July 25, 2006

Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance, abridged, 26

Sometimes, the only way to acclimate yourself to engine noise is to take off the helmet and simply immerse yourself in it. 

Of course, you might also try ear plugs—but that’s hardly very zen, is it?  And to paraphrase the Kyoto school’s Masao Abe’s “One Bird with Two Wings” parable, “chicks with decent breasts almost never ride topless with guys who do the dorky earplug thing.”

—Which is something the truly enlightened student must certainly take into account before deciding on his course of action.

Posted by Jeff G. @ 7:45pm
24 comments | Trackback

Comments (24)

  1. Yes, it’s true.  If their breasts are attractive enough, they can make just about any kind of noise and we keep on grinning.

  2. You know, during the radio thing I started thinking that Greenwald is some kind of f-ed up combination of Pinocchio and Geppetto.

    Hey, maybe someday he’ll be a real boy.

  3. Fractured Fairy Tales.

  4. Regarding the helmet thing, you might also to immerse yourself in the Gary Busey “one head, severely fucked up” parable.

  5. Let’s see.

    Earplugs, she stays clothed.

    Zen awareness, she drops halter.

    What to do, what to do.

    Is she driving or am I?

    Cause if I’m driving the noise from the air horns is gonna be annoying with no benefit for me.

    If she’s driving, well then I’ll drop plugs and hold on!

  6. The answer is “the cypress tree in the courtyard.”

    Trust me – it’s always “the cypress tree in the courtyard.”

    Except when it’s “three pounds of flax,” or an upraised fist.

  7. ’Cause them monks got way too much time on their hands.

    I.E., If you meet the Buddha on the road, bill him.

  8. Or as Zen master Shiriu Watanabe asked,

    “What is the sound of one breast bouncing?”

    SB: form

    high and proud

  9. I.E., If you meet the Buddha on the road, bill him.

    Cool!  Consultant Zen!

  10. If she’s driving, well then I’ll drop plugs and hold on!

    Yes—the whole “riding topless” thing is kind of pointless if she’s sitting behind me.

  11. Yes—the whole “riding topless” thing is kind of pointless if she’s sitting behind me.

    I dunno about that… At the very least, it promotes envy amongst those without their own Big Breasted Bed-Thrasher mounted on the p*ssy seat.

  12. Sometimes, the only way to acclimate yourself to engine noise is to take off the helmet and simply immerse yourself in it.

    Immersing your head into the fender of a Buick kinda ruins the effect, though, take my word for it.

  13. The enlightened student will ride an old school air-cooled Ducati, with ear plugs and a helmet, and the topless chicks with decent breasts will come. Yes, they will.

  14. Yes—the whole “riding topless” thing is kind of pointless if she’s sitting behind me.

    McGehee, I stand in awe of your if point.

    You’re a wise (beyond your intent?) man, there is absolutely no reason she couldn’t sit in front and facing you, though it’d be helpful if she was short so you could see where you were going.

  15. Last one of these Persig-y posts I commented on, the bike was but a dream.  Yesterday I put 104 miles on my Yamaha FZR.  Motorbikes are a grand hobby.  Wooooooooosh!

  16. When I bought my BMW K1200LT, the latest in a long line of bikes, the gorgeous lady rep who races bikes told me that if I had a ten cent head, I could get by with a ten cent helmet.  I’m sure she thought I over bought, even at that price.

  17. Few things compare with a two wheel terra-fighter taken to the limit.  On Friday, September 10, 2004, I rode 1765 miles from my home in Georgia to Ogunquit, Maine in 26.5 hours going across the George Washington Bridge in NYC at 5 pm.  Last March, I rode from home to Albuquerque, NM finishing the last 400 miles across the desert into 60+ mph winds.  Ain’t no bare-boobed babe going to sit still for that.

  18. there is absolutely no reason she couldn’t sit in front and facing you

    Doesn’t need to be facing me. If she’s holding the handlebars, I can be holding the headlights.

  19. McGehee’s got the right idea. She sits in front, you “let” her steer the bike while you lock the throttle at about 70 mph on I-95. Since she can’t let go …

    None of you guys have heard of that one? What the hell do you do at Bike Week these days, anyway?

  20. Do you have to have the electroshock therapy?

    On my bike, she sits on the gas tank facing me and we’re both naked.

    Needless to say I don’t ride anymore after the accident.

  21. Have you ever seen what wind resistance does to a guy’s jowels when he rides?  Please, if you are going to make the poor girl ride topless in front, the aesthetics of aerodynamics beg you to hold ‘em down or let her ride backwards. 

    For the children.  For the zen.

  22. Sometimes all a woman can do is sit back and marvel at the workings of the male mind.

    TW: Ain’t that the “truth”.

  23. Hi

    I just want to say that this is a really good blog

    Thanks for the info

    Dave

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