protein wisdom: the triumphant return post (procatalepsis)
Eh, give it about another week or so. And no, you still can’t use my Kithchen Aid Ultra blender. The last time somebody commandeered that thing in my absence, I spent several tedious hours plucking anejo-bloated grub worm bits out of the blade shaft. Not only that, but a couple of ex-agency beets went missing, too—a “logistical” snafu that continues to cause my dolphin friend no end of trouble.
—Though I have to admit, that last batch of borscht? Had such a sweet mellow kicker that it was almost worth being strapped to a polygraph machine four times in little under a week, then made to sit naked on a block of ice until certain people were convinced I’d simply eaten one too many poppy seed bagels.*