November 30, 2006

Top Five Reasons to Take Percocet (CraigC)

5: It gets you really high.

4: That little mishap with the electric carving knife?  Only a flesh wound.

3: You wake up at 2:30 a.m. to see a zebra at the foot of your bed staring at you…and you feel just fine about it and go back to sleep.

2: You wake up at 4:30 a.m. and go to the kitchen for a drink of water, stand in the living room staring at the Christmas tree for 10 minutes waiting for it to get out of your way, finally go around it, drink your water, and go back to sleep.

And the Number One Reason To Take Percocet: Did I mention that it gets you really high?

Posted by CraigC @ 7:53am

Comments (12)

  1. NFL referees stand at the foot of my bed every night, too.  Pests.

    I find that a good spray of John-Gruden-Going-Chucky scowl sends them on their way.

  2. – I find a pic of John Madden taped to the bed post puts the refs to flight. For the christmas tree, I just set the chain saw out on the patio where the tree can see it through the door glass. The tree stays right in the corner, and doesn’t budge a pine needle.

  3. What is it with drug-induced hallucinations and the foot of the bed?  I think they really like it down there.

  4. Had a really severe infection in my elbow this past summer (true , however I will not elaborate), I seem to recall the percocet helping though …………..if I remember correctly……

    tw: hospital41, that’s fucking cruel , I’m 42 .

  5. I seem to recall the percocet helping though

    If you remember the Percocet…

  6. 6. Ran out of Oxycontin

  7. Percoset was fabulous for post-op pain relief after my ACL replacement surgery.  I realized it was time to stop when I noticed my bottom lip drooping off of my skull.  I’m not kidding.

  8. Never had it.  I had demerol over a long period of time.  The hallucinations started after a few days.

    The best stuff is still sweet sister morphine.  Never a hallucination for me on that.


  9. 6. Ran out of Oxycontin

    Perocet is oxycontin (oxycodone) wrapped in a shell of tylenol.  Don’t any of you idiots drink alcohol on it neither…

  10. Uh, well, that would be a reason to take Percocet, then, wouldn’t it, Kakistocrat.

    Try to follow the premise.  Then think:  You’ve run out of the pure stuff, so now you’re reduced to taking it with a Tylenol coating.

  11. What can you expect of a guy who doesn’t know what his trolling handle means?

  12. When I injured my spine and had to quell the pain for several days, using legally prescribed Tylenol 3, (with codeine, if I recall), the two points of interest were that the soap operas suddenly became very complicated and profound dramas, and after 3 days of zero bowel movements the sudden gas pains took me to my knees. 

    The Ear, Nose and Throat exam with the USP grade cocaine hydrochloride spray up my nose was much much more enjoyable, despite the 12 inch optical sinus probe that followed the spritz.  And the doc was always so very happy, too….

    tw: Is higher86 a level of consciousness, or a D&D rank?