Merrick: “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!â€Â
Me: “I am. I am the walrus, bro.”
Merrick: “– I AM A HUMAN BEING!â€Â
Me: “Fine, have it your way. But just so’s you know, you’re missing out on some totally bitchin’ tusks.”
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August 31, 2006
My fifteenth brief conversation with the ghost of John Merrick
45 Comments ::: Post a comment »RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI: http://proteinwisdom.com/wp-trackback.php?p=6865 Leave a commentIf you want to leave a feedback to this post or to some other user´s comment, simply fill out the form below. |
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Comment by Pablo on 8/31 @ 7:25 pm #
And being the Eggman! I’ve always wanted to be the Eggman.
tw: Come together, right now…
Comment by ken on 8/31 @ 7:36 pm #
Well… well… I am Spartacus!
Comment by grouch on 8/31 @ 7:37 pm #
Uh, Chief, them ain’t tusks, it’s just wadded up kleenex.
Comment by Major John on 8/31 @ 7:41 pm #
Have you been mixing something in with the NyQuil? Personally a gin gimlet and NyQuil = 10 hour coma.
Comment by JohnAnnArbor on 8/31 @ 7:42 pm #
If you were a narwhal, you’d only have one.
But it would be VERY long….
Comment by BJTexs on 8/31 @ 7:54 pm #
Dude, snap the tusk off and make scrimshaw. They’re really valuable and make a fine mantle piece.
Comment by Meg Q on 8/31 @ 7:57 pm #
Damn. I wanted to be the Eggman.
Comment by Pablo on 8/31 @ 8:04 pm #
Meg, maybe you could be the Eggwoman, huh?
Goo goo g’ joob!
Comment by Nanook on 8/31 @ 8:07 pm #
Walrus be some mighty fine eatin’…
Comment by Meg Q on 8/31 @ 8:15 pm #
Eggwoman might be okay.
I’m just sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come . . .
Comment by Dan Collins on 8/31 @ 8:21 pm #
Walrus is destroying the town square mom & pop stores. Poleaxe on the ice when they’re helpless babies, I say.
Comment by Pablo on 8/31 @ 8:30 pm #
Hee hee hee
Ha ha ha…
Comment by JohnAnnArbor on 8/31 @ 8:40 pm #
Now the Islamists are dissing on Freddie Mercury.
Comment by Meg Q on 8/31 @ 9:23 pm #
Y’know, this is just going to sound wrong no matter how I say it, but sometimes it seems better when some people die young.
I mean, can you imagine a 60-year-old Freddie Mercury?
Sure, we see other 60+ rockers. But – Freddie Mercury?
It’s better to remember him as beautiful as he was.
Maybe.
TW Not sure if I’m on board with my own thought.
Comment by JohnAnnArbor on 8/31 @ 9:26 pm #
I didn’t mean to kill the thread. Carry on.
Comment by The Stout Republican on 8/31 @ 9:40 pm #
The thread has been officially killed.
Throwing out random subject…
The man who invented Jaegermeister also created Grey Goose…give me back my life!
and….go…
Comment by Techie on 8/31 @ 10:04 pm #
Goo goo jajoob.
Comment by oseaghdha on 8/31 @ 10:05 pm #
crickets
Comment by The Stout Republican on 8/31 @ 10:17 pm #
Sigh…
Comment by JohnAnnArbor on 8/31 @ 10:23 pm #
Tusks, dammit! Narwhals have them! Walri have them! Elephants have them!
But not elephant seals.
Discuss.
Comment by me on 8/31 @ 10:31 pm #
Are we talking Fleetwood Mac?
Comment by Charlie (Colorado) on 8/31 @ 10:58 pm #
Kookookachoo?
Comment by McGehee on 8/31 @ 11:20 pm #
That song put me off custard for life. Especially the yellow matter kind. Used to be my favorite, too.
Curse, you John Lennon!
Comment by Bill D. Cat on 8/31 @ 11:25 pm #
Maybe on topic, maybe off topic…it`s hard to tell around here….. I went through ALL of The Martha Stewart Chronicles last night for the first time(and yes i`m fucking blind today, curse your sick ass Goldstein). To any newbie here, check the archives. They truly are GOLD!!!!
TW: tribbing, as in Martha did`nt have much to look foreward to except …… never mind, not even a word generator would go where I was thinking of going.
Comment by dicentra on 8/31 @ 11:29 pm #
Oh, Bill. Please, don’t use the apostrophe next to the 1 key. Use the one next to the semicolon. What with the war going on and unrest in the Middle East, can we afford to be careless about our punctuation?
Comment by Bill D. Cat on 8/31 @ 11:38 pm #
Protein Wisdom rules! Informative and educational. Damned left leaning apostle thingy, my bad(it’s a Canadian thing EH!).
Comment by gahrie on 8/31 @ 11:39 pm #
No…I am Spartacus!
Comment by JD on 8/31 @ 11:51 pm #
No, I am Spartacus! Here, I’ll show you!
(unrolls poster of Helen Thomas in black rubber bra and garters)
Now, would anybody have sick shit like that and brag about it?
Ya Philistines…
Comment by Tman on 9/1 @ 12:14 am #
JD loses the thread.
…..blegh…..
Comment by ahem on 9/1 @ 12:14 am #
Goddammit. I always get here too late to be the Eggman. Can’t we have more than one Eggman? Please? I’m so fucking tired of being a Dead Dog’s Eye. I’m tired of the fucking Dead Dog’s Eye, I hate the fucking Dead Dog’s Eye. It doesn’t have any lines; it just sits there.
And whoever was playing the Dead Dog’s Eye before had B.O. or threw up in it or something because the costume smells. The armpits stink. There’s dried custard on the inside of the mask. It needs a good cleaning. It sucks.
What about Semolina Pilchard? Is that role still open?
JD: Helen Thomas? What are you trying to do? Run this blog into the ground?
Comment by Bill D. Cat on 9/1 @ 12:27 am #
ahem, every time I have to go to “Urban Dictionary”, I come back feeling far less clean. Please don’t make me look up Dead Dog’s Eye. I’m just trying to get over the Zen of “tribbing”…
Comment by lee on 9/1 @ 12:35 am #
ahem,
Hows about you be a smoking joker? The bitching is giving me a headache.
Comment by Insomniac on 9/1 @ 1:16 am #
Man, you’ve been a naughty boy
You let your face grow long
TW: The opposite of short.
Comment by McGehee on 9/1 @ 1:33 am #
Nobody gets to be the Semolina Pilchard but me. I’m the only one who knows the trick to climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
TW: elevator—okay, dammit, somebody’s gonna pay for that leak!
Comment by wishbone on 9/1 @ 1:54 am #
In one of the great “Plate of Shrimp” moments ever–the above was the name of the unrecorded Beatles reunion album.
Comment by Bill D. Cat on 9/1 @ 2:06 am #
Tribbing …….MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
Comment by lee on 9/1 @ 2:38 am #
That wasn’t the only thing that grew long…I saw the naughty girl with her knickers down.
Comment by Sean M. on 9/1 @ 2:50 am #
So…when do you figure the Pornographic Priestess is gonna stop by?
Comment by Scissor Edwardhands on 9/1 @ 4:31 am #
Me? I’m just in it for the hot wings and JoJos. Wull, that, and the complimentary foot massage from the slightly overweight librarian chick.
Comment by rightwingprof on 9/1 @ 3:07 pm #
Dude, that is like so insensitive.
Comment by Beck on 9/1 @ 4:02 pm #
Wouldn’t an elephant seal be more appropriate?
Comment by Beck on 9/1 @ 4:03 pm #
Oh, and before anyone else beats me to it…
SHUT THE FUCK UP DONNY!!!
Comment by rls on 9/1 @ 7:00 pm #
WHERE’S THE FUCKING PIE????
I WANT PIE!!
Comment by triticale on 9/2 @ 1:38 am #
I am Spartacme.
We are Spartacus.
Comment by McGehee on 9/2 @ 10:46 am #
I am Spartacus of Borg. You will be assimilated.