July 19, 2006

Overheard inside a Beirut bunker, Wednesday, July 19

First Hezbollah militant: “Have you heard the latest buzz, brother?”*

Second Hezbollah militant:

First Hezbollah militant: “Evidently, we great warriors of Allah may soon be met by the unified muscle of the world.”

Second Hezbollah militant:

First Hezbollah militant: “In the form of—hold on to your bandana—UN peace-keeping troops.”

Second Hezbollah militant:

First Hezbollah militant: “Who, it is said, will police southern Lebanon and protect the interests of the ‘legitimate’ Lebanese government.”

Second Hezbollah militant:

First Hezbollah militant: “In lieu of a Zionist ground offensive.”

Second Hezbollah militant:

First Hezbollah militant: “Ha! See?  I knew I could make you smile!”

Second Hezbollah militant: “I can’t help it.  It’s the shiny blue helmets.  When they gallop away in full retreat?—their bobbing reminds me of my salad days spent watching waves lap the shores of the Mediterranean…”

Posted by Jeff G. @ 5:30pm
39 comments | Trackback

Comments (39)

  1. Yes, but they have Mandates!  Maa-a-a-andates!!!  Which, now I come to think of it, doesn’t seem all that appropriate, since it’s mainly jailbait orphans they go after…

    TW: Do the children.  No, wait… that’s not the saying… let me think….

  2. “Salad days.”

    Wonder how that turn of phrase got started.

  3. UN peace-keeping troops = toy soldiers

    Wonder how that turn of phrase got started.

    I don’t know.  First time I heard it was in Raising Arizona.

  4. I wonder if Second has any sisters in So. Lebanon, knowing the blue helmets love for the good old rapety-rape.

  5. Salad Days is a romantic shōnen manga created by Shinobu Inokuma, which is a collection of romance stories occurring in a high school/college setting.

    T/W tossing

    No, not really.

  6. Yes, but they have Mandates!  Maa-a-a-andates!!!

    How does Sully feel about the UN? Need I ask?

  7. UN peace-keeping troops = toy soldiers

    Usually, but not always.  A while back, when the Khmer Rouge was still in the jungles of Cambodia, there was a UN force there.  They’d attack, and Dutch or whatever troops would withdraw, of course.

    One day, the Khmer Rouge attacked a UN unit again.  Except this one was a Sikh unit from India.  They stood and actually fought, doing a very good job of repulsing the Khmer Rouge and taking casualties while doing it.  It was just about unheard of: a UN force being useful and brave.

  8. “My salad days, When I was green in judgment.”

    Cleopatra in Anthony and Cleopatra, Act 1

    Longer Cleopatra: “If I but knew now what I didn’t know then, I wouldn’t have let Caesar roll me out of a carpet and into the balsamic vinegar and olive oil.”

  9. “But I was very young and cucumber-like”

  10. they gallup away in full retreat?

    Poll-induced advance to the rear?  Or did you mean gallop?

  11. I knew I should have just stuck with the no posting thing.

    Thanks for the reminder.

  12. Speaking of salad, I just got off the boat to Cyprus and – are you ready for this? – nothing but bleu cheese dressing on the salad!

    I mean Bush made us wait before he got us out of there and then he can’t even use his big executive powers to mix up a nice vinegrette or a tangy creamy Italian.

    Speaking of creamy Italians…..

  13. Ah, damnit, Jeff don’t take it all so personally.

    Except for the stuff that actually is personal, that is.

    TW: believe it or not, I wrote that all without scrolling down to look at the Turing Word, which is (and this scares the bejesus out of me): personal.

  14. Sigh… the memories.

    I had a nice tomato in my salad day

  15. Well if Israel chickens out now they better get used to tabouleh.

  16. Usually, but not always.

    Fair enough.  But, the vast majority is useless.

    I seem to remember Executive Outcomes making the UN peace-keepers look inept in Africa.  The soldier ratio was approximately 1 to 100.

    It’s too bad that Clinton issued a fatwa against EO.

    Inept in Africa:  The UN Story would make a great movie title.

  17. What about the ones already there, sitting on their asses and whining that they can’t get room service anymore? Couple of thousand of ‘em.

    What, they can’t keep the “peace” unless there is some?

  18. It’s the shiny blue helmets.  When they gallop away in full retreat?—their bobbing reminds me of my salad days spent watching waves lap the shores of the Mediterranean…”

    If your helmet turns blue while bobbing up and down, it’s time to take the cockring off.

    TW: It’s simple, really. Just think of Helen Thomas until you go flaccid.

  19. Yeah, but here’s the problem.  This is a hot war in a dangerous place that is in the eye of the media.  Therefore the “world” will want troops that are actually good, but want to place them under the command of the UN. This would be American troops of course.  Once again, the world will be bitching about the US when we refuse to go along with that plan.

    TW: Worked.  As in no it didnt.

  20. John,

    Well sure, they are Sikhs.

  21. And Isreal continues it’s eternal plea:

    “Lettuce Alone!”

  22. I’m thinking that’s the last time anyone let the Sikhs serve as UN peacekeepers.  Talk about not clear on the concept…

  23. My trackback never went through – obviously a problem at my site, can’t view the activity log.  Do I need to register to give a trackback?  Look, the really good part of ‘No Quarter’ is coming up so I’ve got to run.  But before doing so, I will commit a blogsin by trackingback in the comments.

  24. Do I need to register to give a trackback?

    (I’ll get this one, since I use the same blog engine that Jeff does.)

    “No.”

    Shank, did you get an error message from trying the trackback?

  25. yeah, and when I went to view my activity log I got a 404.  I dunno.

  26. In the olden days before refrigeration and 365 day growing seasons, salad greens were only available in the springtime for most people. Springtime is often used to indicate a person’s youth. So salad days refer to a person’s better days, or youth.

  27. And Isreal (sic) continues it’s eternal plea:

    “Lettuce Alone!”

    Posted by N. O’Brain

    on 07/19 at 04:31 PM

    (applauds)

    Ha Ha. Very punny.

    I think the troops are dressing.

    – Groucho

    SB: island

    thousand, of course

  28. Jeff,

    have you seen this at Iraqi The Model? Pretty interesting stuff.

  29. Even better, in my view, with respect to PC:

    http://hnn.us/blogs/entries/28442.html

    Did it happen?  Screw the truth, we’re dealing with the greater truthiness, here.

  30. That’s so funny because it’s true.

    And also pathetic because it’s true. UN peacekeepers won’t actually, you know, bring peace, but they will plenty of foriegn currency to the local brothels.

    Now you know what part of the Lebanese economy will make good investments.

  31. Oops, left out a word:

    …bring…

    “There you goooo.” Why is there no “smiley” of Eric Cartman?

  32. yeah, and when I went to view my activity log I got a 404.  I dunno.

    I don’t suppose you can recall what the trackback error message said. It might indicate whether the problem is at Jeff’s end.

  33. If you want a child starved, shot or sodomized send the UN.

    If you want a child saved, send the US, Australia and India.

  34. Blue helmets… Like a hoard of invading Liberals. No problem unless you have a sister, or they trap you in a room, and talk you to death.

    TW: progress – Yeh….that’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.

  35. Too bad we can’t use those Peacekeepers from that sci-fi show “Farscape”.  They know how to get the job done…

  36. Anyone have a link to that first picture of Claudia Black pinning Ben Browder?

  37. I have the perfect fellows to send in as peacekeepers – Gurkhas.

    They like playing with knives, too.  Let’s see how long Hezbollah lasts with them.

  38. When they gallop away in full retreat?

    All I could think of was when I was in Bosnia…talking to people about when the UN didn’t retreat.  You know, Srebencia – when they stayed and helped the Serbs load up the Boniaks on to buses…

    TW: simple.  Yes, it is simple to understand why you wouldn’t want the blue helmets.

  39. DSXogf hi! how you doin?

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