August 24, 2006

red pills found behind the sofa cushions, green pills edition (prolepsis 2)

Just woke from another of my vivid blue agave dreams (hundreds of naked Indians labor to build an enormous casino inside the hollowed-out carcass of a giant, magical buffalo, the buffet to which features nothing but kippers, wild salmon, and owl kabobs)—only to find a curious note from my hoodie.

Seems he’s been “living a lie” and has decided to run off with a pastel short sleeve button down Madras and some Perry Ellis 3/4-ankle leather boots he met at a Ross clearance sale.

Which means more Funyons for me, I guess. 

For their part, a couple of the decommissioned agency beets I’ve been safehousing seem relieved he’s gone.  But then, they’re so paranoid that one of them actually shot up my tea kettle a month back because he swore the whistling was “a Romanian vapor spy” calling in a willy pete strike on the veggie crisper—so, you know, I try just to keep them fixed for Smack and then avoid eye contact whenenver possible.

Posted by Jeff G. @ 3:08am
24 comments | Trackback

Comments (24)

  1. Seems he’s been “living a lie” and has decided to run off with a pastel short sleeve button down Madras and some Perry Ellis 3/4-ankle leather boots he met at a Ross clearance sale.

    CLOTHING ORGY!!!!

    Now that’s irony.

  2. If only you had let your Hoodie post more often, he might have landed a sweet gig with Time magazine by now.

    Just consider this a lesson. And be glad it wasn’t your boxers that decided to “come out of the drawer”.

  3. “a Romanian vapor spy”

    Dracula? In your kitchen? It could happen.

  4. A button-down madras?  Dude, you’re totally harshing my mellow.  There can’t be such a thing.

  5. This is great stuff, but there’s a new CIA recruiting ad running that….

    Wait, Jeff, did you produce that?  Bugs crawling all over pop-culture electronica doodles?

    Damn, you’re in deeper than we knew….

    tw: “training” shee-it.

  6. Jack M,

    I am just airing this but,

    Dude you totally bogarted by Sully bash!

  7. … you’re a weird motherfucker.

  8. I don’t know which worries me more:  that you have this kind of of imagination, or that I find it hilarious and admire it so…

    TW:  Jeff gives new meaning to intellectual property.

  9. Dracula? In your kitchen? It could happen.

    I’m always leery of the burger-flipping thingies. I mean, how big a leap is it from Dracula to Spatula?

  10. Ah, but ws it a sacred White buffalo?

    Or were they indians from the Indian sub-continent and it was a sacred water buffalo?

    Details, jeff, details!

    tw: clearly – I just overdosed on irony.

  11. Ok, I’ve had it with the bastardization of our popular culture.

    I just saw someone, some bastard, actually used Ren and Stimpy’s “Happy Happy Joy Joy” in a friggin’ ad!

    Is nothiing sacred?

  12. “Stimpy!  You sick little monkey!  What do you have hiding behind your back?!”

  13. Ixnay on the eets-bay.

    SB: cut

    it out

  14. I guess I’ll have to learn to be content that I still understand most of the political posts.

    I’m starting to wonder if I made the right decision when I just said no. There’s evidently a whole ‘nother world out there I’m unaware of.

  15. Outfucknstanding, You da man

  16. Naked Bucks Out for Greenbacks as

    “Better-Dead-Than-Red” Beets Celebrate Clothes Take-Off

  17.  Morpheus: I imagine that right now you’re feeling a little like Alice,

    tumbling down the rabbit-hole…I can see it in your eyes. You have the look of

    a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up.

    Ironically, this is not far from the truth…Let me tell you why you are here.

    You’re here because you know something. What you know, you can’t explain. But

    you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life. That there’s something wrong

    with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in

    your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do

    you know what I’m talking about?

     

     Neo: The Matrix?

     

     Morpheus: Do you want to know what it is?

     

     Neo: (nods)

     

     Morpheus: The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us, even now, in this

    very room. You can see it when you look out your window, or when you turn on

    your television. You can feel it when you go to work, or when you go to

    church, or when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over

    your eyes to blind you from the truth.

     

     Neo: What truth?

     

     Morpheus: That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else, you were born into

    bondage, born inside a prison that you cannot smell, taste, or touch. A

    prison for your mind. Unfortunately, no one can be told what the matrix is.

    You have to see it for yourself. (Produces a box containing two colored

    pills, one blue and one red.) This is your last chance. After this, there is

    no turning back. You take the blue pill, the story ends, you awake in your

    bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay

    in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes. (Pause. Neo

    reaches for the red pill.) Remember: all I’m offering is the truth, nothing

    more. (Neo swallows the red pill with a glass of water.)

    Sounds almost like reality…

  18. solana, nato war 1999

  19. “Stimpy, you blithering braincramp!”

  20. Warren Bonesteel…

    Coulda sworn I heard that name before, perhaps uttered by Mike and the Bots.

    But no.

  21. Seems he’s been “living a lie” and has decided to run off with a pastel short sleeve button down Madras and some Perry Ellis 3/4-ankle leather boots he met at a Ross clearance sale. [my emphases]

    Hey, I’m generally a live-and-let-live person, but a short-sleeve button-down and 3/4 ankle boots are both abominations of nature. You’re better off without him, Jeff. If he’s into that sort of thing.

    Gap has some nice new hoodies in for fall, I think.

  22. I found the pills. GG101 and is white olong. I try to find out, what is it!
    thak you

  23. I found the pills. it is white olong GG101, I want to know what is it!
    thank you

  24. I found the pills. it is white olong GG101, I want to know what is it!
    thank you

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