from the code.  We also need to start extracting firm promises from agency heads regarding the timetables for specific program outcomes, with threats of subpoenas, perjury convictions and contempt citations if those goals aren’t met.

    Have a look at the PART scores in the PMI for the last few years to see how much smaller the government gets if we do this…

  9. Gee, is Reid Senate Majority leader?  I didn’t know that.

    Thanks for publicly pointing out my errors again.  Makes me want to get right back up on the bike and give it another go.

    To wit:  House Maj –

    No, wait.  Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.

    Ah…..  That’s the stuff!

  10. Thanks for publicly pointing out my errors again.  Makes me want to get right back up on the bike and give it another go.

    DW, lay off – I AM THE TYPO KING!!!

    Jeff, You have many miles to go to get to MY level of typos, pal! So bakc fof! hhe.

  11. Hey, I said I wasn’t gonna say anything, didn’t I?  zipper

  12. will jot down on a breakfast napkin

    Sheryl Crow is going to be so pissed.

  13. She had plans for that napkin?

  14. =”http://www.xrum.977mb.com”>new year foto

Leave a Reply