|
Return to Protein Wisdom homepage
« Hi, Jeff. Hope everything’s okay. Any chance all this excitement has the little guy ready to, you know— | Home | A post that explores what life might be like if oatmeal could speak, 9 / open thread »
July 30, 2006
the “I once saw a hobo get hit by a Jeep and bleed out” poem (and open thread)
I once saw a hobo get hit by
The air, I remember, smelled of
—While for my part, I smelled of large fries 104 Comments ::: Post a comment »RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI: http://proteinwisdom.com/wp-trackback.php?p=6798 Leave a commentIf you want to leave a feedback to this post or to some other user´s comment, simply fill out the form below. |
||
|
Comment by Jeff Goldstein on 7/30 @ 3:36 am #
If anybody needs me I’ll be selling blood. And my eggs.
Comment by McGehee on 7/30 @ 3:37 am #
It was obviously Carl’s fault for maintaining an attractive nuisance.
Comment by harrison on 7/30 @ 3:43 am #
You make more going the plasma-whore routine.
Steadier work, too.
Hope ya’ll are well.
Comment by Matt30 on 7/30 @ 3:45 am #
Shut up! I don’t know why that’s so friggin’ funny, but it is. You are the best, Jeff.
Comment by Melissa on 7/30 @ 3:56 am #
Hey!
Does this mean that you’re back? You weren’t gone long enough for me to miss you (that much). Welcome back!
tw: Still crazy after all these hours.
Comment by maggie katzen on 7/30 @ 4:10 am #
times like that, i’m glad i don’t have much of a sense of smell. when i can’t tell the milk’s gone bad? not so much.
Comment by JWebb on 7/30 @ 4:20 am #
I hope Jeep, Carl’s Junior, Seagram’s and Coke ad execs are reading your verse. They should cut some big time checks for prime product placement in a PW Poem, if nothing else. It should just about offset the lawsuits from the hobos, blood donors, urologists, university fraternity alumni, keggers unions and members of the saturated fat lobby.
Comment by Pablo on 7/30 @ 4:41 am #
What are you asking for the eggs? I’ve got a gene splicing project I’ve been meaning to get around to.
Comment by lee on 7/30 @ 5:25 am #
Do those eggs have little ABC logos on them?
‘Cause if they do, no thanks.
Comment by Splashman on 7/30 @ 5:50 am #
Okay, I’m going to sound like an ignoramus, but could someone clue me in? I hadn’t checked PW in a few days, and now I see the “Yeah, it ain’t worth it” post, which implies that our favorite psycho professor has initiated some kind of legal action. But I don’t see any previous posts that explains what’s going on.
So help me out here. What’s going on? (Or point me to another blog that explains it.)
Thanks!
Comment by BoZ on 7/30 @ 7:33 am #
OMFG.
Frank O’Hara is rollin’ over in Kenneth Koch’s grave.
It’s Hardee’s.
[Air fist!]
Comment by Dan Collins on 7/30 @ 9:09 am #
True. And that was rude of me. I apologize. Also, I condemn.
Comment by Redhand on 7/30 @ 10:57 am #
I agree. It’s impossible to figure out what the reason for the legal expenses is, or if Jeff’s son was physically injured in an accident.
I’m perplexed.
Comment by Pixie Pug on 7/30 @ 11:23 am #
Splashman,
You have to go back to Thurs. She went off again.
Also she showed up on the over 300 comments thread.
Also using sock puppets here & elswhere.
also she doesn’t like a blog called donthiredeb.blogspot.com
TW:ASK
and ye shall receive
Comment by Pixie Pug on 7/30 @ 11:25 am #
Sorry about the typos.
Comment by Rusty on 7/30 @ 1:09 pm #
What does fratboy panic,
smell like?
Old PBR?
Cheap cigars?
Warm may evenings,
a test on monday.
Cheerleader wannabes.
Stale vomit.
A road trip.
I’m pregnant.
Comment by Good Lt on 7/30 @ 1:23 pm #
I once saw a Philly hobo get hit by a car on the corner of Diamond and Broad on the way to class at 8:20 in the morning. Not pleasant. A sickening sound. Poor guy.
tw: That ain’t no sh*t, son.
Comment by MarkD on 7/30 @ 1:47 pm #
and my first reaction was, “ a hobo going to class at 8:30? Must have been a freshman.”
Comment by SarahWants brunch. A Human brunch. on 7/30 @ 1:59 pm #
I never saw a hobo hit,
I never hope to see one
For I can live it vividly
via Protein Wisdom
I sent money. Where’s my eggs.
Comment by oseaghdha on 7/30 @ 2:01 pm #
Hobos usually get the early classes.
Not sure, but it may have something to do with affirmative action.
TW: It’s the system.
Comment by RiverCoc on 7/30 @ 2:12 pm #
Praying things go well for you, Jeff. I’ll try to drop you some moolah later this week. I’ve been a bit pinched lately myself, but you know, silver coins and gold purses and all.
tw: faith is the evidence of things unseen & the substance of things hoped for.
Comment by RiverCocytus on 7/30 @ 2:14 pm #
wahahaha. Ok somehow my name got truncated. I blame firefox’s autocomplete feature, or maybe user error. Whichever user that is…
Anyway, I’ve got loads of flash work to do. Can’t stay around!
tw: fine, as in what kind of paste my mind has become…
Comment by Tai Chi Wawa on 7/30 @ 2:34 pm #
There are a million stories in the naked city. Many contain, in one form or another, some reference to booze.
Comment by McGehee on 7/30 @ 2:37 pm #
There’s nothing in the poem that says where it happened. It could have been in California, y’know.
Comment by Darleen on 7/30 @ 2:38 pm #
Splashman
For a good roundup, including screenshots, of “Dr” Demented Deb’s latest psychotic break, see Patterico’s post.
Comment by KM on 7/30 @ 2:49 pm #
I always smell gasoline when hobos get hit at that Carl’s Jr. It’s in a Shell station. I hate buying burgers at gas stations, especially with that hobo ambiance going on.
Comment by Semanticleo on 7/30 @ 3:00 pm #
Since this seems to be Limerick Sunday,
here’s mine;
There once was a lawyer named Scooter,
Who spied a spook’s spouse as a looter
He got caught in a trap
Agreed he would yap
And fingered his boss as the shooter.
Comment by McGehee on 7/30 @ 3:09 pm #
There once was a troll delusional
Whose world view was often contusional
She’ll still expect Fitzmas
Until charges are dismissed
And her recriminations will be effusional.
Comment by McGehee on 7/30 @ 3:10 pm #
Oh, and BTW Semi, what the FUCK made you delude yourself there were limericks in this thread before you crapped in it?
Comment by Semanticleo on 7/30 @ 3:33 pm #
McGee;
I simply made the same decision everyone else did.
To say, WETFIWTS. Just like you.
Comment by Semanticleo on 7/30 @ 3:36 pm #
BTW;
Yours is off-meter
Comment by McGehee on 7/30 @ 3:40 pm #
Maybe, but truth is a defense.
Comment by McGehee on 7/30 @ 3:42 pm #
Oh, and “whatever” is one word, not two.
Comment by Deborah Pryce on 7/30 @ 3:49 pm #
I really don’t think that is very funny. You’re giving all of us Republicans a bad name by your sometimes questionable behavior.
Can’t you just cool it for a few months? And BTW, get a job.
Comment by MarkD on 7/30 @ 4:05 pm #
I’m capable of giving myself a bad name. I never asked for help. Which probably accounts for the unevenly spaced posts on my deck, among other things.
Comment by B Moe on 7/30 @ 4:18 pm #
This is a Republican blog? Fuck that, I’m outta here.
Comment by republican on acid on 7/30 @ 4:26 pm #
I thought this was a secret lair for those who can name the secret names of BAAL with secret decoder rings.
Comment by Amy on 7/30 @ 4:34 pm #
Get back in the pool, B Moe! This blog is Classical Liberal, a now seemingly rare frame of reference in the ever shrill ululations eminating from the left and right. Of course you already knew that, did’t you, silly?
R on A: Shhhhhhh…
Never know who might be listening in the audience.
Comment by mojo on 7/30 @ 4:35 pm #
Huevos Rancheros, please. Wheat toast.
And can I get a side of bacon with that?
SB: southern
breakfast
Comment by SarahW on 7/30 @ 4:40 pm #
Republican on Acid –
Be sure to check your sofa cushions.
TW: Today’s name is: Pottery Barn, 100% linen.
Comment by CraigC on 7/30 @ 4:48 pm #
A jalapeno burger? Oh, the humanity.
Comment by republican on acid on 7/30 @ 5:59 pm #
Crazytown eh?
MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Comment by Semanticleo on 7/30 @ 6:01 pm #
Republican on Acid -
What happens when they smoke DMT?
Comment by republican on acid on 7/30 @ 6:54 pm #
They cane hobo’s while peaking for the extra rush and then when the 5th dimension dematerializes they realize the lunch break is over and go back to work as accountants.
Comment by my stars! on 7/30 @ 6:55 pm #
Craziness.
TW: “works”. As in, whatever works, legally speaking.
Comment by CP on 7/30 @ 7:05 pm #
It’s BOTH. LMAO. Just like it’s Hellman’s east of the Rockies.
Comment by republican on acid on 7/30 @ 7:15 pm #
Ah well that lady never needed anything to help her out in that department.
Crazy is easy with Frisch Easy Baked Crazy…
She at this point has bought into the idea that her reality is not a reality any longer. So desperate with fear and hate and a logical disconnect from her spiritual and cultural needs that she is literally set adrift on a sea of complete insanity.
Not only does she project, but she also harbors some obviously weird desire, a deep seated desire, to return to that harbor that she detached herself from so many years ago.
I see her kind everywhere. Her symptom is a symptom of many. Those that believe their “educators” realities. It is a very twisted religion these days. Politics have finally become a true identity for many and frankly, I find that somewhat sad.
No fun at the Frisch fry… ever. Fun is not allowed. Fun is wrong. Viva the cretin-o-lution!
Sorry for that. I am coming down now..
Comment by Swen Swenson on 7/30 @ 7:28 pm #
Hey! If I buy eggs will the Easter ‘dillo hide ‘em in my yard?
For what it’s worth, I’m not a Republican. Not a Dimocrat either, so I’m not embarrassing anyone but myself, thank you very much!
TW: It’s probably a lack of proper potty training (and not on my part, if you catch my drift)!
Comment by sesame screeds on 7/30 @ 7:44 pm #
If Oragami is the artful of folding of paper, then it must be that Oregonzo is the art of folding hobos with Jeeps. With optional urination, it becomes perfomance art.
Comment by Swen Swenson on 7/30 @ 7:44 pm #
Cheez! And there I go with the psychobabble again. Speaking of which, where is that crazy little.. person? Sleeping it off? Gone Frisching for attention elsewhere? I mean! A day without Deb is like a day without hemorrhoids. You know, the big, octopus hangin’ out your butt kind.
C’mon Deb, lay one on us. You know you want to.
TW: If you just happened to be passing by, that is.
Comment by maggie katzen on 7/30 @ 7:51 pm #
swenn, she visited sean m. this morning.
Comment by N. O'Brain on 7/30 @ 7:58 pm #
I always thought that was folding up trolls while they made funny squeaking noises.
Regular trolls, now, not your Dr. Demented off the Richter scale kind of nuttiness.
We HAVE to come up with a new name for her and her ilk.
Comment by CP on 7/30 @ 8:03 pm #
MK, the “she” now claims to frequent comedy clubs doing her own version of stand up on her blog. Oh the humanity!
Comment by krazy kat on 7/30 @ 8:04 pm #
That is hysterical. You are really funny. I can see why people spend their free time reading about you.
A dead hobo bleeds out reeking of alcohol and you reek of fries.
Pretty funny, tweaker man.
Got meth?
Comment by N. O'Brain on 7/30 @ 8:11 pm #
Is that a clue?
Comment by McGehee on 7/30 @ 8:18 pm #
Balrog?
Comment by McGehee on 7/30 @ 8:20 pm #
Speak for yourself, Phyllis Schlafly.
Comment by krazy kat on 7/30 @ 8:30 pm #
you should call us rabid moonbats, you dumbphuque rightwing nutcases.
Jeff’s a tweaker, you know. You wouldn’t write the crap he writes if you weren’t doing meth or something like it.
Trust me, I’m a mental health professional.
turing word: europe
europe is getting tighter and tighter, armadillo man.
time to say bye-bye to protein wisdom and the count.
Comment by maggie katzen on 7/30 @ 8:36 pm #
why do i get the feeling we’re in the presence of greatness yet again?
Comment by Big Cooze Hunter on 7/30 @ 8:40 pm #
Mags – But can he/she put that too music?
TW: Lets all party down. TOGAAAA!!!!!
Comment by Charlie (Colorado) on 7/30 @ 8:43 pm #
Waga Kaapu no
pinchi mo
nanika shiawase na
Kibun de miori
kimi ni motarete.
Comment by Charlie (Colorado) on 7/30 @ 8:44 pm #
… except I’m a Giants fan.
Comment by Limewald Sockperson on 7/30 @ 8:44 pm #
- This is all a conspiracy, and I am not this Greenwald person, whom I can assure you, I only know through his brilliant writing and top flight law practice.
…….
What?
…..
The banjo belongs to my brother…
…….
He lets me use it…
…….
Alright. that’s it. I don’t have to stand here and take this abuse. Good day to you Sir!
Comment by maggie katzen on 7/30 @ 8:47 pm #
you take that back Charlie!!!!
okay, yeah, i don’t care for baseball.
Comment by EFG on 7/30 @ 8:48 pm #
Hey Jeff, here is a link to an article about a Marine who is doing an awesome job in Iraq. I mention this because it looks to me like he grew up in the same neck of the woods as you. (meaning somewhere in Colorado)
Anyway, it’s a good article.
US Marine in Iraq
Comment by EFG on 7/30 @ 8:51 pm #
I just checked the link I provided and it seemed to be bad for some reason.
The article is called “USMC sniper metes out swift death in Iraq”
It is on Yahoo news.
Here is the web address:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060730/ap_on_re_mi_ea/iraq_the_marksman;_ylt=As1i3HOAutq2TrgoN23vYjpn.3QA;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NTMzazIyBHNlYwMxNjk2
Comment by Chef Mojo on 7/30 @ 8:52 pm #
Trust me, I’m a mental health professional.
Well, if that don’t beat all. Say, you want we should hook you up with this crazy white “keepin’ it real” lezbian in Eugene, Oregon? She’s a little off-kilter and could use your services. On a pro bono basis, I’m sure. Or do you mental health professionals do that?
TW: she. As in ”She bop, he bop, a-we bop, I bop, you bop, a-they bop…”
Comment by EFG on 7/30 @ 8:53 pm #
OK, I’m sorry if my link screwed up the formating of this page. I’m an idiot. I’m quiting now.
AND I CONDEMN MYSELF!!!
Comment by Evil Pundit on 7/30 @ 8:56 pm #
I am a bad boy, I simply cannot get enough. Here’s some quality vintage Frisch from last year. The thread is hilarious.
Comment by Swen Swenson on 7/30 @ 9:03 pm #
DaYamn! I believe we’ve conjerred up a lurking web orc!
TW: Tweeker? Armadillo man? C’mon Krazy Kat surely a <s>dangling hemorrhoid</s> mental health professional can do better than that! You get extra points for creativity and style you know.
Comment by Swen Swenson on 7/30 @ 9:19 pm #
Okay, so <s>strike-outs</s> don’t work. I knew that.
Comment by EFG on 7/30 @ 9:27 pm #
For what it’s worth Sven, I just tried to take text that had been “struckout” from a MS Word docuemnt. No such luck. When I pasted it, the text showed up in the comment section, but the strikeout was gone.
Don’t bother thanking me. I waste time so you don’t have to.
Comment by Shawn on 7/30 @ 9:31 pm #
The heavenly aroma of pistachios?
I vote for ogre/ogress or yog-sogoth (or something else equally Lovecraftian)
TW: thinking…
Comment by Swen Swenson on 7/30 @ 9:39 pm #
Speaking of Dr. Demento:
TW: Always preview!
Comment by Teacher's Pet on 7/30 @ 9:43 pm #
I am shaking my head, again, still, etc. This is a strange person. I realize that those on the left who are left with no rational argument (it’s common, yes) tend to wander off into the realm of ad hominem attacks, but you don’t see stupidity on this scale very often.
Wow.
Comment by CP on 7/30 @ 9:48 pm #
How about Frisch Gras. Just replace the Fois with Frisch. You can make whatever connection to it you want.
TW: my thoughts on it are NSFW.
Comment by Swen Swenson on 7/30 @ 10:04 pm #
Hmm.. My apologies, that wasn’t very nice, even by my low standards. What I get for swilling jug wine all afternoon.
The Dementosphere?
Debocrats?
Or something more PC, like: Socially Challenged?
Personally, I like: The Psychosphere.
Comment by Evil Pundit on 7/30 @ 10:07 pm #
I like “Dementosphere”. Another possibility is “psychomorass”.
Comment by Limewald Sockperson on 7/30 @ 10:11 pm #
From her own posts on that link, Frischwitch admits to having been fired from U of Oregon too. She’s been at this sort of behavior for awhile now. Asocial sociapath? Maybe its a fortunate thing that she’s escaped to the woods in Eugene.
Comment by Big Cooze Hunter on 7/30 @ 10:13 pm #
- That was me. Forgot to take the sock off my head….
Comment by Swen Swenson on 7/30 @ 10:23 pm #
It looks good, Green is definitely your color!
Comment by Big Cooze Hunter on 7/30 @ 10:24 pm #
variations on a theme: The “an ordinary clock glimpsed in its moment of brief existential oppressed workers angst†post (from the protein wisdom conceptual series)
tic
tic
tic
tic
tic
Crappola… toc’s late again for his shift. Fuck this. $5.36 an hour won’t buy dick. I need a cold one and time to think about the coming revolution. I’m outta here….
…
…
…
…
…
Comment by Shawn on 7/30 @ 10:33 pm #
To clocks, each hour is a revolution.
TW: Red is the color of revolution…okay, the second hand too.
Comment by McGehee on 7/30 @ 10:39 pm #
Interesting that the Frischevik is calling herself “krazy kat.” Some may be too young to remember, but Krazy Kat’s idea of being flirted with, was to be hit in the head with a brick.
So, it’s no wonder she keeps coming back here.
Comment by PMain on 7/30 @ 10:53 pm #
In order to be a “professional” doesn’t one need to be employed?
Comment by Shawn Carter on 7/30 @ 10:54 pm #
Ah…being in a funny farm or about to be in a funny farm doesn’t qualify a person as a mental health professional…
Comment by Rusty on 7/30 @ 10:58 pm #
what is it about poems
concerning itinerants?
what’s that in the road?
Comment by Great Mencken's Ghost on 7/30 @ 11:03 pm #
Harrison was right. Selling yer plasma is steadier money.
Comment by Rob Crawford on 7/30 @ 11:09 pm #
How the fuck big are your feet?!
Comment by Ric Locke on 7/30 @ 11:11 pm #
Sven and EFG,
Strikeouts work
jes’ fineperfectly, but you have to spell out the tag; it’sand. <s> won’t do it. Neither will cut-and-paste from Microsoft Word [shudder].Regards,
Ric
Comment by Ric Locke on 7/30 @ 11:13 pm #
How very interesting. I used the correct syntax for < and &rt;, but the preview converted them to < and &rt;—then read them as the tags I was trying to avoid!
<strike> and </strike> are the needed tags for strikethrough.
Regards,
Ric
Comment by Big Cooze Hunter on 7/30 @ 11:27 pm #
Rob – Different “head”….but still maybe it was a good question anyway…’Member, you have to have your hands free to hold the banjo….
Comment by Beck on 7/30 @ 11:30 pm #
You know what the best thing is about a large pepperoni pizza? Once you’re done eating all the pizza you can, the remaining, uneaten slices needn’t go to waste, as you can simply pick the pepperonis off them to eat individually.
Comment by ahem on 7/30 @ 11:39 pm #
well, Deb, ya got the ‘krazy’ part right.
Comment by Tom the Pooklekufr on 7/31 @ 12:07 am #
Notice how Deb prowls her favorite haunts in the late afternoon/early evening?
Now, Count Dracula is obviously out as a nickname because in her coprolalia she has already co-opted an analog. But a vampiric name would be fitting.
Deblock?
Nosfrischatu?
Barfrisch?
Yulian Bodebscu?
Ah, hell. The best epiphet would be the name her parents gave her. No one need attach a nickname to Hannibal Lecter, Ted Bundy, Joseph Stalin, or Don Knotts for their reputations to live in infamy.
Comment by Hosedragger on 7/31 @ 12:10 am #
Maybe we are all wrong. Maybe she is just having a major manic episode. I got 10 bucks says she suffers from untreated manic/depressive disorder. It would definately explain the lucid stages and the raging lunatic stages she seems to be going through. Especially since it seems to have progressed clinically over the last 19 months…as evidenced by the increased appearances and growing paranioa of her postings over that time. All the more reason to take extra precautions Jeff.
TW: When are the EPD ging to show up and take her on that orange jumpsuit vacation?
Comment by N. O'Brain on 7/31 @ 12:11 am #
That’s it!
tw: hours spent running in horror from that bitch down in Moria.
Comment by JorgXMcKie on 7/31 @ 12:35 am #
My belief is that you have to get paid for your services to be called a professional. Therefore our balrog is undoubtedly lying, unless she has become a paid subject in some sort of mental health gone awry research. I suppose that would be a mental health professional of a certain sort.
Hmmmm. A related thought. If she can get government support for herself due to her problems (she might qualify for Social Security disability payments, for example) does *that* make her a mental health professional? Being paid for being crazy?
Comment by sesame screeds on 7/31 @ 12:41 am #
Psychosphere is good. Gonzodrome?
Comment by Tom the Pooklekufr on 7/31 @ 1:07 am #
I was right about the vampiric behaviour. Deb’s ”goin’ fishin’” at twilight.
Wonder what that means? Given that at this time of night she’s usually expressing her lunacy through a keyboard, I shudder to think what she’ll do out in the real world.
Trackback by Large Hobo on 3/10 @ 8:16 pm #
Large Hobo
Oh Gucci Chain Large Hobo, will you please be mine Measuring 11″ x 9″ x 5,” this large sl
Trackback by Dog Hemorrhoids on 4/27 @ 6:41 pm #
Dog Hemorrhoids
Dogs Canine Health Can a dog have hemorrhoids. Sarah Starr says she met Laurie
Trackback by Mentle Hemorrhoids on 6/7 @ 7:30 am #
Mentle Hemorrhoids…
Find a Board; Health Experts; Diet & Nutrition Boards; Mental Health Boards; Paren…
Trackback by Hemmoroid And Pregnant on 6/28 @ 1:05 am #
Hemmoroid And Pregnant…
Pregnancy Hemoroids FAQ on Hemroids Symptoms & Pics. If you c…